This is the trailer for The Messenger, which played at Sundance earlier this year and will get a theatrical release starting November 13th. From first-time director Oren Moverman, who previously wrote the Bob Dylan-themed, I-love-the-smell-of-my-own-farts film I’m Not There, it stars Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster as two soldiers whose job it is to notify dead soldiers’ next of kin. Harrelson plays Foster’s friend and mentor, a lá Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie in The Hurt Locker. I’m picturing grief, loss, crying, sobbing, slapping — basically two hours of flapjacks and bubblegum and kittens in sunbeams. Though if your death messenger really was Woody Harrelson, I think it’d probably go down like this:
Jew Zombie Killers Can’t Hump: A Zombieland Review
Zombieland is a road movie about two of the last survivors of the zombie plague, who don’t really have anywhere to go. They’re instead driven by their desires: Woody Harrelson’s “Tallahassee” a desire to find the last Twinkies on Earth, and Jesse Eisenberg’s “Columbus” to finally kiss a girl. It’s a sort of funny premise for a sort of funny movie. A movie that turns out to be a lot like the Twinkie — tasty enough, but provides little nutritional value, and after you’re done you feel kind of dirty. It’s pleasant going down*, but you get the sense that the whole thing was ultra processed, created using proven science formulas to manipulate the consumer’s senses in a specific way. Crap, this is a really good analogy, someone call USA Today.
This is the first full trailer for Defendor, from Canadian writer/director Peter Stebbings, about a wannabe superhero, starring Woody Harrelson and Kat Dennings (who, sidenote, might be dating Baby Goose).
Reality intersects with delusion in the mind of Arthur Poppington (Woody Harrelson), a regular man who adopts a superhero persona known as Defendor, and combs the city streets at night in search of his arch-enemy, Captain Industry. In his attempts to combat crime and bring down Captain Industry, a drug and weapons dealer who he mistakenly blames for the death of his mother, Defendor ends up befriending a young prostitute, Katerina Debrofkowitz (Kat Dennings). Armed with unconventional weapons of mass confusion, aided by his new friend, and putting his life on the line, Defendor proves that everyone is capable of making a difference. [via Twitch]
This is the newest trailer for Zombieland (if you’re keeping score at home, this is international version — I posted the R-rated version a few weeks ago). It stars Jesse Eisenberg as a shy, cerebral neurotic who teams up with Woody Harrelson, an impulsive, slovenly redneck, to kill zombies. Their relationship kind of reminds me of me and my old roommate. He’d always be on my ass about not cleaning my dishes, and I’d always be punching him in the stomach for being Jewish. Also, we fought zombies. Anyway, I’m trying not to waste too much breath on this movie because it looks like a ball of cliches mooshed together and deep fried in unoriginality and then dipped in Woody Harrelson. “Dude! It’ll be funny because they’ll kill zombies! Dude! It’ll be cool ’cause he’ll wear sunglasses. And then he’ll get hit in the head with a golf ball!” No. Just, no.
(This spy gear doubles as a sweet bong.)
Below is a clip from Canadian superhero drama Defendor. Yeah, they actually spelled it that way, which is odd, because I assumed Canadians would spell it defendeauxr. Woody Harrelson plays a vigilantee with no superpowers wearing a homemade superhero costume who befriends a teenaged prostitute (Kat Dennings). Oh, sure, he does it and it’s slightly endearing, but when I put on a cape and long johns and chat up teenaged sex trade workers, I get disinvited from Thanksgiving dinner. That’s fine. Whatever. I don’t like oyster stuffing and football anyway. Dawson and I will have our own Thanksgiving dinner at Arby’s. You’re not invited, Mom!
