Oh, America. Every time I think you couldn’t get any dumber, you do something… THAT TOTALLY REDEEMS YOURSELF! [via Clip Nation]

MORNING LINKSRemember our buddy Jason Dove? He’s emceeing a 49th anniversary of the JFK assassination event featuring some pretty heavy-duty speakers. If you’re in San Fran tomorrow, come check it out. |JFK49|

Red Dawn Review: The Tipping Point for Lazy Remakes |Film Drunk|

Pic [via Fck Yeah Dementia]

How To Cage Someone At Work: One Redditor’s Ultimate Guide To Nic Cage Office Pranking |UPROXX|

An Investigation: Is This The Weakest Season For New Shows In A Decade? |Warming Glow|

The With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group: Go Home Matt Ryan, You’re Drunk |With Leather|

A Steampunk Cosplay Gallery |Gamma Squad|

10 Big Daddy Kane Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

Before There Was Brady: A Definitive Gallery Of The NFL’s Greatest Bro, Joe Namath |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

NBC Tried To Hide Ke$ha’s Butt, Probably Should’ve Been More Concerned With The Fisting |The Superficial|

27 Everyday Things You Never Knew Had Names |Buzzfeed|

4 Differences Between Canadian and American Thanksgiving |Mental Floss|

Cameron Diaz Represents All Women |Videogum|

Honest Thanksgiving Menu |College Humor|

Anderson Cooper Had A Gay Hissy Fit On Twitter |IDLYITW|

Apparently there are 20 other “must-see” movies this winter besides The Hobbit. Who knew? |Fark|

‘This Is 40′ Red-Band Affirms Megan Fox’s Breasts Are Great |Screen Junkies|

Ryan Gosling Does a Mean Impression of “American Horror Story’s” Bloody Face on the Only God Forgives Movie Poster |Pajiba|

The 6 Best Pixar Vocal Performances |Unreality|

Two-Thirds of Porn is Watched At Work, Claims Fun Study |Brobible|

Batman Can’t Stop Thinking About Sex |High Definite|

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If Mike Myers had played Michael Myers. It makes almost… too much sense. [via Screen Junkies]

MORNING LINKS
Arnold Schwarzenegger Looks Badass In ‘Ten’ |Film Drunk|

More Juggalo Vision Quests from David Gborie, and Werner Herzog hypnotizing chickens. |Frotcast|

A pretty succinct synopsis of The Wizard of Oz. [via Brooklyn Mutt]

The Best Fan-Made Halloween Costumes From 12 Of TV’s Finest Shows
|Warming Glow|

A Collection Of The Worst Band Shirts You’ll Ever Have The Misfortune Of
Seeing |UPROXX|

The Air Sex Championships Returned To Austin And Oh God, They Let Me
Judge Again |With Leather|

Hold Me I’m Scared: The Best 80s Horror Movie VHS Covers |Gamma Squad|

…And Then They Asked Alicia Keys To Pick Jay-Z Or Nas. |Smoking Section|

THE BEN WEAR STRIPES. THE BEN THROW TO STRIPE MAN
|Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Darwin’s exceptions |theChive|

Impressive Fully-Functional Instagram Costume |Buzzfeed|

Christina Aguilera Calls Bloggers ‘Buttf-ck People’ Who Write ‘Hate Sh-t.’ Alright,
Who Told? |The Superficial|

19 Confounding Discrepancies Between American and British English |Mental Floss|

Is This Officially Hollywood’s Dumbest Idea? |Videogum|

Lena Dunham’s First Time |Daily What|

Louis C.K. Handles Screaming Audience Member Surprisingly Well |HuffPost Comedy|

Fifteen great Halloween TV episodes |Fark|

Steve Jobs’ Yacht |High Definite|

Wes Anderson’s Eight Best Movie Outfits |Unreality|

Remember the Time the Second Most Likable Guy in Hollywood Pimp Slapped
the Most Likable Guy in Hollywood? |Pajiba|

Jessica Biel’s Best GIF Ever |Brobible|

How to Watch TV Illegally Online |College Humor|

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Just a reminder, I’ve got my first of three stand-up shows this month TONIGHT at Milk Bar in San Francisco at 8 pm. Stop by if you’re near the Haight. We’ll party Super Gangnam style. (Probably the best music video ever).

MORNING LINKS
SF comedian Matt Lieb stops by to talk drugs, Armond White, TDKR spoilers, Tony Robbins, and the Shrek-looking Twilight fan. |Frotcast|

See Vince bring the funny tonight at Milk Bar. |Events|

Read This: Patton Oswalt’s Keynote Address at the Just For Laughs
Festival |Film Drunk|

The Buseys of Oz [via Videogum]

Twitter Suspends Journalist Who’s Been Ripping NBC To Shreds |UPROXX|

Breaking Badass Power Rankings: ‘Hazard Pay’ |Warming Glow|

Your Sarcastic Guide To Alleged Plot Holes In ‘The Dark Knight Rises’
|Gamma Squad|

Dallas Cowboys Glory Holes: A Retrospective |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Olivia Munn Pulls Her Eyelashes Out Because She’s A Crazy Person |The Superficial|

What If Ryan Kalil’s Super Bowl Guarantee Inspired More Players? |With Leather|

Lindsay Lohan Crashed Katy Perry’s Party Then Stalked Her |IDLYITW|

Kat Dennings Is Christina Hendricks 2.0 |Buzzfeed|

The best Gary Busey meets Wizard of Oz fan art you’ll see today |Daily What|

The Things You Hear on Vacation |College Humor|

5 Medical Innovations of the Civil War |Mental Floss|

As Gotham fell, the Gotham Gazette continued their award winning
coverage. |Fark|

The Nolan Brunette: An Examination of the Director’s Most Commonly Used
Trope |Pajiba|

Seven Actresses Not Afraid To Pick Incredibly Challenging Roles |Unreality|

Important: Paulina Gretzky Is a Sorority Girl In Latest Instagram Pics
|BroBible|

Brainwashed by the Westboro Baptist Church |High Definite|

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Just when I thought Back to the Future month was finally over, Robert Zemeckis is back in the news.  Word is he’s in “early talks” to direct a live-action remake of Wizard of Oz using the original script (because who wasn’t clamoring for that?). Last we heard, Zemeckis was attached to

Warner Bros is in early talks with Robert Zemeckis to direct a live-action remake of the The Wizard of Oz and plans to use the original script from the 1939 classic. Warner Bros owns the screenplay because Ted Turner bought it along with the MGM library before Warner Bros bought Turner’s empire. This latest Oz twist comes as Disney is trying very hard to mount The Great And Powerful Oz [the Sam Raimi 3D prequel for which they want Robert Downey].

The original Wizard of Oz script had a total of 19 writers (seems not much has changed in Hollywood) with many of them uncredited, including Bert Lahr who played the film’s Cowardly Lion. This wouldn’t be the first hugely high-profile remake for Zemeckis; he’s in the middle of a Yellow Submarine animated redux for Disney, scheduled for a 2012 release. [Deadline]

Wait, so first he does three motion-capture animated pictures, which are basically to animation what tracing is to drawing, and now he’s doing a remake without re-writing the script?  If Brett Ratner ever chokes to death on a Totino’s pizza roll, Robert Zemeckis will be the laziest man in Hollywood.

According to Deadline, Disney made a deal last night with Sam Raimi (who last dropped out of Sony’s Spider-Man 4, prompting them to greenlight a muppet-babies reboot of the whole franchise) to direct a 3D prequel to Wizard of Oz.  In other news, every time I type “3D prequel to Wizard of Oz” I feel like my nose should be in a pile of cocaine.

It’s a coup for new studio bosses Rich Ross and Sean Bailey, who are rolling the dice big-time by hoping that this pic will be a global hit like the billion-dollar-grossing Alice In Wonderland. Downey will play the Wizard Of Oz before he became the Wizard Of Oz circa the 1939 iconic film: he’s in fact a circus wrangler transported by tornado to the mysterious world of Oz where he gets mistaken for a know-it-all.  Now the only question is whether Sam Raimi can do what Tim Burton just did.

Dear Sam Raimi: Please do NOT do what Tim Burton just did.  Anyway, knowing Raimi’s filming origin stories for all the Oz characters just makes me hope he’ll go back to Evil Dead/Drag Me to Hell mode and shoot a scene where Robert Downey RIPS OUT A LION’S F*CKING HEART!! OOH WAH-AH  AH AH!

Yeah… That would be pretty boss.  (*spits Skoal into Gatorade bottle, adjusts crotch*)