Courtesy of MovieWeb, here are two more international trailers (other one after the jump) for The Wachowski Brothers‘ G-rated epilepstravaganza, Speed Racer. I still don’t know what to say about it, other than that it looks like the cinematic equivalent of one of these lollipops. (Opens May 9th)
The word that comes to mind is "busy". The art direction looks like it was inspired by a 12-year-old Japanese girl’s MySpace page. This movie gives me indigestion.
Check out the trailer for Speed Racer, directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski; starring Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, and Susan Sarandon. (Large, Larger, Largest)
You know, normally I wouldn’t recommend G-Rated, CGI-heavy car racing movies that look like one of those giant novelty lollypops come to life, but I’m all for anything that gives children seizures (whether it be a karate chop to the neck or otherwise).
This is like Disneyland on a bad acid trip. My eyes hurt.
On the left you can see the first pictures of John Goodman (with his stunt double) from the set of the Wachowski Brothers’ upcoming Speedracer movie.
It’s hard to say whether he’s modelling himself after George Lucas (above right), or if Larry/Lana Wachowski has rubbed off on him (I’d like to rub one off on her. Wait, what?). Then again, maybe Lesbian Bullfrog Chic is just what’s hot right now.
I still can’t decide if George Lucas looks like he has a lot of cats, or if he looks like he eats cats. Honestly, have you ever seen a human being who more closely resembled Alf?
As reported here and in Rolling Stone, Larry Wachowski is something of a transvestigender s/he whatsit.
It started with visits to a dominatrix named Ilsa Strix who ran a "dungeon" with female-to-male transgender Buck Angel (link NWS. And disturbing.). It culminated in the latest news, that Larry Wachowski is now Lana Wachowski, and has a full-fledged vagina. Or has some sort of vagina-shaped wound in her crotch.
Some time in the near future, Lana will go public with an interview on Dateline NBC (which is apparently taking a break from its busy schedule of helping pedophiles masturbate), while Andy handles all the press for the G-rated Speed Racer.
I don't see why she shouldn't help with the press tour. Man, woman, freakish man-woman; whatever. I don't care how you mutilate your genitals so long as I never have to sit through Matrix: Revolutions.
In a recent interview, Susan Sarandon confirmed two rumors about the upcoming Speed Racer movie; that it's going to be rated G, and that it's being shot on some newfangled camera that will use a process that renders everything in the frame in sharp focus. You know, like the opposite of Larry Wachowski's gender.
Evidently, they’re using multiple layers of printed information to guarantee that everything in frame is always in focus. Hyper-clarity. As in a cartoon.
Hmm, a G-rating, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I take dumps that are PG-13. Then again, Finding Nemo was rated G, and I suspect I would've enjoyed that movie even if I hadn't taken mushrooms that day. I've never tested the theory, because what would be the point? If a hotdog tastes good with mustard, why eat it plain, ya know?
