In my excitement to get my own Watchmen review up, I neglected to post Sexman’s.  But when it comes to Sexman, better late than never.  Not surprisingly, he liked it.

“This movie is not for the faint of heart, there is quite a few graphic scenes… Which. I. Loved.  They were awesome.  And there’s a blue wiener too.”

And please, please, please, make sure you watch until the 2:02 mark for Sexman’s Rorschach impression.  The results of Sexman’s Rorschach test, meanwhile, were: Rambo, a fight at school, me getting braces, graffiti…
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I rip off Patton Oswalt constantly because I love him so much, but I swear I hadn’t read his blog about Watchmen before writing my review.  And you know I’m telling the truth because otherwise my review would’ve been better.

“You’re all going to go see it, you resentful nerd mafiosi. And you’ll walk in rolling your eyes and you’ll walk out whistling sadly through your teeth because the fuel of the Nerd Mafia is disappointment and exclusion.

Tell you what — before you go and see THE WATCHMEN, plunk down and watch CATWOMAN, GHOST RIDER and DAREDEVIL. And use those seven hours (and don’t pretend like you don’t have seven free hours in your day) to get out all of your disgust and the-world-owes-me-my-daydreams-made-real attitude you strut around with.

Because Zack Snyder STEPPED UP, motherf–kers. THE WATCHMEN was going to get made, one way or another. And instead of bleating on his Facebook status updates or Tweeting about how sh–ty the upcoming adaptation’s going to be, he TOOK THE BULLET and tried to do it right. Yes, THE WATCHMEN should be a limited series on HBO and blah blah blah IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. Zack delivered a 2 1/2 hour, honest attempt, and broke his ass cranking out tons of free extras. Hell, he even animated The Tales of The Black Freighter for you chumps. Plus, he gave you a kick-ass DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, plus 300, plus whatever else he’s got coming down the pike. He’s the best friend the Nerd Mafia’s had since Joss Whedon and Brian Michael Bendis, so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go F–k Yourself and go see the movie version of THE WATCHMEN.” [via Patton's MySpace Blog]

I urge you to read the whole thing because it made my wiener tingle.  See that?  I just used MY blog to point out SOMEONE ELSE’s blog.  What would the world be without my contributions?  Suck on that, you fag cancer doctors.

Watchmen — love it or hate it, you at least have to admit it had balls — dropped 67% from last weekend to this weekend, landing in second place behind The Race to Witch Mountain.  67% isn’t the worst drop in history, but the fact that it lost the weekend to a remake starring The Rock, while Jim-Belushi-vehicle-that-never-was Paul Blart Mall Cop still comfortable cracked the top 10… it doesn’t bode well for the types of movies that will get greenlit.  I don’t understand it, I thought Watchmen was pretty good.  Heck, even At the Movies hosts Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz had great things to say about it. See their review after the jump.

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Here at FilmDrunk, instead of working on the weekends, we suggest you go back and re-read the best posts of the week.  Here they are:

10. Frank Miller’s Charlie Brown. “Schultz City: That Yellow-Shirted Such and Such.”

9. Three words: Turtle Rape Shoe.

8. Chodin reviewed I Love You, Man. I didn’t like it as much as he did (it was very funny, but also painfully conventional), but how could I not post a review that includes the line, “That’s when an invisible hose extends from your theater seat and milks the funny from your anus.”  But… wouldn’t it be shooting funny into your anus?  Your argument is invalid.

7. Chuck Norris decided he wants to run for Prime Magician of Narnia or some crap.

6. This 4 Fast 4 Furious clip will satisfy your appetite for XTREME GEAR SHIFT CLOSEUPS!  OOH WHA-A AA-AA!

5.  I weighed in on Watchmen. I think it’s worth seeing and I don’t even like comic books.  But keep in mind, ladies, the penis is CGI.

4. Awesome clip from Tough Guys Don’t Dance (try telling that to Hugh Jackman).  Oh God Oh Man Oh God Oh Man!

3. It’s revealed that George Lucas wanted Indiana Jones to be a statutory rapist.  “It’s just not interesting after 15.”  Amen, brother.

2. RETARDED FIGHT CLUB! That is all.

1. Trailer for the heartwarming soon-to-be indie drama Charley the Retarded Cat. I’ve watched this probably fifteen times and I still laugh so hard tears roll down my cheeks every time.  Granted, I have problems, but still.

I don’t make it a habit to post every parody video that hoves into my view, but I thought this one was sort of cute.  The premise is that Malin Akerman’s roommate, played by Nicol Paone (who also wrote the video), has started making money on the side by giving Watchmen fans the Silk Spectre Tour.  Paone is relatively unknown, but has a part in Funny People, Judd Apatow’s next movie.  Anyway, sorta funny. But it never answers the big question: what the f-ck kind of name is “Malin”?  It sounds like something you’d do with partially digested food.
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