I saw Werner Herzog’s 40-second rant about the stupidity of chickens when I saw Into the Abyss, from whence this clip came, but the rant out of context is even better. It’s the perfect illustration of what makes Werner Herzog’s documentaries so entertaining and also so frustrating.

“The enormity of their flat brain, the enormity of zair stupidity, is just overwhelming. You have to do yourself a favor. When you are out in the countryside and you see chicken, try to look a chicken in the eye with great intensity. And the intensity of stupidity that is looking back at you is just amazing. By the way, it is very easy to hypnotize a chicken. They are very prone to hypnosis. And in one or two films, I’ve actually shown that.”

Our old buddy Allan Weisbecker always used to say that comedy is about obsession, and never was that more true than with Werner Herzog, who, if you watch any of his recent documentaries, tends to find a new obsession every five minutes. The stupidity of chickens, an Eskimo welder with funny thumbs, a prison chaplain’s encounter with a squirrel, the inky abyss of a grizzly bear’s eyes (“za cold eendeeference of nature”), have all captivated Werner for minutes at a time. Hearing him expound on the subjects with the intensity of an existentialist philosopher and the fascination of an awed stoner is what makes him such a perfect character. Then there are other times when you kind of want him to finish a thought, but he’s already forgotten about dead languages and moved onto the thickness of seal’s milk. I’m serious, by the way, those were both subjects of extended soliloquoys in Encounters at the End of the World. Actual seals, I mean, not Seal the singer. That would be weird. Though I would pay to see Werner Herzog narrate a documentary about Seal. “Oont za scars on eine skin ist akin to za first glaciers zat carve za valley down za mountain, clearing za path for za horreeble plague of humanity, viss zair hybrid cars, oont cell phones, oont tabloid newspapers, oont zair Schtarbucks fockeenk coffeez. But za poet must never look away. Eez beautiful. By za way, eet eez very easy to heepnotize Seal. I’ff made seex moofies about eet.”

"I haff you right vair I vant you now, leetle friend."

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If I were evaluating Werner Herzog’s new documentary Into the Abyss solely on the basis of entertainment value, I could tell you that it’s great. It’s not an instant classic like Grizzly Man, but it’s a fascinating story told in Herzog’s frustrating, entertaining style. (And as long as we’re ranking Herzog docs, it’s more entertaining than Encounters at the End of the World, but less Herzoggy — less voiceover, fewer misanthropic one-liners about his love of cold indifference and hatred of sunlight).

But I have a hard time not seeing it at least partially as a piece of advocacy. Herzog wanted it, as the film’s producer says, released early, so that it could become part of the death penalty debate. He’s said in interviews that it’s not meant as a “crusading doc,” and he doesn’t intend it as anti-capital punishment piece, even though he states a few times throughout the movie that he doesn’t believe in the death penalty. If I give him the benefit of the doubt on not taking a particular position, I’d say the film’s last act, at best, still betrays a certain blind spot in his storytelling. At worst, it’s the least-successful anti-death penalty film I’ve ever seen.

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Werner Herzog recently premiered his documentary, Into the Abyss, at the Telluride and Toronto Film Festivals, to polarizing reviews. It deals with death row inmates in the time before their executions, and sounds like one of the Herzoggiest of Herzogumentaries. The distributor, Sundance Select’s original plan was to release it sometime in 2012, but now it will hit theaters in a platformed release starting in New York and LA November 11th, apparently because Herzog himself demanded it.

The decision was literally forced on distributor Sundance Selects by its filmmaker, who became “obsessed” with the subject matter and demanded they release it now — particularly as the issue has turned into a hot potato due to a recent Republican presidential debate and the execution of Troy Davis. The difficulty for the distrib was Herzog’s other current doc, the 3D Cave Of Forgotten Dreams, has been a big hit and continues in theaters, and it’s likely some of those dates will now have to be pulled to make way for Abyss.

Erik Nelson, the producer on both films, explains that there was a confluence of events. “Cave is still in theaters and we had no idea it would do as well as it has done,” he said. “You’re not really supposed to put two films out at the same time by the same director. On the other hand, what Werner wants, Werner gets. Resistance is futile. Added Nelson: “It seems now for whatever reason. everyone in the country is focused on the death penalty debate again thanks to Rick Perry and the bloodthirsty yahoos at the Republican debate, and I think Werner wants the film to be part of that discussion because timing is everything.” [Deadline]

Not that I necessarily disagree, but if you really want to be part of the discussion, maybe don’t call them “bloodthirsty yahoos” in a press release. Just a thought. (Also, as a lefty, is the death penalty battle really the one we want to fight right now? That’s probably below 50 on my list of political priorities.) Anyway, Here’s a little more info on the film, from ThePlaylist:

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Werner Herzog is one our favorite characters around these parts, so it only follows that someone would want to put that character in a movie. Paramount has announced that Herzog will play the villain in One Shot, written and directed by Chris McQuarrie (Usual Suspects, Valkyrie), based on the book series by Lee Child. I hope he’s only doing this to finance a documentary about blind pygmies of the Serengeti, who create beautiful poetry and then fight to the death with yak bones.

The book series by Lee Child follows Jack Reacher, a former military policeman turned drifter. In “One Shot,” Reacher investigates the case of a sniper accused of murdering five people before being captured.
Herzog will play The Zec, an ex-prisoner of war who arranges and stages the killing and is the head of the conspiracy. “One Shot” is the first major acting role for the German auteur, aside from cameos and an occasional voice-over work on “The Simpsons.”

Said Herzog on why he was interested in working with Tom Cruise, “I haff been eenterested een za giggling dwarf ever seence I shoot ‘Even Dwarf Started Schmall’ een 1970, about za laughing dwarf oo takeower za zoo oont crucify za monkey. I see za parallel seetoation viss Tom Cruise, ollyvood, oont Scientologist. Oont ven I look eento za eyes uff za scientologeest, I see nuzzink. Zee abyss. Za cold eendifference uff nature. Vair some people see za human soul, I see styleests, publiceests, oont Schtarbucks fockeeng coffeez. Behind za eyes ist nuzzinkness, oont it is poetry. Eez beautiful.”

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"One must not give za bear za satizfaktion."

Director Werner Herzog has found a distributor for his upcoming documentary, which he describes as “a gaze into the abyss of the human soul.”  To be fair, he says the same thing about bears, icebergs, soft-serve ice cream, sugar packets, logo t-shirts, nose-hair trimmers, ducks, wheelbarrows, Eskimos, Starbucks coffee, and the spork.  Specifically, this one’s about death row inmates.

ZDF Enterprises is handling worldwide TV and theatrical rights to the film outside the U.S. and the U.K. for Werner Herzog’s forthcoming docu “Gazing into the Abyss: A Tale of Death, a Tale of Life,” about death row inmates.
In the film, Herzog — who is enjoying a major hit with his current pic, “Cave of Forgotten Dreams” — embarks on a dialogue with the prisoners, discussing life and death, and examines their stories and their crimes, which he describes as “a gaze into the abyss of the human soul.”
Among the inmates portrayed in the film are two men convicted of triple murder, another who killed his girlfriend and her two mentally retarded sons, and a woman — one of only 10 on Texas’ death row — charged with abducting a newborn baby and killing the child’s mother. [Variety]

This sounds amazing, but to be fair, I could listen to Werner Herzog narrate anything. “Oont one day, za preezoner schtab me in mein belly.  I vass bleedink all over za floor, oont za prizon schtaff urge me to get medical care.  But I say nein, ist flesh vound. Eez beautiful.  Za poet must never look away.”

As documentarian-narrators go, Herzog is like the opposite of Nick Broomfield, who’s like listening to a retarded British Kermit the Frog try to gargle hot oatmeal.