X-Men First Class was better than it had any right to be, especially after the infamously rushed production schedule. A lot of people credit Matthew Vaughn for making it as good as it was, which makes it slightly worrisome that he dropped out of the sequel, leaving X-Men Days of Future Past to Bryan Singer, whose last few movies have been underwhelming. But so far Singer’s doing everything right, and by that I mean he tweeted a picture of naked Jennifer Lawrence getting her Mystique makeup applied. Well played, Singer, well played. You are my kind of auteur. BUT WAIT! Did I just say “Naked Jennifer Lawrence?” I did indeed say “Naked Jennifer Lawrence,” and “Naked Jennifer Lawrence” is exactly what I meant.

(*pulls out two prop pistols, fires, flags emerge from barrels reading “Search Engine Optimization” and “$$$$$”*)

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh hell yes. Everyone’s favorite dwarf (sorry, Wee Man), Peter Dinklage has joined the cast of X-Men 4 Subheading B, Future Pasts of Passed Futures Predicting Future Gross. Or, as it’s known in the lamestream media, X-Men: Days of Futures Past, which trades director Matthew Vaughn for X-Men 1 & 2 director Bryan Singer. Singer made the Dinklage announcement himself on Twitter.

Officially like to welcome #PeterDinklage from #GameOfThrones to #XMEN #DaysofFuturePast Very very excited!

— Bryan Singer (@BryanSinger) February 14, 2013

Singer didn’t say what character Dinklage might play, and none of the usual news outlets seem to know either. I don’t know much about the comic books myself, but I think it’d be cool if Dinklage played a new type of mutant, who has the power to transform himself into a dwarf but not back again.

(Including the gif of Tyrion slapping the piss out of Joffrey, because obviously).

Read the rest of this entry »

Bryan Singer made two X-Men movies, then Brett Ratner made a third, but it sucked, so Matthew Vaughn made a prequel to the first two with a new cast, and it was pretty good again. Now Bryan Singer is back making the sequel to that prequel, which will star prequel stars James McAvoy, Michael F. Assbender, and Jennifer Lawrence, along with original stars Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen (confirmed a few days ago). Now, the Hollywood Reporter says Hugh Jackman is in talks to come back to play Wolverine in X-Men: Let’s Just Forget That Whole Brett Ratner Thing.

Sources confirm that Hugh Jackman is in negotiations to reprise his Wolverine role in the movie, which is ostensibly a sequel to X-Men: First Class but will prominently feature actors from the first X-Men trilogy (the first two of which Singer directed).

Days of Future Past is a classic storyline that unfolded in two issues of Marvel Comics’ Uncanny X-Men in 1981, from writer Chris Claremont and artists John Byrne and Terry Austin. The story was partially set in an alternate future where surviving mutants have been penned in concentration camps, giant robots called Sentinels patrol America, and most of the X-Men have been hunted and killed. In the present day, the X-Men were forced to stop a key event from unfolding in order to keep that future from occurring. [THR]

I don’t know how the time travel storyline from Days of Future Past plays out in the comics (though I’m sure you nerds will tell me, won’t you – HELP, MY NECKBEARD IS BECOMING THICK AND DANDRUFFY!), but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I could watch an entire movie of Magneto flying around the Earth killing geriatric Nazis.

“X-MEN! You must prevent a key event and save the future from becoming a dystopian hellhole! (*whispering*) Psst. And here’s an extra thou if you can go back in time and keep Adam Levine’s parents from meeting.”

There’s been a little buzz building around Marvel’s efforts to buy up any loose end comic book characters that have already had films made about them, because it is believed that the comic book empire and film studio wants to be able to cram as many characters as possible into future projects. The best example of this is Daredevil, which Marvel Studios recently secured from Fox so that the blind lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen is now a free agent and the No. 1 rumored character to be included in The Avengers 2, even though there’s nothing to base that on.

That said, of course Marvel’s ultimate M.O. would be to have one gigantic epic film franchise that could combine all of their heroes into one colliding plotline, like… oh I’m just reaching here, but The Infinity Gauntlet comes to mind. So put on your loose underwear, because the nerd boners are about to Hulk up.

Read the rest of this entry »

I never read many comic books growing up because I was too busy being mediocre at sports and not getting laid, but one of the gripes about the X-Men movies I hear most often from comic book fans is that Wolverine, who was around 5’3″ in the comic books, is played by six-feet-tall Hugh Jackman. Normally I’d trade wedgies for information like this, but I have to admit, short guys don’t have many superheroes, so it sucks to take one away from them, and if he’s not supposed to be small, why the f*ck would you call him “wolverine?” Why not “T-Rex,” or “Sir Knifehands von Cuttington?” You call him Wolverine because wolverines are small.

In any case, when you think “small, buff, and angry,” you generally don’t think “Hugh Jackman.” What you might think is “Glenn Danzig.” The world’s most satanic onion soup-loving neighbor hater recently weighed in on the subject in an interview with LA Weekly on the eve of his Danzig Legacy Tour, in which he’ll be performing Misfits and Samhain songs with Doyle (you better believe I’ve got my ticket). He sees one major difference between Hugh Jackman’s portrayal and the way Glenn would’ve done it:

Early in the film’s pre-production, you were in talks to play Wolverine in X-Men. How would you have played Logan/Wolverine differently than Hugh Jackman?
It wouldn’t have been as gay. Actually, he wasn’t the first choice. They hired Dougray Scott. He had a falling out with the director, and then they hired Hugh Jackman. I’m glad I didn’t do it. It was terrible.

Mmm, that’s delicious Danzig. Sullen, dismissive, slightly angry to be there. “I’m just sayin’, I think there’s a one hell for demons, and sinners, and regular people, and a separate one for gay people.” “Mr. Danzig, you’re scaring me.”

Another beautiful Danzig quote, after the jump:

Read the rest of this entry »