Will Smith, who famously turned down the starring role in Tarantino’s Django Unchained because it didn’t fit his brand image, is now in talks to star in and produce a remake of Sam Peckinpah’s infamously violent 1969 western The Wild Bunch. If he doesn’t stick one of his dumb wiener kids in this it will be a miracle.

Smith would produce through his Overbrook Entertainment banner along with Jerry Weintraub, who recently worked with Smith on “The Karate Kid” remake.
The original “Wild Bunch” followed a group of aging outlaws that plan one last score on the Texas-Mexico border as the traditional American West changes around them in 1913.
A modern remake involving cartels south of the border, the “Wild Bunch” reboot is expected to follow a disgraced D.E.A. agent who assembles a team to go after a Mexican drug lord and his fortune.
The studio and producing team are currently looking to hire a new writer for the project, which provides the opportunity to surround Smith with a strong ensemble. |TheWrap|

That should be reassuring news, that the guy currently starring in an M. Night Shyamalan movie is the one choosing the writer to update a classic. To be more specific, a guy starring in an M. Night Shyamalan movie where “humans haven’t set foot on Earth in over 1,000 years, where everything has evolved to kill humans.” Hoooooooooooooo, boy.

It’s not that I dislike Will Smith or that I even think he’s a bad actor, it’s just that he’s such a milquetoast dildo that I imagine his version of The Wild Bunch looking basically like that minivan commercial with the little kid choosing his football team.

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Will Smith and his wiener kid are starring in an M. Night Shyamalan movie this summer, so the Will Smith’s-wiener-kids news cycle is really starting to heat up. The latest news is that Jaden, for his 15th birthday, wants to be emancipated. From the slavery of being treated as a public manifestation of his father’s fame, presumably, which doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request. Jeez, you buy the kid’s way into the movie business, and the next thing you know he’s getting a big head.

Will explains that Jaden, who will be celebrating his 15th birthday in July and is close pals with 19-year-old Justin Bieber, asked for a very unique gift.
“He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ‘Ooh,’” Will explained.

“I told him ‘you’re only 15, you don’t have a rep yet.’”

“That’s the backlash. On the other side, if kids just want to have command of their lives, I understand.”
“We generally don’t believe in punishment,” he says. “From the time Jaden was five or six, we would sit him down, and all he has to do is be able to explain why what he did was the right thing for his life. I think it’s a much more difficult question to ask someone —’Why was that right?’ — than to try to show them why it was wrong.

“Nobody wants to be wrong, all parts of yourself fight like crazy to not be wrong. So I’ll say to Jaden, ‘Why was that the right thing to do for your life?’ and if he can explain why kicking his sister in the chest was the right thing to do, we can see to it that he understands that it wasn’t so smart.” [Sun]

Oooh, please, give us more parenting advice, guy whose 14-year-old son hangs out with Justin Bieber.

In any case, we’ve got an exclusive clip from After Earth after the jump.

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BAWK BAWK. “Willie Beamen, come quick, the world needs you!” “Not now, little girl, I’m in disguise.”

I used to hate Sony’s Annie remake on account of it being another Will Smith vanity project starring one of his obnoxious little fame avatar children. But Willow got too old to play the lead, and Quvenzhane Wallis (I just won Scrabble!) from Beasts of the Southern Wild was cast. I guess I don’t hate it as much now, but I really hope Hollywood doesn’t ruin that adorable little girl’s life. Anyway, now Jamie Foxx has been cast as Daddy Warbucks. Only they’re calling him “Benjamin Stacks” in this one. Get it? Because it’s an African-American remake, and “stacking Benjamins” is African-American talk for making lots of money. I heard they tried to do an African-American remake of The Rainmaker but… you know what, I’m not even going to finish this joke.

Jamie Foxx is in negotiations to star opposite Quvenzhane Wallis in Annie, the update of the classic comic strip-turned-musical that Sony is making with producers Will Smithand Jay-Z.

Foxx would play a character named Benjamin Stacks, a variation of the Daddy Warbucks personage, who takes in the spunky orphan girl being played by Wallis. (You know he’s rich because his name literally means stacks of $100 bills, aka Benjamins.)

I admire the restraint it took not to spell it “Benjamin Staxx.” That never would’ve happened had Vin Diesel been producing.

The Django Unchained star has received an offer from the studio and sources say his team has begun to negotiate.

Will Gluck is directing the project, which has a host of producers: Smith and his Overbrook Entertainment banner partner James Lassiter, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Jay-Z. Also producing are Jay Brown and Tyran “Ty Ty” Smith through Marcy Media. [THR]

This project used to be fun to make fun of at least, but now it’s like a yawn wrapped in shrugs. I guess that’s a good thing, because if I had to watch one of Will Smith’s millionaire brats rapping about her “hard knock life,” I might’ve had an aneurysm. “At least he died watching something he hated,” people would say.

I won’t mince words, I’m a huge fan of dopey voiceover work. You probably don’t remember this, but a few years ago, Vin Diesel starred in a movie called Babylon AD, and the voiceover in that trailer was so dumb that it inspired me to write fan-fiction with it. But there’s a new contender after the dumb-talk title, After Earth, starring Will Smith and one of his dumb wiener kids, the boy. While you won’t find “From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan…” anywhere near this one (marketing dept finally learned their lesson, it seems), the hard-boiled, half-baked voice over leaves little doubt as to the authorship.

QUICK, TO THE EXPOSITION!

We used to celebrate our planet, once a year, on Earth Day.

As BadassDigest points out, the marketing tie-in here is that Monday was Earth Day, making yesterday… you guessed it, AFTER EARTH DAY. Who cooked this up, Rebecca Black? And Sunday comes after…

But one day… wasn’t enough to save it.

MESSAGE. Yeah, I bet you think you’re doing something, all content to plant your Earth day trees in your Tom’s shoes. Lotta good that’s gonna do you when you’re staring at Will Smith’s dumb face on a space pod after the ice caps melt. Take a look at yourself in the mirror, society.

In 2071, we were forced to leave our world, and find a new home. We never thought we’d return. Crash landed.

I like the “crash landed” part, because it literally describes the exact thing we just watched happen. Also, how bad is this CG?

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