The trailer for Oneechanbara Vortex, a Japanese film about a girl in a bikini who kills zombies with a samurai sword, isn’t in English and doesn’t have subtitles, but somehow I don’t think we’re missing much.  I love how straightforward the Japanese are about this stuff.  I can only imagine the focus group discussions over there – “Look, lady, I’m a regular guy.  I like my steaks medium, my potatoes mashed, my beer cold, and my sex violent, underage, and cartoonish, okay?  We don’t have to reinvent the wheel here.”

[Twitch]

I know I normally hate zombies and all, but “Jim Henson’s Resident Evil 5″ comes from Black20, whom you may remember from their fake Spirit trailer, “Quantum of Bonds,” or “Journey at the Center of The Earth.”  Anyway, this one’s probably not as good as their others, but still pretty decent.  I’d really like to know how they do that digital blood spurting effect.  Seems like it’d really spice up my videos of myself masturbating.  What?  Oh, like you don’t do it.

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The fine folks over at i-hacked.com have an article that begins “*** WARNING YOU SHOULD NEVER TAMPER WITH THESE SIGNS ***”, which then goes on to tell you the best way to tamper with these signs.  I like their style.  Though I worry that this sign in particular could lead to more assholes like this.  Hey, nice zombie outfit, did you make it out of your old ‘Vote for Pedro’ shirt?  Anything else you’d like to ruin for everyone?

UPDATE: Commenter Stone Soup writes: “Vince, I’m partial to this low-tech hack.”  Touché, sir, touché.

[Thanks to the svelte, Axe-scented Ufford for the tip]

Død Snø, aka Dead Snow, a Norwegian film about Nazi zombies and the møøse who bit their sister, has been picked up by IFC Films. They plan a theatrical release later this year.  I know I like to complain about zombies as a tired concept a lot, but that’s mainly because George Romero keeps trying to pitch them as a timely metaphor.  The makers of Dead Snow clearly realize that zombies are much more effective as a metaphor for a guy getting blood puked on his face, or cutting off his own arm with a chainsaw.  That kind of symbolism is as old as time.  Older, even.

On the left we have Dead Snow, featuring chainsaw-decapitated Nazi zombies, while on the right we have Crank 2, with metal fingers, track marks and high voltage.  I’m gonna have to give a slight edge to Crank 2, if only because it has Jason Statham’s name on it.  The name alone is worth at least three Cannibal Corpse albums.  Plus, the Stath wouldn’t need a chainsaw, he decapitates Nazis with his dick.

[via Rush Print and IMPA]