Bros!  If we don’t clean up all these pumpkins by sundown, my big bro Steve is going to make me Edward 40 Hands till I hose!  Katie from Chi O (not blow job Katie) said it was those SigEp assh*les!  After we get this cleaned up, let’s power hour at the Kappa pig roast, then head over to Eagle Rock while those f*gs are at the Sigma Kattle date auction!  Taco! Fitzy! Bed Pan! Beaner! You guys pick up the pig from Spoogie’s uncle’s! Panda! Taint! Dozer! Asian Steve! Help me rally the troops!  Get the key to the med lab from Manson!  Tell Burger to borrow his mom’s wagon to haul the cadavers!  NO LETTERS!  If you get rolled, tell the Po-Po you’re the state lacrosse team!  (Haha, remember when Black Steve got arrested for getting a handy from that Asian Zeta slut on the hayride and then the cop shot him? F*cking rad, bro.)  Tex! Tell the pledges they’re on banner watch tonight! T-Bone spent six hours spray painting the ponchos for the Cinco De Marcho party this Friday, so if your little bro wants my sig, do NOT LET those DSP f*ggots steal that sh*t again!  And kick down some money for 30 packs, I know you’re not broke, your mom drives a Lexus.

Bring it in, broslices! Let’s teach these queer f*cks to mess with the DFC, then rock dawn patrol at Jimmy Johns!  Grip circle it up on three! AHOOGA! AHOOGA! AHOOGA! Now who wants to strip naked and wrestle?

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Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, and Todd Phillips carried the first Hangover, even though the script was pretty lame and hacky.  I was going to say that, instead of calling it “overrated”, but then the sequel teaser hits and practically the whole thing is glowing quotes from critics about the first one.  Really, guys?  That’s still the movie where the fat guy gets a BJ from an old lady in an elevator, right?

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JustJared today has the first pictures of Emma Stone going blonde for her role as Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spider-Man reboot starring Scarfield. Trivia: She’s actually a natural blonde.  But does the carpet match her pubes?  Stay tuned! [more pictures in the slideshow]

George Clooney directing film version of Enron: The Musical. Playwright Lucy Prebble will adapt from her own play.  Some of the British people from the play are pissed that none of them will be involved in the film version, and they’ll probably be even more pissed when this fails miserably.  Unless you work in the Glee kids singing “Don’t Stop Believin’”, no one’s seeing this. |Guardian|

Kathryn Bigelow and Hurt Locker screenwriter Mark Boal are re-teaming. Boal and Bigelow are shopping an “international thriller” that would shoot before Bigelow’s Triple Frontier starts next Fall.  So far, all we know is that it’s based on a true story that appeared in print, and that “the narrative concerns black ops.”  Asked Brett Ratner, CAN THE BLACK OPS ALSO BE SASSY?? |Variety|

Neill Blomkamp reteaming with Sharlto Copley in the sci-fi/horror project Elysium, “an action-based film with sociopolitical themes.”  The concept is being shopped around town with every studio reportedly showing interest.   I’m all for sociopolitical themes, but unless they can be communicated through Sharlto Copley eating cat food and crying, I’m not interested. |ThePlaylist|

Jay Roach to direct a political comedy starring Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell, “about two candidates timed to 2012′s U.S. presidential election.  Remember that Roach has experience in this genre; he replaced Sydney Pollack as the director of HBO’s 2008 Emmy-winning dramedy Recount about the 2000 Bush vs Gore election.”  And he most recently directed Dinner for Schmucks and produced Little Fockers, so I guess the only thing missing is experience in comedy. |Deadline|

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Before I report this, be advised that it’s highly possible that this is just TMZ trying to milk a big story and not really news. It’s hard to tell if “unnamed source” is code for “a person who would know” or just “some stuff we read on teh internetz.”

Multiple sources connected with the production tell TMZ … director Todd Phillips cast Mel in the role of a tattoo artist a month ago and that the entire cast and crew knew about it and were simpatico.
The problem came three days ago, when the story leaked.  Our sources say the friends of some of the cast and crew started putting pressure on them to lodge sudden, last-minute displeasure with Phillips’ choice.
Our sources say some of the production people became belatedly upset because they were getting so much crap from friends, so they began objecting. One of the loudest, we’re told, was Zach Galifianakis.
There were other people in the cast and crew who were also making noise about walking off the set if Mel showed up.  Our sources say Bradley Cooper was not among the group who complained. [TMZ]

As a quick fact check, the Mel Gibson cameo news broke around October 17th – 18th.  The news that Galifianakis was in “deep protest” over it hit the 19th.  HOWEVER, that protest story was based on something Galifianakis said on a Comedy Death Ray Podcast, which was recorded on the 13th or earlier.  Not mentioning Gibson by name, that was when Galifianakis said:

“I’m in a deep protest right now with a movie I’m working on, up in arms about something. But I can’t get the guys to [listen] … I’m not making any leeway.”

Since Galifianakis brought it up before the news broke, to say it was only after that the cast started complaining would seem to be false. And again, maybe the complaint was more that the bit wasn’t funny than because they were worried about offending Vegas sluts and packs of N-words.  We don’t know. It’s possible Brad Cooper was the only non-hypocrite. His deep blue eyes and masculine figure make me want to believe that.  However, it will be a cold day in hell before I ever trust a guy named “Brad.”  See this? Logic. I could be a TV judge.  (*waits for fist bump from sassy black bailiff*)

Here’s an interview Zach Galifianakis did last week with Gordon Keith, a local TV host in Dallas.  Everyone on the internet is calling it “uncomfortable” and “sphincter-clenchingly awkward.”  I saw it, and just assumed it was just a well-executed gag.  Keith does an incredible job of replicating Galifianakis’ Between Two Ferns shtick, and I assumed by the way the awkward pauses are of almost identical length to Galifianakis’ Two Ferns videos, that Galifianakis was in on it.  Keith however (who it should be noted does do a comedy show), claims that this was not the case:

To answer a few important sexual questions. Zach Galifianakis is brilliant, and a damn fine actor. No, he was not “in” on it. There was no “in.” I suck as an interviewer, hence I throw them comedic softballs that they can hit outta the park. I thought Zach did just that. “Don’t forget to smell Emma” is my new ringtone. [GordonKeith]

In on it or not, Keith is definitely lying about sucking as an interviewer, because this exchange was perfection:

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