The MPAA has lowered the rating for Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno from NC-17 to R.  Smith received an NC-17 rating for his first cut of the film, then re-cut it, and received another NC-17.  He appealed the second rating without re-cutting, and upon second viewing, the MPAA gave it an R-rating.  The board was probably just way less horny the second time around.

Smith said the MPAA ratings board objected to two sex scenes involving co-stars Jason Mewes and [pornstar] Katie Morgan. After the movie’s initial NC-17 rating, Smith said he trimmed those scenes as far as he was willing to go but was unable to convince the board to lower the rating.

"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy," Smith said. "It wasn’t designed to titillate."

The appeals board, a separate panel from the ratings board, viewed the movie Tuesday, and Smith presented his arguments. It was the third time Smith successfully talked his way down to a lower rating: His 1994 debut "Clerks" initially received an NC-17 rating that was reduced to an R on appeal, while his 2003 film "Jersey Girl" was reduced to PG-13 after first being rated R. [AP]

Phew. Not only would an NC-17 rating have been commercial suicide, it would’ve robbed our nation’s youth of the kind of witty, incisive commentary on pop culture events from 20 years ago for which Smith is known.  Okay, now in this scene, two people are gonna sit in front of something…

The MPAA has officially given Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno an NC-17 rating, meaning the only theaters where it could be shown would likely be filled with masturbating perverts, or worse, hippies.  News Askew says:

We’ve known of this or a while, given a few statements from Seth Rogen and Kevin himself, but this tells us that the MPAA did indeed grant the film this rating. “Pending appeal” tells us that the film’s producers have taken the “Clerks” route and have the MPAA taking a closer look, likely without any cuts, in the hopes they’ll be re-assigned an “R”. This isn’t new territory for View Askew, though the first scuffle in some time, as “Clerks II” surprisingly went through the ratings system with an “R” and no objections last time around, with Kevin very vocally expecting otherwise. A verbally graphic “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back” scene with hookers was excised but eventually made it to DVD.

Basically, they’ve asked the MPAA to review the film again, and if they give it NC-17 again, they’ll have to think about making cuts.  They should just rename it Zack and Miri Make S’Mores and call it a day.  Or maybe just Tom and Lisa Make a Porno because those names sound far less vulgar, don’t you think?

Those fun-hating shrivs at the MPA-gAy are once again proving that there’s nothing they hate more than bare titties. Specifically, Kevin Smith’s been having trouble getting an R rating for Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Seth Rogen (one of the film’s stars) tells MTV:

"A guy f—ing a donkey, they ain’t got no problem with. But a man and a woman having sex they seem to have real issues with, for some weird reason. It’s insane. It’s completely insane.  …They [fight against] sex stuff. Isn’t that weird? It’s really crazy to me that ‘Hostel’ is fine, with people gouging their eyes out and sh– like that," Rogen shrugged. "But you can’t show two people having sex — that’s too much."

It’s pretty common for people in trouble for graphic sex to cite the MPAA’s tolerance for graphic violence.  But no matter how often it gets said, it’s true, violence is way worse than sex.  Like the time Suzie Masterson kicked me in the shins in third grade.  I would’ve much preferred a blow job.  Hell, a hand job, even.

Kevin Smith made an unrated promo video for Zack and Miri Make a Porno a while back (original post here, video still available here), and now those cockblocking buzzkillers over at the MPAA (more like the MPA-gAy) have made him take it down.  He explains:

Weinstein Co. (like most studios) is a signatory of the MPAA. …As with features, all trailers get rated by the MPAA. The majority of them are for general audiences (Green Band trailers), but trailers packed with adult content [and by that he means naughty words –Ed.] like our teaser earns you what’s called a Red Band trailer.
Well, we didn’t go through this process – simply because, we felt, that since the teaser didn’t contain any footage from the actual flick, it wasn’t technically a trailer.
Turns out all promotional material for any film financed/distributed by a signatory of the MPAA has to be signed-off on by the MPAA – including internet-only materials. [NewsAskew]

Fascists.  There was a documentary out a few years ago about why the MPAA is a sham.  But I’ll tell you one thing they don’t have jurisdiction over, ladies – the human heart.  Say you wanted to email me naked pictures of yourself: there’s nothing they could do about it.  Let’s show these old shrivs that no one owns your body.

The strange thing about Kevin Smith is that, though I’d probably pay money just to hear him stand onstage and tell stories, I’m fairly indifferent to most of his movies.  (Except for Chasing Amy, which gives me the overwhelming urge to choke a bitch).  His new movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, starring Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks, has a new teaser out (watch it after the jump) and I have to say it looks like more of the same. 

For one thing, the plot sounds a lot like Porno by Irvine Welsh and The Amateurs.  For another, the most interesting part of the porn world (the pornogosphere?) to me is not the amateurs or the auditions, it’s the day-to-day interaction between the grizzled (jizzled?) veterans.  Like when you’re watching a two-on-one scene and one guy pulls out for a pop shot and it starts dripping on the other guy’s balls.  It just seems like that kind of thing would lead to really awkward watercooler conversation the next day.  I see a Ricky Gervais sketch…

If you hate YouTube, you can get the trailer in other formats here.