My decision not to go to WonderCon seems to have been validated as the four minutes of Green Lantern footage WB screened there has now been released online (you can watch it below).  The Martin Campbell-directed DC Comics property starring Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively opens June 17th. The footage shows mostly what happens when the alien Abin-Sur (I don’t trust him, he sounds Moslem) comes to Earth and gives Ryan Reynolds his promise ring.  Ryan Reynolds is confused at first, but then he starts spontaneously saying the magical Green Lantern slam poem, which seems like it’s supposed to get us really excited, but how many people were actually into Green Lantern? Unless I’ve got a serious case of false consensus, I’d venture to say not a lot. Then he flies into space and meets some CGI people.  My favorite part is where his mask disappears and the alien guy says, “Your mask will appear when protection of your identity is required.”

Yes, because that inch and a half of green plastic around the cheekbones would make a person unrecognizable, even to his own mother.

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(*sigh*)  I’m too old for this sh_t.

That’s right, Warner Brothers has hired a writer to reboot the Lethal Weapon franchise.  THE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY, IT DOES NOTHING!  Because when I think of premises Hollywood hasn’t already done to death, I think interracial buddy cop movie.  Apartheid schmaschmartheid, maybe in this version, Riggs can stop the oven-dodgers from causing all the world’s wars.

DEADLINE MAKES ME WANNA SMOOOOOOOKE…

Warner Bros and producer Joel Silver have set Will Beall to write Lethal Weapon, with a take that will relaunch the buddy cop series with a new cast. Beall, a former LA police officer who patrolled South Central and wrote the novel L.A. Rex, has seen his stock rise at the studio because of his script Gangster Squad, the period crime drama about an elite crime squad that fought against organized crime kingpins like Mickey Cohen. Zombieland helmer Ruben Fleischer has come aboard to direct that film.

Warner Bros has been messing around for some time with Lethal Weapon 5, with a treatment written by original scribe Shane Black. The plan was to bring the original team back, but schedules didn’t match up and Mel Gibson’s image has taken a self-inflicted beating [much like my wang -ed].  Beall pitched a take that maintains the tone of the original–a hard R-rated edgy street cop movie.

But will it be as good as Takers??? The only real question now is whether to do a sort of girl power take on it with Katherine Heigl and Queen Latifah, or go traditional and cast Channing Tatum and Nick Cannon.  Decisions, decisions.

AFTER THE JUMP: Some other interracial buddy cop flicks, just off the top of my head…

In other news I’m sick of covering already, The Hobbit has finally been greenlit and will reportedly begin shooting in February.  Peter Jackson will direct, WB, MGM, and New Line will co-finance, and it will be in 3D (obviously).  Still no word on whether it will be shot in 3D or post converted, or whether it will still be shot in New Zealand after a coalition of actors unions decided to have a whinge and a cry about it a few weeks back.  And while the directing rumors have seemingly been put to rest, the casting rumors are just starting to heat up.  Oh joy.

Word is Martin Freeman will soon be set to play Bilbo Baggins, that Jimmy Nesbitt has been offered a role and that Michael Fassbender [or as I like to call him, Michael F. Assbender] is being pursued for another, as is David Tennant. Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis are expected to reprise Gandalf and Gollum.
The financial questions surrounding The Hobbit still remain: How much of the $500 million bill is Warner Bros footing? And who will eventually pony up for MGM’s part. MGM owns international distribution rights. Another delay in all of this has been the negotiation with Jackson. He co-wrote the script and was always a producer, but he only came on board recently to replace Guillermo del Toro as director. December 2012 is the release date for the first first film and the second comes one year later. Both are in 3D. [Deadline]

My sources tell me the move follows a New Zealand tradition in which Peter Jackson emerges from his burrow, and if he sees his shadow, we get six more hours of gay hobbit movies.

Cool lens, bro

Last week, I reported that Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) was one of five directors on the short list to direct WB’s Chris Nolan-produced Superman reboot (yes, I’m starting to hate that word too).  Snyder was my top choice for the job, and would you look at that, according to Deadline this afternoon, he’s got it.  My guess?  In the third act, Superman kills a pterodactyl with his giant blue wang.

Deadline spoke with Zack Snyder, who confirms that as soon as he completes post on Sucker Punch, he’ll move right into the Man of Steel. “I’ve been a big fan of the character for a long time, he’s definitely the king of all superheroes, he’s the one,” Snyder told Deadline. “It’s early yet, but I can tell you that what [screenwriter] David [S. Goyer] and Chris have done with the story so far definitely has given me a great insight into a way to make him feel modern.

Faster than a speeding bullet!  Slower than the slowest super slow-motion shot that ramps up to regular speed!   Eh, what can I say?  Like I said, I think Zack Snyder is a good choice.  And knowing that the guy once had his stunt men fight each other dressed like owls to choreograph Legend of the Guardians, I bet he’s got a room full of models in capes and body paint shooting “test footage” right now. He has them pretend to fly by jumping off the couch.  And onto his dong.

After the disappointment that was Superman Returns, it seemed like WB was making some solid decisions for the next Superman movie, like hiring David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, Dark Knight, Blade) to write and Chris Nolan to “mentor“.   But now the latest rumor (via Supermanhomepage) is that they want Chris Columbus to direct.  You may remember him as the guy who directed hits like Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire, but only because no one saw I Love You Beth Cooper, Rent, Bicentennial Man, Stepmom, or Nine Months. Yeah… I hope this is just a rumor.

Up up and to the blockquote!  (*puts on red speedo, jumps off coffee table*)

As we know, Warner Bros. are aiming to have a new Superman movie released to cinemas before the end of 2012. A source inside the studio has revealed to the Superman Homepage that an “offer has been sent out to Chris Columbus to direct the 3D Superman reboot for December 2012″.
Columbus, who directed the first two “Harry Potter” films for Warner Bros., is reportedly considered “the right fit” for the Man of Steel by those within the WB and Legendary Pictures.
Christopher Nolan will be producing the film, from a script written by David Goyer.
“David Goyer really wanted to direct but nobody from either studio think he’s good in that arena,” reveals the studio insider. “He’s great at coming up with story and ideas, like George Lucas. It’s his execution where he’s weak which is why people like Chris and Jonathan Nolan and Guillermo Del Toro have had the best results with his scripts.”

David Goyer isn’t good at directing… so you’re hiring the writer of Christmas with the Kranks to direct his script instead?  That’s like saying, “Well my wife is great at buying steaks, she’s just not the greatest cook.  Which is why next time she brings home a nice steak, I’m going to take a dump on it and light it on fire.”