You’re better than this, Sara Hyland.
Opening Everywhere: Scary Movie 5, 42
FilmDrunk Suggests: If someone puts a gun to your head and says, “You must go see Scary Movie 5”, well, I will miss you. Otherwise, if you have to see a new movie this weekend, go see the baseball story that everyone already knows, but that nobody gets tired of hearing.
Opening Everywhere: Evil Dead, Trance
Opening in IMAX: Jurassic Park
FilmDrunk Suggests: I find it interesting that people are acting like Jurassic Park opening in IMAX is some momentous occasion, like they just have to see it in 3D before they never have the chance again. I just don’t view this franchise in the same regard as the great ones like Star Wars or Police Academy. Call me crazy, I suppose.
Special Plug: Once again, The Manson Family, from the folks who brought us Gone with the Pope, is being re-released for another limited theater run, with the following upcoming cities and dates:
4/06/2013 Landmark’s Egyptian Theatre – Seattle, WA
4/12/2013 Logan Theatre – Chicago, IL
4/12/2013 Hi-Pointe Theatre – St. Louis, MO
4/13/2013 Hi-Pointe Theatre – St. Louis, MO
4/13/2013 Cedar Lee Theatre – Cleveland, OH
You can check out the rest of the upcoming dates and details here.
They’re watching Rise of Cobra.
Opening Everywhere: GI Joe: Retaliation, The Host, Temptation, The Place Beyond the Pines
Movie That I’m Going To Hunt Down Even If I Have To Walk 500 Miles: Room 237 (It’s a documentary about The Shining)
Special Plug: The Manson Family is being re-released for another limited theater run, with the following upcoming cities and dates:
3/30/2013 Landmark’s Sunshine Cinema – New York, NY
3/30/2013 Alamo Drafthouse Vintage Park – Houston, TX
4/03/2013 Granoff Center for the Arts – Providence, RI
4/05/2013 Landmark’s Ritz Bourse – Philadelphia, PA
4/05/2013 Landmark’s Egyptian Theatre – Seattle, WA
4/06/2013 Landmark’s Egyptian Theatre – Seattle, WA
You can check out the rest of the upcoming dates and details here.
FilmDrunk Suggests: Spicy Nacho Doritos. Oh, you mean for a movie? I don’t know, people are actually telling me good things about GI Joe: Retaliation – at least from the “Dude, it’s hilarious” point of view – so maybe that. Especially since a very significant plot point was already spoiled for me. Hold on… yes, I’m being told via Morse code that GI Joe: Retaliation has no plot points. Carry on.
Opening Everywhere: The Croods, Admission, Spring Breakers, Olympus Has Fallen
FilmDrunk Suggests: That video above. It’s a dog named Milo dressed as the characters from The Wizard of Oz. It’s certainly a lot better than watching Gerard Butler sweat C-Tates’ jock. But it’s also not better than watching Ashley Benson and those other girls do stuff in bikinis, so plan your weekend accordingly.
Opening Everywhere: Spring Breakers, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, The Call
FilmDrunk Suggests: Well, let’s see – one is about dueling fake magicians, another is about a former Oscar winner in a WWE movie, and the third is about attractive girls on spring break. It’s a toss-up, guys. I’m leaning toward the magicians.
