After being bumped from its original December 2012 release, the

I haven’t read the book, but from what I understand, it’s an oral history of a zombie apocalypse told after the fact. The movie is set during the zombie outbreak, with Brad Pitt trying to find out what caused the zombies to become zombies, while stuff explodes around him as graphs and helpful expository dudes tell us how many people have died and Brad Pitt runs and runs. It all feels very Nic Cage. Have you noticed that in movies, “racing against the clock” always involves a lot of actual racing? They should just hire the world’s foremost scientist, Usain Bolt.

Meanwhile, Brad Pitt’s daughter in this may win the son-in-Homeland Memorial Award for being a verbose rube. “Daddy, I’m scared!” Wait, you mean you’re scared of the horde of murderous zombies trying to beat down the door as we cower in this tiny panic room? Gee, what a fresh observation, honey! This changes everything! You’re just the one to lead us out of this mess, we’ll start by declaring you the Empress of Obvioustown.

Read the rest of this entry »

Normally I like to leave the actual comic book news to my bros at Gamma Squad, because they actually read them and know what they’re talking about, but today I noticed a headline and immediately thought, “Damn it, this is going to be a movie.” The headline in question comes from Deadline and reads: “Broadway ‘Spider-Man’ Savior Injects Zombie Attacks Into ‘Archie’ Comics”.

That’s right, Archie, Jughead, Betty and Veronica are getting the zombie treatment, because everything else has so why the f*ck not?

Read the rest of this entry »

“Quick, everyone to the Apple store!”

There’s really not much to say about the disaster in a disaster that is World War Z, the film adaptation of Max Brooks’ outstanding zombie novel that isn’t actually based on the book, that we haven’t already said before. The basic recap is that the film rights caused a bidding war between production companies owned by Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt, with the latter eventually securing the rights, and that was probably the only positive highlight of an otherwise doomed film production.

With World War Z reportedly way over budget and experiencing a litany of production problems, fans of the literary version have grown incredibly skeptical of the film’s prospects, and we’re all basically endlessly crying over this movie, despite the fact that we haven’t seen it. Thankfully, someone finally got his eyes on a clip of WWZ, specifically the first eight minutes, and it sounds like we basically have more to complain about now.

That someone is Badass Digest’s Devin Faraci, who was able to peep the exclusive footage at Harry Knowles’ birthday movie marathon. I’m just going to assume that my invitation was lost in the mail.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tomorrow night, Entertainment Tonight is going to rock our worlds with the exclusive first look at the trailer for World War Z, which is based on the name of the best-selling book by Max Brooks. Directed by Marc Forster and starring Brad Pitt, Matthew Fox and a bunch of people who will be eaten, the film revolves around this plot: “A U.N. employee is racing against time and fate, as he travels the world trying to stop the outbreak of a deadly Zombie pandemic.”

That, of course, was not the plot of the book, but we have been there and done that to death and brought it back to life so it could eat our brains before we did it to death again. Since its inception, this book-to-film process has been a complete mess, and it has reportedly cost Pitt’s Plan B Entertainment and the other production companies north of $150 million to get to a point at which it is simply acceptable to finally release.

But hey, check out the sweet zombie wave coming down those stairs. That’s pretty cool, right?

Read the rest of this entry »

With Magic Mike officially becoming Channing Tatum’s third $100 million movie of 2012, Hollywood’s newest A-lister has been understandably busy these past few weeks (notably, winning the gold in Competitive Twerking). That’s why I was a little disheartened that I hadn’t received any exclusive White House Down storyboards from my exclusive top secret source, especially with the movie being fast-tracked and filming beginning this month.

This morning, my source assured me that storyboards are being drawn up like hot steps, er, I mean hot cakes, and in his own words:

Yo son, so we added some James Woods up in dis mix, right? And like Maggie G-Spots got da titties like PAPOW! n I B like, brown bag dat lunch n yo face, right?

Today’s storyboard is actually Part 1 of what I’m being told is a 3-part series of a very pivotal turning point in the middle of the film (White House Down currently has a running time of 12 hours and 6 minutes). Apparently Col. Ackbar Muslim finds a way to turn American people into zombies and Agent Cole “Snoop” Baretta not only has to find a cure for the zombie virus, but he also has to defeat the zombie leader.

This will certainly be no easy feat, but thankfully Cole receives some spiritual help from an unlikely place. Without further ado…

Read the rest of this entry »