What better way to follow up the latest and final Man of Steel trailer than with the teaser for Vince Vaughn’s latest dip into the everyman’s job title pool? Yes, I know that a collection of Kate Upton GIFs would be exponentially better, but it’s not Friday and certain restraining orders won’t permit that. Instead, you’ll have to settle for the first trailer for Delivery Man, which is actually a double entendre of sorts. So much for thinking that Vaughn’s titles are one-dimensional.

As for the plot:

An affable underachiever finds out he’s fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity.

Of course he has to come forward. How else will he find out that the daughter of the single mom he’s been dating is… actually his daughter!!! At least, that’s my guess. I’m probably right, but I don’t want to spoil anything for the Academy voters.

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Still from ‘Firehouse Dads’

Word from Variety is that Vince Vaughn will following his starring turns in The Internship, Delivery Man, and Business Trip by co-starring with Will Ferrell in Daddy’s Home. Dammit, you know what this means?! It means we were wrong about Vince Vaughn’s next film again! We pride ourselves on being able to come up with Vince Vaughn vehicles at the drop of a hat. Previously, our suggestions included:

Campus Cops
Seat Fillers
Brewery Tour
Campsite Crashers (aka Ranger Dad)
Firehouse Dad
Cold Callers
The Podcast
Casual Friday
Resident Dadvisor
Grillmasters
The Expense Account
Rave Dudes
Busmen
Adult Kickball
Backpackers
Party Bus Drivers
Online Daters
The Car Pool
Valets
Booze Cruise
Hostel Crashers
Alumni Weekend
Bed and Breakfast Bros
Groupon Getaway
Daytona Dads

What, not good enough for you, Hollywood? This is bullshit.

Will Ferrell has been attached to star for some time with Etan Cohen directing. Ferrell and Adam McKay are producing for Gary Sanchez productions.
The story follows a mild mannered radio exec, played by Ferrell, whose life gets chaotic when his wife’s ex-husband, played by Vaughn, re-enters the picture and he must compete to vie for his step-children’s affections.
Cohen, Brian Burns, Adam McKay and Chris Henchy are writing the script.
The film has been set up at Paramount for some time while the script was being done. The idea is for Vaughn to do this film before jumping into New Regency’s comedy “Business Trip” which he signed on to last month. [Variety]

Ah, the old two-guys-trying-to-one-up-each-other plot. Basically, The Campaign, but with Vince Vaughn instead of Zach Galifianakis, and children instead of voters. I’ll say this, the world would be a better place if people in the real world cared that much about the affections of the their stepchildren. I wrote a more realistic version of this story and it was just called “Shut Up, Stupid.”

A few months back, we took a crack at trying to name Vince Vaughn’s next comedy vehicle, extrapolating from Old School, Wedding Crashers, The Internship, etc. The basic format is, an entry-level job as applied to a 45-year-old man in the title, OR, something that 30-50 guys already do, giving us the excitement of familiarity, but with the title implying that Vince Vaughn is going to do it more awesome. Our predictions included Alumni Weekend, Daytona Dads, Car Pool, and Groupon Getaway, among others, but it turns out we were all wrong because Vince Vaughn is making Business Trip after he finishes Delivery Man. We were way off, you guys.

EXCLUSIVE: After directing Vince Vaughn as a sperm-prolific donor who fathers hundreds of kids in the upcoming DreamWorks comedy Delivery Man, Ken Scott is in early talks to once again team with Vaughn. He’s in talks to helm Business Trip, a Steve Conrad-scripted comedy that New Regency is financing and will distribute worldwide through Fox. [Deadline]

I guess that’s why they make the big bucks. But that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying! Here are some more ideas for future Vince Vaughn movies. (If any studio execs are reading this, we can have a treatment for any of these to you by EOD).

Campus Cops

Seat Fillers (also doubles as its own porn parody title)

Brewery Tour

Bat Men (about adult batboys for a baseball team)

Campsite Crashers

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Dodgeball is one of those weird in-between movies, where it seems kind of weak in comparison to Zoolander or Anchorman (both getting sequels by the way) or Wedding Crashers back in the heyday of Stiller/Vaughn/Wilson brothers comedies, but compared to pretty much any movie Vince Vaughn made after 2005, it’s like a unicorn that poops money. And that must be good enough for Fox, because they’ve announced production on a Dodgeball sequel. No word yet on who’s directing, but if it’s Ben Stiller, I’d be a little more interested (Rawson Michael Thurber directed the first).

Ben Stiller’s Red Hour Films has set Clay Tarver to write the script for a follow-up to the hit 2004 comedy.
Fox and Red Hour are up for another round of dodgeball.
The studio and the production company run by Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld have tapped Clay Tarver to pen a script for a long-talked-about sequel to the hit comedy Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.
While Fox, Vaughn and Stiller have long mulled the idea of a sequel, little action had been taken. It was even a joke on an episode of Ricky Gervais’ Extras in which Stiller guest-starred.
Now the sequel will focus on Vaughn and Stiller forced to team up to fight an even bigger threat, according to sources.
Tarver co-wrote with J.J. Abrams the 2001 thriller Joy Ride but has spent much of his time in the comedy world and has a familiarity with niche, subculture activities.
He is working on Quantum Hoops, which centers on a nerdy basketball team at Caltech, set up Disney and also being produced by Red Hour. He wrote Men Making Music, about the world of competitive barbershop quartets, also at Disney and being produced by Abrams. And he worked with Mike Judge on Meat in the Freezer, a satire about hunting for HBO Films. [THR]

He’s great at writing niche subculture movies, though it doesn’t seem to matter what that subculture is. He just has a great sense of group, I guess. That’s the thing about a subculture, you throw in a fat guy, a funny ethnic guy, and a wisecracking lead, and you’ve got yourself a chuckle party, it doesn’t matter if they’re playing quidditch or planning jihad. In any case, I’ll continue to be underwhelmed by this news until they announce that the plot will focus on Rip Torn’s character. Of course, I say that about everything.

Like most beer-loving bro-dawgs my age, I have fond memories of Wedding Crashers. It wasn’t high art, but it worked, and it’s still hard for me to see Bradley Cooper as anything but an A-holey Maryland WASP. I never would’ve guessed Vince Vaughn would go the next eight years without making a single funny movie, but here we are. Nonetheless, I’m more than willing to see these two relive the magic, and even if the guy from Cheaper by the Dozen and Date Night probably wasn’t the best choice to direct comedy, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson becoming interns at Google seems like a perfectly cromulent premise. There’s plenty opportunity for wacky characters and cameos and fish-out-of-water hijinks. But I think I’ve isolated the problem here, and hear me out: it seems that they forgot to put in jokes. Those are important in comedy.

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