He flip you

Back in 2008, Universal replaced director Mark Romanek with Joe Johnston just a few months before Wolf Man (starring Benicio Del Toro) was set to begin shooting. The film turned out to be what some analysts call “a beeg fawken piece of sheet”, and ended up earning $139 million worldwide on an estimated $150 million budget. (Johnston collected his check and moved onto Captain America, which also wasn’t very good, but I’m sure he’ll go on to direct even more mediocre movies, because Hollywood is apparently a lot like Wall Street). Then in June, we heard Universal was planning to reboot the movie they made barely a year before and call it “Werewolf,” because wolves are so hot right now thanks to that twink-ish alpaca, Taylor Lautner.

The good news is that that reboot/remake/sequel/reimagining/whatever you want to call it is now going straight to DVD. From the press release:

There’s no safe place to hide as the all-new supernatural Untitled Werewolf Thriller begins principal photography in and around Bucharest, Romania. Universal celebrates its storied history of creatures and horror with an exhilarating original adventure that embraces the popular cultural resurgence of the age-old werewolf myth. Breathtaking action and nail-biting suspense collide as an army of bounty hunters descend on a tiny hamlet in search of the most terrifying monster they have ever fought. The latest entry in the hugely successful DVD Originals™ line from Universal 1440 Entertainment, a production entity of Universal Studios Home Entertainment, Untitled Werewolf Thriller will be released on Blu-ray™, DVD, Digital Download and On Demand in time for Halloween 2012. |Slashfilm|

It will be directed by Louis Morneau, whose credits include such blockbusters as Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead; The Hitcher II: I’ve Been Waiting; and Bats, and it’s set to star even more people you’ve never heard of. To make a long story short, it’s a positive setback for the current Hollywood push towards reboots and remakes that’s been going on for the last few years. Though I do enjoy that they were able to write that entire press release, complete with full cast, synopsis, and release date, before they even bothered to give it a title.

“Try our new artisan hot pockets! Developed by Hormel and celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck to be spicy enough for a man, pH-balanced for a woman. We call it ‘Untitled Beef Tube.’ Coming to gas stations and convenience stores this spring.”

Del Toro with his agent

In 2008, Universal replaced director Mark Romanek with Joe Johnston a few months before shooting began on Wolfman, and had David Self do a rewrite.  The film came out in 2010 and was a critical and commercial failure (budget: $150 million, worldwide gross: $139 million). Then Marvel hired Johnston to direct Captain America so no one can say Hollywood doesn’t learn from its mistakes.  But Universal had planned Wolfman as the first of a lucrative franchise, and stupid ideas die hard (possible title for next Die Hard sequel?).  So now, instead of the sequel they had planned, they’re “rebooting” the Wolfman.  Which, again, came out last year. They’re considering calling it “Werewolf.”

Universal were considering doing a sequel to the recent – god awful – ”The Wolfman”, which featured Benicio del Toro as the sharp-clawed Talbot – that’s no longer the case. Michael Tabb’s script is being rewritten and reworked to be an original film – almost a reboot of the classic Universal monster movie series.
If anything, this new film – they’ve yet to decide on a title though I hear “Werewolf” is popular -will share a link to the original George Waggner film (from 1941) rather than Joe Johnston’s ill-fated 2009 remake.
As I said, the Universal project is currently undergoing a rewrite; it is likely headed before the cameras in the Fall. The studio is said to be talking to prospective directors over the next couple of weeks. Casting will begin shortly thereafter. |Moviehole|

Maybe get Joe Johnston to direct?  I hear he has a lot of juice right now.  And instead of “Werewolf,” maybe call it “Taylor Lautner.”

(Aw, she thinks the book is made of chocolate.)

I want to believe this is a hoax, but after Fred and Sharon and Rooster and Trish, nothing’s too strange to believe anymore. So a supposed Twilight fan calling herself Kayla Patterson recently sent a letter to LatinoReview regarding Universal’s blatant thievery of werewolves (which Twilight obviously invented) in their movie Wolf Man.  For shame, Universal!  How dare you steal ethnic temptation wolves from the nice white lady!  *rolls up newspaper* Here’s an excerpt:

This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remakingof the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a “were wolf”. I don’t see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet*? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is “supposed” to be the wolf? [Check out the rest of her rant at LatinoReview]

Frankly, I’m shocked someone so devoted to the literature of Stephenie Meyer could be so bad at grammar.  I mean Kayla was bad. Very bad. So bad at grammar; it was frightening.

You know, it’s stuff like this that makes you wonder if maybe the Chinese are onto something with the whole drowning-girl-babies-in-the-river thing.

[Props to GammaSquad for finding this]

*Ethnic wolves hate the Silver Bullet.  They prefer Tecate.

(It’s like the artist was inside my head!)

Most people know Danny Elfman as the famous composer responsible for the music on Tim Burton movies and The Simpson‘s theme song — though to me and Roman Polanski, he’ll always be the guy who sang “I Love Little Girls“.  Elfman recently composed an entire score for the new Wolf Man starring Benicio Del Toro, but according to Cinemusic, none of it will be used.  And this is after the film already lost original director Mark Romanek because of creative differences.

Elfman has already written and recorded what, by all accounts was a traditional, grandly gothic effort a la Kilar’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Ultimately, it appears at this point that none of it will be used in the film. Rather than have Elfman come back and make changes due to major picture rehauls (and likely with his hands full scoring Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, he is unavailable), Cinemusic has confirmed that Paul Haslinger (Death Race 2000) will step in and record an entirely brand new score.

Firstshowing claims the change is due to Universal not liking Elfman’s score, even though he was new director Joe Johnston’s top choice:

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In their ongoing quest to market a promising film badly, Universal decided to release the new trailer for The Wolf Man exactly one hour after the Avatar trailer was scheduled to be released.  The trailer is below (HQ copy here), and a whole slew of new images are available at LatinoReview.

The Wolf Man stars Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving, the triumvirate known in some circles (read: nowhere) as Scowly, Scary, and Forehead.  The first director (Mark Romanek) dropped out and was replaced by Joe Johnston (Hidalgo, Jumanji), known in most circles as “Who?”.

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