"Come at me, bro."

UPDATE: After denials from Warner and IMAX, Collider has since taken down the story. It appears not to have been true.

Sound editors everywhere are probably thrilled to be part of the national conversation now that Bane’s unintelligible dialog in the Dark Knight Rises prologue has become the hottest story of winter. Last we heard, Chris Nolan’s plan was to “alter the sound slightly, not rework it completely.” But now, a source tells Collider that a new, re-mixed version of the prologue went out to IMAX theaters a few days ago. Ooh, I don’t know about this remix, I hope it’s not just the original with P Diddy saying “Ugh” and “Yeah” every few seconds.

“A friend of mine who is an IMAX projectionist told me they received a new soundtrack for the Dark Knight Rises prologue. He said it’s now a combo soundtrack with Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, but the cool thing about this is that they’ve cleaned up the dialogue. They’ve gone in and lowered the background noise of the plane and other things, thus making Bane’s dialogue clearer and more understandable.

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As with all things Dark Knight Rises-related, we thoroughly dissected the fan reaction to the six-minute IMAX prologue that played before Mission Impossible, specifically the part about no one being able to understand Bane’s dialog. You can bet Warner execs have been hearing that same criticism, and studio people are skittish like coked-up chihuahuas when it comes to this kind of stuff. God help us all if they start trying to “fix” it.

Sources close to the movie say Warner Bros. is very aware of the sound issue. One source working on the film says he is “scared to death” about “the Bane problem.” And with good reason. The last Batman film, 2008’s The Dark Knight, grossed more than $1 billion worldwide, and the studio doesn’t want anything to tamper with Rise’s chances for success.
Sources also say some at Warners would like Nolan to change the sound mix, but the filmmaker, whose autonomy is well-earned (his Inception earned the studio more than $800 million and eight Oscar nominations), has informed executives that he plans only to alter the sound slightly, not to rework it completely.
“Chris wants the audience to catch up and participate rather than push everything at them. He doesn’t dumb things down,” says one high-level exec, declining to be named. “You’ve got to pedal faster to keep up.” [THR]

What exactly would “rework it completely” even entail? Re-recording it and dubbing it back in like a kung fu flick? Boost the mid-range, drop out some background noise, and call it a day. Some of the stuff was hard to understand, but so be it. That just means fanboys will have to see it four or five times instead of two or three and end up liking it more. Trying to understand what he’s saying is half the fun. Why do you think I’ve listened to “Informer” so many times? I just assume Bane is going to make me boom boom down. And I like that.

Last we heard, WB’s plan to adapt Stephen King’s The Stand was for multiple movies to be directed by Harry Potter‘s David Yates. Apparently that idea fell through (possibly because Yates and his writer Steve Kloves were too expensive), because now Deadline reports that Warner wants Ben Affleck for the project.  HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, BRETT RATNAH, YOU QUEAH.

Warner Bros has chosen Ben Affleck to adapt and direct The Stand, Stephen King’s apocalyptic mammoth book. Affleck has become a cornerstone director for the studio, but this would be his greatest challenge yet. Even King has been reticent about the idea of making a feature of his book, which previously was turned into a miniseries. With The Town and Gone Baby Gone, Affleck has shown the grit necessary to handle such an unforgettable tale. It’s early days, but the studio loves Affleck, who’s now directing Argo. [Deadline]

HE GAWT THE JAWB CAUSE HE’S GAWT GRIT! BEN AFFLECK IS THE GRITTIEST! HE JUST GOES IN THEYAH AN PUTS ON HIS FACKIN’ HAHD HAT AN PUNCHES THE TIME CLAWCK AND DOES HIS FACKIN’ JAWB! HE’S LIKE THE WES WELKAH OF HAWLLYWOOD DIRECTAHS! ME, SQUEEZEBAWX, CASPAH, AN’ WAWP JOHNNY AH GONNA READ THIS ‘THE STAND’ AND SEE WHAT AWLL THE FACKIN FUSS IS ABOUT– 823 FACKIN’ PAGES?! WHAT IS THIS, A HAHVAHD BOOK? (*throws book at Yankees fan*)

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(Story updated, 10/19/2011, 2:14 pm et — scroll to bottom for the latest)

General Motors is looking to get together with a Hollywood studio to remind us why we go to the movies: to see two-hour commercials! The car company, of which 27 percent is owned by the government, is reportedly in talks with WB to bankroll a Cannonball Run remake. That sounds great, new ideas are for assholes.

From Vulture:

Producer Al Ruddy (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) is producing the project, and the Fox-based Shawn Levy (Real Steel) has expressed interest, wanting it anchored by his Night at the Museum star, Ben Stiller. However, we’re told that that Levy is second in line to Warner Bros.’ go-to action-comedy director Guy Ritchie, who is considering taking it on and envisions it with Brad Pitt starring with some of his Ocean’s 11 confreres.

So Brad Pitt and Guy Ritchie, but if that doesn’t work out, Ben Stiller and Shawn Levy. Uh huh, sure. 10 bucks says by the time this gets made, they’ll be down to Brett Ratner and the dude from Burn Notice.

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Warner Bros have released the first official picture of Henry Cavill as Superman in Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot, Man of Steel. Now, there are a few things to take from this. First, the suit looks very rubbery. It seems like that would be really hot to wear under your clothes every day like Superman does. Secondly, where are his manties? You can’t even tell if he’s wearing them! If Superman isn’t wearing his red underpants over his tights… what’s the point, you know? As long as they’re not those huge granny manties George Reeves used to wear. And finally, what the hell did they do to his hair? Where’s his little Superman spit curl? That was the best part! This looks more like some kind of greasy Puerto Rican pompadour (I meant the hair is greasy…).  “Mira, I fighteen for truth y yoosteece.”

Now that I think about it, minus the ‘S’, that whole outfit looks like something you’d see during the Puerto Rican Day parade. What, I’m racist now? Give me a break, it’s not like I called him the “Man of Steal.” Okay, okay, too far. Anyway I still have my fingers crossed for a giant spider in the third act.