270 Movies in Six Minutes

12.14.10 Written by Vince Mancini

Here we have a compilation of 270 movies from 2010, all crammed into one, delightful musical video, great for remember “the year that was” and so forth.  Admit it, you forgot that half of these came out this year, didn’t you.  Anyway, I hope you all New-Years-Dogappreciate the work I put into this.  I mean, I got out of bed, scratched my balls, and then I was like, “What should I post today?”  So I then I started checking my email while I was taking a dump, and lo and behold, someone was like “Yo, you should post this!”  So I went and I clicked on the link, and I watched it, and I was all like, “Well that’s pretty cool.  I bet people would want to see a musical video like this.” So then I copied the embed code onto my movie website and I hit “publish”, and here we are.  Pretty crazy, right?  I think I could win an award for this.

[via YouTuber Gen I]

Here are the films shown in the video, in order of appearance:

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Supercut: Every Arnold Scream From Every Arnold Movie

11.19.10 Written by Vince Mancini


When our video editor, Oliver told me he wanted to put together a compilation of every Arnold Schwarzenegger scream from every Arnold movie, I told him I thought it was a great idea.  Then when the video showed up and it was seven minutes long, I worried.  Seven minutes is a long time for those of us accustomed to ten seconds of a guy getting hit in the crotch with a fish.  Let’s face it, ten seconds is an eternity when fish are hitting people in the crotch.  Then I watched.  I could not. Look. Away.  I’ve watched it probably ten times now.  You thought Arnold’s muscles were the key to his success?  Wrong.  It’s his scream.  It’s mesmerizing. They say music soothes the savage beast. That may be true. But after having watched this a few times, I now realize that it’s the screams of the savage beast that are the true music.

NOOOOOOOO!!  GET TO DA CHOPPAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!  Forever and ever amen.

Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Grace-Jones-Conan

My other thought while watching this? Jesus, I really need to see Jingle All the Way.

Enjoy the Arnold film stills!

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Should Arnold return to acting? Read the rest of this entry »

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Commando: The Musical (Now With More Arm Chopping)

11.03.10 Written by Vince Mancini

Schwartzenegger-ice-cream-commando-Vaughn

Every few months or so, someone puts together a rap or a musical dedicated to Arnold or one of his movies, and they’re almost always awesome because it’s Arnold. The man illustrated the idea of budget cuts with a giant knife.  Anyway, someone made a three-minute musical using clips from Commando, and it’s shocking that it’s taken this long, because Commando is the most perfect 80s action movie ever made.  There exists no more stunning combination of scenes so nauseatingly wholesome they’d be rejected from a Quaker Oats commercial (Arnold eats ice cream! Arnold feeds a deer!) juxtaposed with AWESOMELY BRUTAL DECAPITATION AND MURDER.  It’s like their target audience was John Wayne Gacy. Oh, and I finally made a gif of Arnold chopping that guy’s arm off with a machete, so you probably want to see that.

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Nerds, bow before your new king

10.27.10 Written by Vince Mancini

Red-Shirt-guy-king-of-all-nerds

Blizzard Entertainment held a convention celebrating their Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo games over the weekend, and in the course of the event, a great leader arose from the hordes and distinguished himself as the new nerd king.  The video is below, but here is the full text of his question, an achievement on par with removing an enchanted sword from a block of obsidian:

Red Shirt Guy: “Hello.  I just finished reading “The Shattering” yesterday, and I noticed something. It said that Falstad Wildhammer was going to be on the Council of Three Hammers, but in the beta, it’s Kurdrin Wildhammer, and Falstad is not in the game at all.  What happened to him?”

Guys at the podium: “Isn’t Falstad dead?  From… Day of the Dragon?”

Red Shirt Guy: “No.  He survived, and in fact, he was the leader of Aerie Peak and Vanilla Wow through Wrath of the Lich King.”

Guys at the podium:  (humbled) “…Thanks for pointing that out.  We’re going to get that fixed.”

(*the crowd goes wild, He has risen*)

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Avatar Dog vs. Parkour Dog: Your Afternoon Match Up

10.21.10 Written by Vince Mancini

Navi-dog-baby-chicks-avatar dog costume

So this Estonian lady in Texas dressed her pit bull, Sharky, up in a Na’vi costume from Avatar, and then she dressed up with him and made a video of it.  Sharky didn’t seem to like his Na’vi mask very much, but he was really cool about the family of baby chicks crawling on him.  …You guys?  Can I make a confession? I think TexasGirly1979 could be “the one.”  We could dress our dogs up in movie costumes and have a family of baby chicks — blue ones! Just like the Na’vi!  And it would be just the two of us, and we’d live off the fat of the land, with furry puppies and kitties and chicks in costumes to play with.  Oh please, tell me about the baby chicks again, Estonian lady!  Let’s touch queues and dream together!

Navi-Dog-TexasGirly 1979 Avatar Costume Navi-dog-texasgirl2 avatar dog costume Navi-dog-texas-girly-3

I’ve got the video below.  Meanwhile, elsewhere in tangentially-movie-related, former Eastern Bloc dog news, Tret the Parkour dog from Ukraine is setting the world on fire.

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