I didn’t know how else to write this headline, but I don”t want to shame every struggling actor who screws up. Consider this more of an unfortunately timed Where Are They Now. Anyway, Steven Bauer (born Steven Ernest Echevarria), one the only actual Cubans in Scarface, got arrested Monday night for a DUI. So I suppose the answer to “where are they now” is “in jail!”

His arrest report shows the 52-year-old Bauer was stopped in Sweetwater, Florida for an improper left turn late Monday night. He was given a warning, but the officer ran his driver’s license and found an open 12-year-old warrant.

Bauer played Manny Ribera in the 1983 movie “Scarface” starring Al Pacino. Bauer also starred on the bilingual PBS show “Qué Pasa, USA.” He played the teenage son of a Cuban exile family in Miami from 1977 to 1979. He was booked into the Miami-Dade County Jail early Tuesday morning. It was not immediately known if he has an attorney. [AP]

Eef I didn’ know better, mang? I say dat cop, she some kinda lesbian.

On a serious note, Bauer’s delivery in the “Beetch. Lesbian.” scene from Scarface is one of my all-time favorite line reads, and easily the most memorable part of that entire movie. Also, I imagine being an actor from Scarface in jail is like being the Red Sox centerfielder in a bar next to Fenway.

She would’ve banged him in real life, Manny was slick as f*ck.

It would be less mentally taxing for all of us if after achieving novelty fame for a bit role in a hit show or movie, actors could just vaporize, saving us the cognitive dissonance of ever having to reconcile them with their characters, but unfortunately for us, they usually have to on living, with all the growing up, getting married, becoming Scientologists, or working normal jobs that that might entail. So it was that actor Chris Owen, who once played the iconic Sherminator in American Pie and American Reunion, was discovered waiting tables a sushi joint in Santa Monica.

So what has the Sherminator been up to? Well it looks as though the former ladies man from American Pie is now working as a server at Sushi Roku in Santa Monica. There are plenty of good lookin’ girls down there, especially with summer coming to a close, so we’re sure the actor is having no problem meeting lady friends while on the job. C’mon… he’s the Sherminator, for God’s sake.

StarzUncut.com wants you guys’ to take on this… Is the economy so bad that even the Hollywood elite is having to go back to work? Or, is the Sherminator just doing what he loves? [sic] [StarzUncut]

I’ve waited tables before, and as much as waiters like to complain about it and others ridicule, really the only drawback is everyone’s sh*tty judgment. It’s virtually impossible to get out of a sushi joint without spending at least $20 a person, and all you have to do is carry a big, communal tray out once or twice a meal. It’s the easiest, most lucrative form of an already easy job. Maybe not as easy as being a teen actor, but still. You’d make just as much as you would at an office job (most likely significantly more) without having to have a 9-to-5 gig and all the soul-crushing bullsh*t that goes along with it. And like they say, you get to hang out with hot young girls all day. And at the end of your shift, you just drop your hard hat and bail and no one expects you to spend even a single second of your off time thinking about it. I promise, it ain’t a bad life. Hell, the only reason I’m not waiting tables at a sushi restaurant right now is that all those having all those ethnic types around me would probably make me nervous.

If you’re a child of the late 80s/early 90s like me, then you’re fortunate enough to remember 1987, or as I like to call it – the year that changed TV forever. Until ’87, TV consisted of the big 3 networks – NBC, ABC and CBS. It was simple and effective, because that’s the way that billionaires liked things back then. But then Rupert Murdoch said, “F*ck a bunch of that nonsense” and he announced the fourth network – Fox. As we all know all too well, it was all downhill from there.

Read the rest of this entry »

I usually don’t post on Fridays after Weekend Movie Guide goes up, and I usually leave the Jon Stewart stuff to the TV bloggers, but I couldn’t not post this.

Irish Willis Peele snapped a lot of photographs of Virginia “speed punk” band Front Line back in the 1980s, including this one, from a Dead Kennedys show in Richmond, Va. Peele says the guy in the center is William and Mary student Jon Leibowitz — who later moved to New York and now has a pretty successful comedy career under the name Jon Stewart. In case you’re wondering, it adds up — Stewart was at William and Mary until 1984. [Gawker]

I heard the Misfits were scheduled to play the same show, but backed out when the college ran out of soup.

Sidenote: Patton Oswalt also went to William and Mary. That should definitely be the first two bullet points in the brochure.

UPDATE: So I guess it’s not him. Oh drat.

Back in 1999, Heather Donahue starred as “chick with a hat” in The Blair Witch Project, the indie-horror found-footage runaway success with the timeless message that you should never let a chick navigate. Since I’m sure you were all dying to know, since 2007, she’s apparently been growing pot (medicinal, of course), an experience she documents in an upcoming book, “Grow Girl.” I applaud them the restraint it must’ve taken not to call it “You Grow, Girl.” (Though for the record, there are already

Donahue got involved in medical marijuana after getting frustrated with her acting career.
“I took all my stuff into the desert related to my acting career and burned it all,” she said.
Even the blue ski cap from the “Blair Witch Project” poster?
“That’s the only thing I kept. I figured if things got really bad, I could always sell it on eBay,” said Donahue, who recently attended her Upper Darby High School 20-year reunion.
Her new career started after Donahue met a man who had lived in “Nuggettown,” a Northern California community where growing weed was common [redundant. -Ed.] Donahue “was always an avid gardener,” so she took right to it.
“I became a solitary country girl,” said Donahue, who lived in Los Angeles for years after graduating from the University of the Arts in 2005. She gave up cultivating pot once she decided to write about her experiences, which included her doubts about continuing after her friend got busted by the feds on the day of her first pruning.

University of the Arts? Is that like going to med school at the Institute of Science? It’s always a bad sign when your school sounds like it was named by Dr. Nick. (No, you google it).

Read the rest of this entry »