When the New Yorker’s Twitter account announced that the cast of Arrested Development would be reuniting for 9 to 10 new episodes followed by a movie, I thought it was either the movie blogging equivalent of “MAN LANDS ON MOON” or the most epic troll job in New Yorker history†. After all the times they’ve already convinced us to kick the football, I’m still not sure I believe it, but all signs point to it being real. The short version is that they’re planning nine to ten “where are they now”-style episodes, with Showtime and Netflix negotiating to air them next fall, as a precursor to a film (which still doesn’t have studio backing, as of yet).

Here’s the long version, from Entertainment Weekly:

EW has confirmed that the producers of Arrested Development is in talks [sic] with Showtime and Netflix about airing a limited number of original episodes that will update fans on the Bluth clan.

Hurwitz told attendees at the New Yorker Festival Sunday in New York that he wanted to shoot nine to 10 episodes that would air next fall and catch audiences up on the characters’ lives since the series ended in 2006 on Fox. The episodes would be produced by 20th Century Fox TV, which was responsible for the original single camera series.

Hurwitz’ hope is that the limited series would serve as a walk-up to his long-gestating movie. “I have been working on the screenplay for a long time and found that as time went by there was so much more to the story,” he said at the festival, which was also attended by Development stars Bateman, De Rossi, and Cera, as well as David Cross, Will Arnett, Jeffrey Tambor, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, and Alia Shawkat. Ron Howard, one of the comedy’s producers, even participated via speakerphone. “In fact, where everyone’s been for five years became a big part of the story. So, in working on the screenplay I found that even if I just gave five minutes per character to that backstory, we were halfway through the movie before the characters got together. And that kinda gave birth to this thing we’ve not been pursuing for a while and we’re kinda going public with it a little bit. We’re trying to do kind of limited run series into the movie.”

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Do yourself a favor and see Jonah Hex while you still can.  Yes, I’m serious.

A few years ago, when I finally got around to seeing the Nicolas Cage version of Wicker Man, I was equal parts delighted and pissed.  Delighted I was witnessing such a beautifully ridiculous spectacle, and pissed that no one had told me about it sooner.  All I heard about it when it came out was that “it sucked”, and it was quickly shuffled out of theaters and forgotten.  What those same people had apparently neglected to mention was that NIC CAGE PUNCHES A WOMAN WHILE DRESSED AS A GOD D*MNED BEAR. What the hell, people?  Help a brother out.

Everyone seemed hung up on the filmmaker’s intention.  Look, the filmmaker’s intention is not my concern. I just know I would trade 100 “eh it was okay I guess” films for one Wicker Man.

Today, I find it within my power to prevent at least one similar oversight.  I’m here to tell you that, short of Josh Brolin dressing like a gorilla and pushing Megan Fox down stairs,  Jonah Hex is this year’s Wicker Man.  I was disappointed when the Frotcast listeners voted that we see it.  I expected to hate it and be bored.  Instead, I laughed almost continuously from the opening credits to the closing ones (not a huge commitment considering it’s only 72 minutes long).  More incredibly, I was not stoned.

This movie has everything.  EVERYTHING CATCHES FIRE!  EVERY BAD GUY GETS KILLED TWICE! SILLY WIGS FOR EVERYONE!

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As a professional blogger, it’s hard to explain to normal people why reporting on Arrested Development news is so tiresome.  It’s not because I didn’t like the show — it’d be easy to hate on the fanatical fan base if it were a bad show, but it’s great — it’s just that these rumors have been going around for the better part of three years now, and at this point, I’d just as soon wait till the movie’s in the can to start talking about it.  But hey, sometimes we all do things we don’t want to for the money, otherwise truckers couldn’t lick whipped cream off your sister.  To the block quote!

Speaking at the press junket for When in Rome, Will Arnett confirmed that an Arrested Development feature film should go into production sometime this year.
“I’m so glad you asked that,” joked Arnett, who has been questioned about the series’ fate since it went off the air in 2006. “It’s very refreshing. We are working on the movie right now, yeah… We don’t have a completed script yet, but it’s forthcoming and we’re going to make the movie this year.”
When asked if he thought the cameras would actually roll before year’s end, Arnett seemed resolute.  “That’s the plan,” said the actor in earnest, before deadpanning, “We’re hoping once Jason Bateman gets out of rehab. I think that we’re going to start shooting.” [ComingSoon]

So there you have it!  Sandwiched between sarcasm and fantasy was the earnest pronouncement that an actor not involved in the writing or production says it’s going to shoot this year!  PLEASE HOLD THE FOOTBALL SO THAT I MIGHT KICK THE F*CK OUT OF IT!

I apologize in advance for not being excited to report this story — I loved the show, I really did — it’s just that a lot of sites spent an entire year running ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE??!? stories every other day, which usually consisted of them seeing Alia Shawkat on the street and yelling, “Hey Alia, is there going to be an Arrested Development movie??!”  She’d shrug, and they’d run STAR MAY BE ONBOARD FOR ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE!! the next morning.  Some people even made a documentary about how the show was good.  Who the hell wants to see that?  I watched the show. I liked the show.  What’s the documentary going to be about, you ruining it for me?  Okay, tirade over.  AD creator Mitchell Hurwitz has begun writing the script, which he’s set to direct.

“Arrested Development” creator Mitchell Hurwitz [HURRRRwitz -Ed] and his co-executive producer James Vallely are working on a screenplay for the long-debated feature version of their short-lived Fox series. Even as they prep a new Fox comedy series with “Arrested” star Will Arnett, the writers are spinning more bizarre encounters for the eccentric, spoiled Bluth clan for possible feature production in the spring.

Hurwitz had said that he wouldn’t start writing a film unless all the main actors were committed. Hurwitz and Vallely are now forging ahead. Scheduling might be difficult, however, as several — Bateman, Cera and Arnett — have seen their careers bloom in TV and film since the series debuted in 2003. [THR]

Oh my gosh, someone started writing a script?  HOLD THE F-CKING PHONE, SO THAT I MIGHT SHOUT OBSCENITIES INTO IT.

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Anyone who thinks the Oscars is an old-fart, elitist circle jerk (which it is), and should be more democratic, should take a look at the nominees for the People’s Choice or MTV Movie Awards some time.  There isn’t much that’d make me want to watch a show where Slumdog and Twilight have the most nominations, and that gives an award for “Best WTF Moment,” but damn if they didn’t hire Andy Samberg to host. They’ve also been releasing these fake movie nominees for Best Fight for the last couple weeks.  You can see the newest one, Slaughter Shack, with Samberg and Will Arnett above.  Ha, thank God for the internet, otherwise you might actually have to watch the show to see these.  Haha, WTF??? LOL1!
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