*Air guitar*

So I was rocking out to Papa Roach at Ozzfest the other day, and in between bidding on ground effects for the CRX my cousin and I share, I was thinking, “Hey, they should make another xXx with Vin Diesel.”  Well it turns out they are, and they’ve hired a director.  I know, bro, I almost spit Monster energy drink on my Jnco pants when I found out.

Ericson Core has signed to helm “XXX: The Return of Xander Cage,” Columbia’s third installment in the action franchise.
Vin Diesel is reprising the role of the extreme sports athlete-turned-government operative he originated in the 2002 movie directed by Rob Cohen. Diesel and Cohen skipped the 2005 sequel, “XXX: State of the Union,” which starred Ice Cube and was helmed by Lee Tamahori.
Core, a cinematographer-turned-director, worked as DP on Diesel’s 2001 flick “The Fast and the Furious.”
John Brancato and Michael Ferris (“Terminator Salvation”) wrote the script for “Xander Cage.” It involves Cage’s return to the National Security Agency after an eight-year absence. Richard Wilkes, who wrote the original movie, did a recent polish. [THR]

Ericson Core, eh?  You can imagine the restraint it took not to rename himself Ericson ‘Core.  ERICSON ‘CORE & VIN DIESEL star in… THE SPACE VIKING WHO SKY-SURFED WITH LESBIANS. OOH WHA-AA AA-AA!!  But anyway, I’m glad they’ve got the original writer back.  This is xXx we’re talking here.  You can’t hire just any Mexican down at the Home Depot to write a movie about a spy in a fur coat who does rail grinds.  I’d also like to see a Nic Cage/Vin Diesel buddy action flick.  Caged Diesel, they could call it.

Variety reports today that Columbia pictures is in talks with Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen to come back for a third xXx movie.  That’s nine X’s!  XXXXXXXXXTREEEME!

The movie is tentatively titled xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, and FilmDrunk was able to obtain an exclusive copy of a scene from the film.  I’ve included it below.

INT. SECRET GOVERNMENT CIA PLANNING BUNKER, MILES UNDERGROUND

The General High Admiral of the CIA has assembled his best agents in one room to come up with a plan.  They stand around the enormous conference table, all of them in black suits and ties; all except Xander Cage, who keeps his feet up and his shades on, and blows cigar smoke in everyone’s face.  He can’t help it – he’s been blowing smoke in society’s face since the day he was born.

GENERAL HIGH ADMIRAL OF THE CIA
This is it gentleman.  Al Qaeda has finally done it.  They’ve taken over the local high school and turned it into a bombmaking facility.  Not only have they succeeded in perverting the youth, they are on the verge of completing a thermonuclear warhead.  I’ve brought you all here to find out one thing: Just what the hell do we do now?

VIN DIESEL AS XANDER CAGE
(blows smoke) Well, general, I think it’s pretty simple.  I think we need to go in there and give these kids a little lesson in non-conformity.

OTHER AGENT
(flying off the handle) You’re insane, Cage! There’s just no way!  Not only is the facility impenetrable, it’s been booby trapped from all sides!  And don’t count on any help from the kids, they’ve been completely brainwashed!  You’re a loose cannon, Cage!  This isn’t a time for one of your wildman schemes!

XANDER CAGE
(still calm) You know what I think, Dick? I think you spent too much time in the classroom and not enough time in the streets.  Oh, and another thing?  “Impenetrable” was what they said about your sister.  (Smells finger)

Agent lunges at Cage, and has to be restrained by the other agents.  The General High Admiral holds up his hands to call for calm.

GENERAL HIGH ADMIRAL
Gentleman, I’m afraid we’re out of options.  This time, (he furrows his brow, realizing the gravity of what he’s about to say).. we do it Cage’s way.

Read the rest of this entry »