Vulture recently did an interview with Kevin Smith, in which he’s his charming, insightful, and funny self (I don’t understand why that so rarely comes through in his movies). He discusses the disappointment of Zack and Miri (which, to be fair, sucked), smoking weed to cope, and taking a hiatus from the internet. The whole thing’s worth a read, but here’s a snip:
“Opening on Halloween wasn’t great. We never really nailed our marketing campaign … I mean, having “porno” in the title in some weird way hurt. And that shocked me because I was like, “I thought that was our edge, for heaven’s sake.” But apparently not. I mean, it was what it was. But we should have done better. Because that, to me, was like the most mainstream flick that I could write.
“And so, yeah, that was tough, but something good came out of it, and that was that I became a habitual f-cking weed smoker, for a long period of time. They always tell you, “you don’t get anything done.” And, you know, I was more productive in six months … and maybe I’m giving credit to weed, but the fact of the matter is I stayed off the Internet for six months because after our opening I was like, “I can’t show my face on the Internet!” Because the Internet is like high school, and having Zach and Miri open to ten million is the equivalent of wearing a really gay-ass-looking shirt on the first day of school, and everyone’s talking about it for the next few months. So rather then go back to school, I quit school for a few months.”
It’s true, Kevin normally avoids the gay ass shirt ridicule, but only because he wears the same goddamned outfit every day. You just know that coat smells like loneliness and Febreze.
You’re in luck, Drunkards. This week’s winner AND runner up both get a prize, the two-disc DVD edition of Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno (IN STORES FEBRUARY 3RD), and a Zack and Miri poster signed by Kevin Smith himself, that tubby motherf-cker. And to everyone who didn’t win, buy the DVD so I don’t look bad. 4 out of 5 of today’s leading scientists say it will cure your scabies.
As always, the way this works is, when a commenter makes a comment worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section of this post. I’LL pick the winner from among the nominees next Sunday/Monday. The winner [usually] gets a sweet prize. (FYI, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).
And as always, we start with the honorable mentions. Read on to the end for the winner. First, from the Robert Mapplethorpe Biopic post, MaxwellDemon gives me Tommy Boy flashbacks:
MaxwellDemon says, “They could just shove the whip up the audience’s ass and call it Indiana Jones IV.”
Simba heard about Subway’s “Five-Dollar Footlongs” and immediately started masturbating
It was a rough weekend for Schadenfreude Sloth, as most of the major releases surpassed expectations, led by Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa with $63.5 million. Role Models landed in second with $19.3 million, while Zack and Miri Make a Porno dropped to fifth in its second weekend with $6.5, for a not-too-steep 35% decline from its first weekend.
Elsewhere, The Dark Knight should surpass $1 billion worldwide any day now, and Repo the Genetic Opera did a solid $6,447 per screen in limited release, proving… I don’t know, hopefully that people wanted to see Paris Hilton tortured and killed. My Name is Bruce and JCVD made $4,444 and $11,673 per screen, respectively. Meanwhile, my documentary Neighbor Lady Peeing premiered to largely positive reviews from the hoboes I invited to my apartment. “I liked the part with the aliens,” raved Dumpster Denny.
(full top ten after the jump) Read the rest of this entry »
Zack and Miri Make a Porno failed to steal the top spot from High School Musical over the weekend as its $10.7 million opening couldn’t match High School Musical’s $15 million second weekend haul. But don’t feel bad, Kevin Smith, as Yahoo astutely points out, it probably would’ve made more if it had just been a completely different film. Keep that in mind next time, ya silly goose! (full top ten after the jump)
“Baby Ruth?” Miller asked reporters at a recent press conference.
Larry Miller, owner of the Utah Jazz and the Megaplex Theater chain, has banned Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno (trailer), a week after showing Saw V on the same screens. It’s a good thing they didn’t go with the original title, Ajax & Genie Make a Torture Porn.
“We feel [Zack and Miri] is very close to an NC-17 with its graphic nudity and graphic sex,” the chain’s General Manager Cal Gunderson [who I guaran-goddamn-tee you hasn't seen it] said. Asked why Megaplex has no problem showing the R-rated, ultra-violent “Saw V,” which shows a man forced to crush his own hands to escape a pendulum cutting him in half, Gunderson said: “No comment.” [NY Post]
Gunderson doesn’t own the company and this probably wasn’t his decision, so I’m not sure why they went to him for comment, unless it’s because he has a silly name. Okay yeah, that makes sense. In any case, this isn’t the first time Mormon businessman Larry Miller, who presumably (and hopefully) reproduces asexually has faced controversy. Other greatest hits:
Banned Brokeback Mountain in 2006. Said he was concerned about “getting away from the traditional families”, what he called “a very dangerous thing.”
As the owner of a UPN affiliate, he demanded in 2000 the right to breach his contract with the network if it increased its “urban/ethnic programming” to more than two hours per week, due to lack of minorities within the Salt Lake Metropolitan.
Was sued by Casa Bonita, a Lakewood, Colorado restaurant for violation of intellectual property rights and unfair competition. They claimed that after Miller visited the restaurant several times and even asked to see the books, he opened a Utah knockoff called “The Mayan“.
“He is also known for his immense sense of caring and commonly cries at public speaking events such as Jazz player resigning and charity events.” *cough* PUSSY! *cough, cough*
But I’m sure he’s not a bad guy. He is well known for his charitable endeavors, including building a $21 million training center for cops and prison guards, and donating generously to the Utah Minutemen and National Guard. What a great man. After all, f-ck starving children and AIDS orphans, the most important charities are the ones that keep Mexicans off your lawn. I think I speak for everyone when I say, “May your children turn gay and marry negroes in France, you cocksucker.”
