The first trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon has hit the web, and it’s huge news in the movie blogosphere.  In related news, I pray for the day when these terrible movies aren’t considered huge news. (*makes robot sound while wanking dismissively*)

During the Apollo 11 mission, the astronauts end up on the far side of the moon or “dark on the rock,” as it were and they have 21 minutes to investigate what seems to be a crashed ship. The hull has been breached. Extensive damage. We are not alone in the universe.

Most agree that the Transformer who crashed on the moon in 1969, and is seen in this teaser, is most likely Alpha Trion.

Alpha Trion is one of the Original Thirteen Transformers…He is generally depicted as an ancient mechanoid with a link to Optimus Prime.

The original thirteen Transformers were “created by the god Primus before he went on to create the rest of the Transformers race.” [SlashFilm]

Alpha Trion is, of course, not to be confused with ‘Bater Trion, the virgin bot who forever sacrificed the touch of a woman to spend his life researching Transformers lineages.

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Are you still interested in Transformers 3 after being dry anal raped by Transformers 2.

The Saw movies really have a knack for opening when nothing else is out and cleaning up, and this weekend was no different.  Saw 3D (aka Saw 7, aka Saw VII: Torture Everywhere in This Bitch) earned $22.5 million to top the box office.  It was down from Saw 2 through 5′s $32 million average opening gross, but enough to earn back the small budget and probably get another one of these masterpieces greenlit.  In terms of attendance, it was the second-lowest of the franchise behind the first, but premium-priced 3D accounted for 92% the tickets sold.  Call it a victory for crappy sequels and higher ticket prices.  Yay.

Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter opened in 243 more locations than last weekend and still fell 47%.  It’s currently earned back less than half of its budget.  It’s a shame.  I thought this one would finally be Matt Damon’s big break.

[source: BoxOfficeMojo]

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"Why yes, Twiki, she can handle a stick. You don't know the half of it."

Praise be to Allah, I don’t know if I could’ve faced tomorrow without the promise that I might someday see a Buck Rogers movie. It’s going to be in 3D and directed by Death Race/Event Horizon/Resident Evil‘s Paul W.S. Anderson (not to be confused with Paul Thomas Anderson — you can tell the difference because one of them makes good movies):

Buck Rogers, the fighter pilot who wakes up in the 25th Century, is being relaunched as a 3D screen hero. Paul WS Anderson has locked a deal to direct a new version of the classic tale of a fighter pilot who quickly acclimates to the future and puts his skills to use defending the planet against invaders.  Iron Man scribes Art Marcum and Matt Holloway will write the screenplay. Anderson is casting for a fall shoot. [Deadline]

You might remember that Frank Miller was once attached to this, but then people actually saw what he‘d do when given a chance to direct a movie. I don’t know about Paul WS Anderson, but I like that they’re doing it 3D, because I imagine a person who still gives a sh*t about Buck Rogers doesn’t have the best eyesight.  Maybe in this version he can fight kids who don’t call and the Orientals.

Remember that Iron Man 2 featurette from the other day?  Some eagle-eyed viewers over at Bad Taste have discovered that it may have contained a Thor cameo!  Set faces to “stunned!”  Here’s the frame in question:

CinemaBlend even provides a side-by-side comparison with Thor star Chris Hemsworth:

Could Thor have a cameo in Iron Man 2? Sure. Marvel is making it a point to tie all of their upcoming movies together and that will almost certainly include cameos from other superheroes. And it sort of makes sense that Thor might show up here, in what appears to be a prison of some sort for people with special powers. Or at least a prison designed to hold the likes of Whiplash. [CinemaBlend]

AND TO THINK, HE WAS THERE THE ENTIRE TIME,  PERFECTLY DISGUISED AS A BACKGROUND CHARACTER YOU WOULD NEITHER NOTICE NOR CARE ABOUT. FASCINATING.

(*rides by on Vespa scooter*  Ooooooh snaaaaaaaaaap)

This video has been making its way around the internets, and why not?  It is after all a meaningless cluster of images one of which is a sign that says “Cloverfield” for a split second.  Haha, remember that?  It was this movie every seemed to care about for a couple days.  So, is this viral marketing for Cloverfield 2?  Maybe.  Or maybe it’s just an experiment.  Like, if I wrote “Cloverfield” on the side of a pigeon and then filmed it while it walked around eating seeds and cleaning its feathers, how long would people watch?  In related news, Sexman has changed his name to Cloverfieldman.  You’ve done it again, Abrams.

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