After ruining the Golden Globes and indirectly bankrupting the knock-off gown and dog sweater industries, the writer’s strike has now doomed the Vanity Fair Oscar party.

"After much consideration, and in support of the writers and everyone else affected by this strike, we have decided that this is not the appropriate year to hold our annual Oscar party," said a statement posted on VanityFair.com.

The annual post-Oscar soiree often lures more luminaries than the ceremony itself. The night’s big winners and nominees typically turn out, along with A-listers including Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Cher, Sean Penn, Joni Mitchell and Al Gore. [AP]

Okay, timeout (hee hee, I feel just like Zack Morris!).  First of all, that’s weirdest collection of people I’ve ever seen.  I never expected to see those names together in a single sentence.  Secondly, I was not aware that Joni Mitchell had made the A-list.  Apparently my mom writes AP entertainment articles now.  

That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars?  Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana?  No one can say for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee ha!

Details are still sketchy, but the rumor going around is that the WGA strike is over.  DeadlineHollywoodDaily:

So I’ve just been told that Peter Chernin did make it to Super Bowl XLII after all. (Heck, it’s News Corp’s Fox Sports televising it, and Phoenix is only an hour’s corporate jet ride away.) And the mogul is telling Hollywood folk there that "the strike is over", according to emails coming fast and furious out of that venue.

Meanwhile, Variety says:

The Writers Guild of America and studio brass made a breakthrough on the key issue of Internet streaming in a lengthy Friday session — generating cautious optimism that an end to the 3-month-old writers strike may soon be at hand. 

I’m not gonna pretend I know all the nuances of this story and I’m not gonna pretend I care.  Everyone who makes more money than me can pretty much lick my balls, unless they’re inviting me on their yacht (which I will pronounce "yacked"). Bottom line, it looks like pretty soon stoned jackasses like James Franco here (in honor of this video, i rescind any bad things I said about James Franco) actors won’t have to come up with their own lines.  And that’s a beautiful thing, like the laughter of a child, or the clank of a blacksmith’s hammer.  

This is Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane’s contribution to the ongoing writer’s strike negotiations.  

My first concern about it, when I discovered that the premise was that the movie producers were represented by a group of puppets, was how this one joke was going last all three minutes and 27 seconds.

But hey, who better to milk a joke than the Family Guy guy?  And you know what, he almost won me over with the Jew arguing with a monkey-squirrel. Though I think if I were to let a species hybrid represent me at a board meeting, I’d go with a rhino-badger or a shark-falcon.  No one can hold his own against a Jew like a shark-falcon.

^{(Thanks to "RoboPanda" for the tip, and apologies on the shortage of posts today. We’ll be back on track tomorrow.  You’ll be able to tell by the back-on-track marks.)}

In an interview with Hollywood Insider, economist Jack Kyser puts the total cost of the Writer’s Strike to the LA economy at $1.4 billion.  Among other things, the cancellation of all those Golden Globe after parties had an effect.

And the parties account for a big piece of the pie?
Oh yeah. It’s a huge impact. We count at least five parties that have been canceled, and that comes to about $2.5 million.

Good heavens! And that figure probably doesn’t include the hit taken by Jerry Bruckheimer’s coke dealer! 

What about the Academy Awards?
We’ve done more research on that, and that’s around $130 million, and it has unexpected impacts. For example, there’s a firm in Los Angeles called ABS by Alan Schwartz, and what he does is knock-offs of the most popular gowns on the red carpet, and so if there’s no red carpet, there’s not business for Alan Schwartz.

Oh, that poor man! What’s the world coming to when the knock-off gown makers can’t make a living?  Next you’ll tell me the mini-chihuahua breeders are having trouble making ends meet.  But tell us, Mr. EW Interviewer Guy, where does the ripple effect end??!!!?

Do you think this is going to have any affect on the presidential candidates?

Oh for Christ’s sake. You know there wasn’t even a hint of irony in that.

And he’s right, too.  It’s like the celebrity butterfly effect.  First the Hollywood stars don’t get to party.  Next, all their suck-ass assistants and PR reps are out of work.  Then the jewelers and the limo drivers and the jeweled limo drivers.  And it goes right on down the line until some poor child in Africa’s hopes are crushed, as he realizes he’ll never feel the buzz of notification from his Blackberry or hear the sweet lilt of Madonna’s fake accent – his adopted mother who never was.

It’s a sad day, gang. A sad day indeed. 

Due to the fact that there’s still no vacuous mouth-breather union, Carson Daly never has to worry about crossing any picket lines. But the fact that his show, Last Call With Carson Daly was the first late night talk show back on the air while the Writer’s Guild strike still halts all new film scripts and TV shows, apparently pissed some people off. 

During an interview with… Jerry Rice, a WGA member incognito in the audience heckled Daly, claiming he “needed a writer” to ask better questions.
…A clearly disconcerted Daly asked whether Rice would be willing to start the interview over again, which he was. After reintroducing Rice to the audience… Daly was horrified when another incognito writer stood up and loudly declared: “I feel so bad for the striking writers! Can I please leave?” The scribe also pointed out Daly’s use of cue cards and asked who was writing the show now. NBC security, still expelling the first troublemaker, instantly scrambled back into the studio, then hurriedly ejected three more WGA members from the audience.
…Daly, now visibly rattled, had no impromptu comment to offer the perplexed audience.
..After that, someone associated with the production took the stage to declare, “Anyone else interrupting the show will be prosecuted” and urged “any other striking writers” in the crowd to “leave now.” Over 20 people — though some sources say just 5 — scattered throughout the stands dutifully shuffled out. The audience gasped. Daly paled. Ironically, one member of this departing group had been given a prize moments earlier for being “such a great audience member.” The award was a gift certificate to El Pollo Loco. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Hey man, the only thing crazy about El Pollo Loco is the taste – it’s crazy good!  Frankly, the most surprising part of this story is that Carson Daly has a show. It must be really good – Johnny Carson sent people to Arby’s all the time, didn’t he?  El Pollo Loco is like Arby’s, but spicier. (Watch the official video of the WGA strike here)