Johnny Depp Wins the MTV Movie Award for Most Accessories

I didn’t watch the MTV Movie Awards last night because I have HBO and I’m not 13, but rest assured, I still got lots of shouty emails about it. One of the most “exciting!” “outrageous!” and “unexpected!” moments of the evening, I’m told, was when Johnny Depp received the “Generations Award” from Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, and then took the stage to play guitar with the Black Keys. As for his sick outfit, Mystery would approve. Accessories are very sexual.

Look, I’m not saying Johnny Depp isn’t a great actor (thought I DO think he and Tim Burton need to be separated immediately, like two kids who won’t stop playing grabass on the bus) or that he isn’t still cooler than 99 percent of the people in Hollywood, I’m just saying that when you’ve got on more scarves, beads, chains, and dangly accessories than both the guys from Aerosmith combined, that maybe it’s time for a fashion intervention. The guy wears more layers of clothing than a medieval clergyman.

Video, and full list of winners after the jump. SPOILER ALERT: Jennifer Aniston got “best onscreen dirtbag.” Now if you’ll excuse me, my saracastiquote button is about to overheat, so I need to write about something else for a while.

Winners of the “2012 MTV Movie Awards” are as follows (*denotes new category/**voted on by an Academy of Directors):

MOVIE OF THE YEAR (voting stays live throughout the 2012 Movie Awards ceremony)
•    “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1”
Director: Bill Condon, Producers: Karen Rosenfelt, Wyck Godfrey, Stephenie Meyer
(Summit Entertainment)

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
•    Jennifer Lawrence – “The Hunger Games” (Lionsgate)

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
•    Josh Hutcherson – “The Hunger Games” (Lionsgate)

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE**
•    Shailene Woodley – “The Descendants” (Fox Searchlight)

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
•    Melissa McCarthy – “Bridesmaids” (Universal Pictures)

BEST CAST*
•    “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” (Warner Bros. Pictures) – Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton

BEST ON-SCREEN TRANSFORMATION*
•    Elizabeth Banks – “The Hunger Games” (Lionsgate)

BEST FIGHT
•    Jennifer Lawrence & Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig – “The Hunger Games” (Lionsgate)

BEST KISS
•    Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart – “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1”
(Summit Entertainment)

BEST GUT-WRENCHING PERFORMANCE*
•    “Bridesmaids” (Universal Pictures) – Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper
Food poisoning turns the girls’ dress fitting into a disaster

BEST ON-SCREEN DIRTBAG*
•    Jennifer Aniston – “Horrible Bosses” (Warner Bros. Pictures)

BEST MUSIC*
•    “Party Rock Anthem,” LMFAO – “21 Jump Street” (Sony Pictures)
House dance party

Phew, thank goodness LFMAO won best music, I haven’t heard that song enough yet.

[banner picture via TheSuperficial]