Ugh. In case you missed it, a couple weeks ago, Drew from KSK wrote a great article on the state of the ultimate press tour cliché, when directors or producers say “Even though on the surface it seems like it’s a movie about [specific premise], it’s really about [meaningless abstract concept].”

This is a disease among filmmakers and studios at this point. No wonder movies this year have sucked so badly. No movie is ever about ANYTHING. “Moneyball” can’t just be a baseball movie: God forbid it alienate people who don’t like baseball. No, no. It has to be about “a man in crisis,” or “new ways of thinking,” or some other ludicrously broad phrase that isn’t a real idea. When I go to see “Real Steel” (and I won’t), I’m going because I want to see a movie about BOXING ROBOTS. I don’t want to see a movie about fathers and sons. There are fathers and sons all over the place. If the movie is all about fathers and sons, then I’m gonna feel shortchanged out of all the robot boxing I was shown in the trailer. [Yahoo/TheProjector]

This becomes relevant to the story at hand, because once again a director is making a film about zombies (in this case Marc Forster, adapting Max Brooks’ World War Z), and once again, the zombies aren’t actually zombies at all. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that they’re actually a vague metaphor for something or other.

“Zombies are a really interesting metaphor to play with. I thought they were great in the 70s, when George Romero worked with them, it’s sort of the statement of consumerism, and so on, but also in the 70s it was a time of change, when the zombies were very popular. And I think right now we are living in a time of change, and I think that’s maybe why zombies are popular again.” [video via Collider]

Did you get that? In the 70s, zombies were a statement on consumerism, but also an allegory for a time of change, which is why zombies were popular in the 70s and now, which are both times of change, as opposed to all the great periods of stasis throughout history, like, say, the 80s, or the 1360s. Hey, if zombies are such a great metaphor for so many different things, maybe they’re actually a pretty sh*tty metaphor, has anyone ever thought of that? I mean, shouldn’t a metaphor have some specific qualities? And not be some shapeless abstraction that can be applied to any hip buzzword, like “WAR,” “CHANGE,” “THE ECONOMY,” or “HAM SANDWICH?” Maybe zombies are really just unfeeling sacks of raw meat that are fun to watch explode, like the Kardashians.

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I’m on the fence when it comes to posting set videos from films in production. On the one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to watch unedited footage from a weird angle of a scene that might not even end up in the finished product and draw conclusions about the film based on it. On the other hand, it’s already out there, and my site isn’t the only one on the internet (thank God for that). Suffice to say, I ain’t allergic to cash money SKEET SKEET, so the video is after the jump. Watch it if you want, you’re a grown-ass blog reader.  Here’s the word from the source:

A friend of ours was lucky enough to bag himself a gig as an extra on the set of Brad Pitt’s new film World War Z, based on the best selling book by Max Brooks, while it was being shot in Glasgow.
He also advised us to ignore all the fanboy chatter over the alleged plot changes from the book, he assured us that from the scenes he took part in and watched this movie will definitely be worth the wait. [HMSFriday]

It must be really hard being an extra in Glasgow. (*pulls out bullhorn*) “AWRRAI, YA COONTZ! THERE COOMES A TAIME, WHEN, IT’S RREASSURE… THE BLIND KIDS, ‘E FAIRRLY DEED AN ECHIDNA! GOO! GOO!”  What? What did he say? Jesus Christ, I thought these people spoke English.

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I don’t know why you’d want to do this, but I’ve seen enough Brazilian fart fetish porno to know that there’s no accounting for taste, so I’m here to report, for any interested parties, that you can watch the shooting of Brad Pitt’s World War Z movie (which is kind of based on the book but not really) today via the Glasgow City Council’s helpful webcams. They’ll be filming all week in Glasgow, which will be playing the part of Philadelphia for some reason. Which I assume will be accomplished by having a team of extras chuck D-batteries at Brad Pitt, and by building an art museum that no one will know is there until they put a statue of Rocky next to it. ZING!

Here’s the webcam link again. Thanks to Bryce for the tip and banner picture.

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It was only a matter of time before we got this news, and since Vince refuses to put down his Cormac S. Thompson novels and read “World War Z” like I’ve told him to, I get to bring you all the bad news. Currently filming in Malta, World War Z will not follow the plot of the Max Brooks “Oral History of the Zombie War.” Instead, it will tell the story of Brad Pitt, ‘dude who does stuff.’

The story revolves around United Nations employee Gerry Lane (Pitt), who traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatening to decimate humanity itself. Enos plays Gerry’s wife Karen Lane; Kertesz is his comrade in arms, Segen. (Via Slash Film)

*deep sigh, wraps tape around eyeglasses, inserts pocket protector, pours glass of YooHoo, hits inhaler*

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NERD RANT!!!

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I haven’t read it yet, but everyone who has seems to be sporting major nerd wood that Max Brooks’ zombie war oral history World War Z is coming to the big screen (I just have regular wood because Brad Pitt’s in it). Directed by Marc Forster and scheduled for a 2012 release, some pictures from the set in Falmouth, Cornwall, UK (hee hee! foul mouth cornhole!) hit over the weekend, along with the news that Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston would have a “small but flashy” role in the film. I hope that means his dong falls out while he runs through the background

Feeling the pinch of a cold British summer morning, Brad appeared wrapped up on board the yellow SD Salmoor where most of the filming is taking place. The admiralty salvage vessel was covered in wax and fake icicles plus a hoard of locals that were signed up as extras. The crew set sail to a nearby location and returned banging weapons and hollering for the camera. [SplashNews]

I don’t know what’s going on in these, except that they seem to be carrying weapons and wearing elbow pads. The pads are probably wise, I’ve heard it gets slippery up there on the poop deck. Oh what, now you’re going to tell me I’m immature? Just because I crammed three wiener jokes and two poop jokes into this post? Whatever, man. I don’t respond to name calling. Seems like you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.

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