After the jump I’ve got the second trailer for a movie that’s actually called Space Chimps.  The most impressive thing about it is that they still had the balls to release it after Wall E came out.  It’s like bringing a limp dildo to a gun fight. 

Why would someone make a limp dildo, you ask?  I dunno – look, I’m just the messenger (probably NWS).  I’m also somewhat offended they describe a flaccid, three-inch dildo as “not usable for penetration”.  How dare you, sir.

Will Smiff continued his run of July 4th hegemony with his movie about a superpowered hobo that was probably created by John Hodgman. This despite the fact that apparently the ending makes no sense and everybody hates it. Could America’s tolerance for Hollywood bullshit be slaked? My $100 million Ethan Embry-helmed remake of The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie will find out for sure.

Smith’s "Hancock," the story of a boozing, foul-mouthed superhero who dresses like a street bum, led the Fourth of July weekend with a $66 million premiere, according to studio estimates Sunday.

"Hancock" is Smith’s fifth movie to open at No. 1 over the Fourth of July, after "Men in Black," its sequel, "Independence Day" and "Wild Wild West." [AP]

Enough fat people put their anger aside and wandered into the air conditioned splendor of Wall-E theatres to give the movie another $33.4 million. With that kind of scratch, his army of R.O.B.s should another battalion or 12. (List of top 10 after the jump).

-Christmas Ape 

1. "Hancock," $66 million.

2. "Wall-E," $33.4 million.

3. "Wanted," $20.6 million.

4. "Get Smart," $11.1 million.

5. "Kung Fu Panda," $7.5 million.

6. "The Incredible Hulk," $4.9 million.

7. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystall Skull,"$3.9 million.

8. "Kit Kittredge," $3.6 million.

9. "Sex and the City," $2.3 million.

10. "You Don’t Mess With the Zohan," $2 million.

Not surprisingly, G-Rated Wall E edged out R-Rated Wanted for the top spot at the box office this weekend.  Having seen it, I can report that it’s both a great movie and a good place to pick up elementary school chicks.

  WALL-E," the Pixar Animation tale of a robot toiling away on a long-abandoned Earth, debuted as the No. 1 movie with $62.5 million in ticket sales, with Jolie’s assassin thriller "Wanted" opening in second place with $51.1 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.
  The two movies combined to keep Hollywood on a roll. The top 12 movies took in $179.2 million, up 22 percent from the same weekend last year, when Pixar’s "Ratouille" opened with $47 million. It was the fifth straight weekend that revenues climbed. [CNN]

Meanwhile, The Love Guru grossed $5.4 million in its second weekend (coming in at number 6).  Its $19 million dollar cumulative take is just a few dollars shy of earning back Mike Myer’s budget for silly wigs.  (full top ten after the jump)

1. "WALL-E," $62.5 million.
2. "Wanted," $51.1 million.
3. "Get Smart," $20 million.
4. "Kung Fu Panda," $11.7 million.
5. "The Incredible Hulk," $9.2 million.
6. "The Love Guru," $5.4 million.
7. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," $5 million.
8. "The Happening," $3.9 million.
9. "Sex and the City," $3.8 million.
10. "You Don’t Mess With the Zohan," $3.2 million.  

Opening this weekend in wide release

Wall-E
If you think you’re cuter than this robot, you probably hate yourself deep down and are subconsciously trying to make yourself feel better by overcompensating.  Maybe you were molested as a child.  I mean, I’m just sayin’.  The robot’s pretty cute. 

Wanted
I’ve read good reviews of this from critics I respect, but from the clips I’ve seen, the fancy visuals don’t outweigh James McAvoy’s facial gymnastics, the constant whining, and the bad, annoying accent.  Fancy action scenes in a movie like this seem like putting lipstick on a pig, or a monocle on a retard. Okay, that second one might actually be pretty sweet.

After the jump, I’ve got a new trailer for Wall E.  This one’s called “Cities”.  Whoever is responsible for releasing this many trailers for one movie obviously didn’t have us poor movie bloggers in mind, who have to think of something new to say every time. I’m telling you, my job really sucks sometimes.  I need a masturbation break.  I think I’ll take one.