Just when I thought Back to the Future month was finally over, Robert Zemeckis is back in the news.  Word is he’s in “early talks” to direct a live-action remake of Wizard of Oz using the original script (because who wasn’t clamoring for that?). Last we heard, Zemeckis was attached to a time-travel project, but my guess is he dropped that as soon as he smelled the chance to make creepy motion-capture flying monkeys.  (Is Crispin Glover busy?)

Warner Bros is in early talks with Robert Zemeckis to direct a live-action remake of the The Wizard of Oz and plans to use the original script from the 1939 classic. Warner Bros owns the screenplay because Ted Turner bought it along with the MGM library before Warner Bros bought Turner’s empire. This latest Oz twist comes as Disney is trying very hard to mount The Great And Powerful Oz [the Sam Raimi 3D prequel for which they want Robert Downey].

The original Wizard of Oz script had a total of 19 writers (seems not much has changed in Hollywood) with many of them uncredited, including Bert Lahr who played the film’s Cowardly Lion. This wouldn’t be the first hugely high-profile remake for Zemeckis; he’s in the middle of a Yellow Submarine animated redux for Disney, scheduled for a 2012 release. [Deadline]

Wait, so first he does three motion-capture animated pictures, which are basically to animation what tracing is to drawing, and now he’s doing a remake without re-writing the script?  If Brett Ratner ever chokes to death on a Totino’s pizza roll, Robert Zemeckis will be the laziest man in Hollywood.

According to Deadline, Disney made a deal last night with Sam Raimi (who last dropped out of Sony’s Spider-Man 4, prompting them to greenlight a muppet-babies reboot of the whole franchise) to direct a 3D prequel to Wizard of Oz.  In other news, every time I type “3D prequel to Wizard of Oz” I feel like my nose should be in a pile of cocaine.

It’s a coup for new studio bosses Rich Ross and Sean Bailey, who are rolling the dice big-time by hoping that this pic will be a global hit like the billion-dollar-grossing Alice In Wonderland. Downey will play the Wizard Of Oz before he became the Wizard Of Oz circa the 1939 iconic film: he’s in fact a circus wrangler transported by tornado to the mysterious world of Oz where he gets mistaken for a know-it-all.  Now the only question is whether Sam Raimi can do what Tim Burton just did.

Dear Sam Raimi: Please do NOT do what Tim Burton just did.  Anyway, knowing Raimi’s filming origin stories for all the Oz characters just makes me hope he’ll go back to Evil Dead/Drag Me to Hell mode and shoot a scene where Robert Downey RIPS OUT A LION’S F*CKING HEART!! OOH WAH-AH  AH AH!

Yeah… That would be pretty boss.  (*spits Skoal into Gatorade bottle, adjusts crotch*)

Back in 2007, Spawn-creator Todd McFarlane made a line of toys called The Twisted Land of Oz.  He wanted to do a movie version, a dark re-imagining of Wizard of Oz — Dakota Fanning was rumored to star.  Now, apparently, that project is dead, but according to Pajiba, a family-friendly Oz sequel developed parallel to McFarlane’s version, Oz: The Return to Emerald City, is moving forward at WB. From Pajiba‘s source:

It’s a modern-day sequel. The story centers on Dorothy Neil, a bright and ambitious young lawyer for a prestigious law firm in Chicago. Neil is the grand-daughter of Dorothy Gale, who is now an old woman living in Kansas and telling her tales about her time in the land of Oz to a new generation of kids. However, trouble is afoot in Oz, as a new witch is destroying the magic that keeps the entire place running. While babysitting her boss’ kid, the kid and Dorothy Neil are brought back to Oz and united with the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow and tasked with killing an evil witch and restoring order in Oz.

Huh, well that… certainly… sounds like… a movie.  Look, all I’m saying is if a house landed on a witch’s top half, but her bottom half was just laying there with her dress pulled up… I’d probably go to town.  I mean why waste it, right?  What.  What.  Oh sure, I’m the weird one.

It’s been 70 years this month since the first Wizard of Oz movie with Judy Garland came out.  Now Todd McFarlane (Spawn) is co-producing a reboot and it’s rumored Dakota Fanning may sign on to play Dorothy.  I would rather watch Wishmagic: The Horse That Wrote Poems than any Oz movie not involving prison sex.

Daily Express reports:

But the new movie will be “darker and more action-packed” according to one Warner Bros executive.
It is the brainchild of producer Basil Iwanyk [Ed. - that's practically my porn name, Basil Iwantdyk], who explained: “It will be set in the present day and feature Dorothy’s granddaughter.”
Co-producer Todd McFarlane said: “You’ve still got Dorothy trapped in an odd place, but she’s much closer to the Ripley character from Alien than a helpless singing girl.” [...]
Terence Doyle, editor of British Film Magazine, said: “We’re perfectly placed to make it here. We have some of the best special technicians in the world and, post Harry Potter, they’ll all be twiddling their thumbs.”

I’ll be back in a bit.  I’ve got to jet over to England so I can cut off some thumbs.

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