Probably my favorite thing about Vin Diesel is that he’s kind of an idiot. He tries to make big words and it’s adorable, like a puppy wearing clothes. The future star of 12 Fast 12 Furious: Fast to the Future recently opened up to Men’s Fitness, which is precisely the kind of venue to whom you’d expect Vin Diesel to open up. In between showing off his guns in wifebeaters and sleeveless hoodies, he told the mag that men in Hollywood face even more pressure to stay in shape than women. Cue Jezebel article in 3.. 2…

The “Fast & Furious 6″ star opens up about body image in the latest issue of Men’s Fitness (watch video from the photo shoot above), where he also addresses how his muscular frame has affected the movies he’s been offered.
“Hollywood is more concerned about its male actors being in shape than its female actors,” he continues.

“Being a physical presence will rule you out of a lot of roles,” Diesel tells the mag. “I couldn’t have done [a movie like] ’Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ with that physical presence. But I like it as part of me; it’s part of what I represent, and I think if Humphrey Bogart were around today he’d be a lot bigger.” [source]

You know what else will rule you out of a lot of roles? Naming yourself “VIN DIESEL.”

Anyway, I’ve screencapped a few more of Vin Diesel’s poses from the magazine shoot after the jump, because I always like reading Vin Diesel quotes better when I can picture him whispering them to me in a wifebeater. I also absolutely LOVE Vin Diesel’s hypothetical about Humphrey Bogart, and whether he’d be buff if he were alive today. In fact, I’d love to see an entire TV show, hosted by Vin Diesel, called “How Jacked Would They Be?” dedicated to Vin Diesel’s speculations about the workout habits of dead celebrities, preferably with MANSwers sound effects. “Rudolph Valentino? Yeah, he’d probably be more of a kettlebell guy, keeps the core tight, does a lotta cardio…”

Shine on, you glorious, glorious buffoon.

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This is the actual cover photo from Vin Diesel’s Facebook page.

Fast and Furious is a gloriously dumb franchise that has become incredibly successful selling the dream that anything – fame, fortune, gold necklaces, women, well-moisturized arms – can be yours, as long as you put enough aftermarket body work into your Honda Civic. To his credit, Paul Walker has always seemed like he’s just enjoying the ride (the episode of MTV Cribs set in his surfer-dude RV being a particular highlight), and you can’t blame him for that. Vin Diesel, on the other hand, who unlike Walker has actually done some decent acting work on occasion, seems to be taking all of this SUPER SERIOUSLY. Interpreting the ongoing appeal of vroomy car porn as validation that they’re making Important Art, and denied proper awards consideration simply because the films appeal to the working class. Though it’s not just Fast and Furious. Diesel once wrote of his Chronicles of Riddick sequel, “Money is always second to art, integrity and spirit… but the real issue is deeper. Can I suspend my life, to momentarily venture to that dark place.”

Isn’t he great? Diesel was back on Facebook this week to discuss Fast 6 screenings and the possibility of Fast 7 in typical Diesel fashion.

There was an early screening in LA this week of Fast 6. The crowd reaction was surreal… and their demand for the continuation was powerful…

It’s remarkable to think I first embodied this character in 1999… and the evolution continues.

P.s. Filming begins this summer in LA, where it all started… talk about a studio in sync with the audience…

/smile

Vin Diesel strikes me as a guy who spends a lot of time talking about his “brand.”

Audience demand for 7 Fast 7 Furious was palpable. I’ll tell you… It hasn’t always been an easy task as an Actor, taking this Dom Toretto character home to my baby girl. A guy who lives his life a quarter mile at a time. Who respects no authority and never narcs on his homeboys. But on the final day of shooting, as I watched The Rock piledrive that terrorist off a suspension bridge, before I even knew what was happening… My eyes felt wet. My hands were coming together in a slow clap. The performance was just so… so brave. In a way that bypasses your brain and goes right through your pectoral muscle to your biggest muscle of all, the muscle of heart. And it was then that I knew that all those times I’d been a jerk to my wife and my kids and my bengal tigers, just because I’d brought this bad boy home with me had all been worth it. I could see it written in the shining eyes of fans, the fan letters from Jiffy Lube employees. 7 Fast 7 Furious is for the children.

/smile. //preacher curl.

—

See also: Vin Diesel Goes to the DMV.

Here’s Vin Diesel singing a Rihanna song for Valentine’s Day. He has a better voice than you’d expect. But I think having the backing track that loud is technically cheating. [via Videogum]

MORNING LINKS
Harrison Ford Gonna Rock That Han Solo Joint Again |Film Drunk|

The guys talk to Jessob Reisbeck, the man who introduced Kai the Hitchhiking Hatchet Hero to the world. |Frotcast|

The Muppets Twilight Zone.
[via Fck Yeah Dementia]

Black Keys’ Patrick Carney Has Spent The Past Few Days Trolling The Sh*t Out Of Justin Bieber And His Fans |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Christoph Waltz And Alabama Shakes |Warming Glow|

Don’t Smoke Pot Under The Bleachers At A Wrestling Tournament |With Leather|

A Brief History Of Surprisingly Good Video Games Based On Junk Food |Gamma Squad|

2013 NBA Slam Dunk Contest: A Lot Of Missed Opportunities |Smoking Section|

KSK Mock Draft: Pizza Toppings |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Remember When Rihanna Said Chris Brown Doesn’t Have ‘The Luxury Of F*cking Up?’
|The Superficial|

The Screen Junkie Awards: The Most Insane Movies Of 2012 |Screen Junkies|

Lindsay Always Borrows Money From Ashton Kutcher That She’ll “Pay Back In A Few Weeks” |IDLYITW|

11 Words & Phrases From Downton Abbey’s Third Season |Mental Floss|

Body Slamming a Cactus |Clip Nation|

I Don’t Understand Japan and Their Giant Chocolate John McClane |Unreality|

Christopher ‘Ronnie’ Walken Was a High School Hottie (Here’s Proof) |NextMovie|

8 British and Irish TV Actors America Should Shamelessly Steal |Pajiba|

Academy Awards Category Preview: Best Actress |Film.com|

Insane Female Diver Grabs the Fin of a Great White Shark and Takes It For a Ride |Brobible|

“It’s Like Gangster Disney Sh*t. Allll Day.” |High Definite|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
FAN US on Facebook. SUBSCRIBE to the Frotcast.

Oh, just some fan art from Vin Diesel’s Facebook page, that’s all.

This week in remaking properties the target audience is way too young to remember, Universal has hired Neal Purvis and Robert Wade (a team that’s written five Bond movies and one Johnny English movie) to update the Telly Savalas detective show Kojak for a contemporary film. What’s more, Vin Diesel is set to play the lead role. Which makes perfect sense, because they’re both bald!

The series, which ran from 1973-78, was a popular procedural with an iconic cop, and the scribes will re-imagine and contemporize it for the big screen. Diesel, who just wrapped Fast And Furious 6 for the studio, will play the chrome-domed cop in the film, which he’s producing with Samantha Vincent for their Universal-based One Race Films. [Deadline]

You may remember that Ving Rhames played a modern version of Kojak for 10 episodes on the USA network back in 2005. Ha, just kidding, I’m not even sure Ving Rhames remembers that.

I’m sure you’re all huge Kojak fans and you own the box set on DVD, but just in case it’s been too long since you read the novelization, here’s quick refresher from Wikipedia (yeah, I know).

The series was set in the New York City Police Department’s Eleventh Precinct (the building shown was actually Ninth Precinct), Manhattan South Patrol Borough. The show revolved around the efforts of the tough and incorruptible Lieutenant Theodore (“Theo”) Kojak (Telly Savalas), a bald, dapper, New York City policeman, who was fond of Tootsie Roll Pops and using the catchphrase, “Who loves ya, baby?” The Greek-American Kojak was stubborn and tenacious in his investigation of crimes—and also displayed a dark, cynical wit, along with a tendency to bend the rules if it brought a criminal to justice. Savalas described Kojak as a “basically honest character, tough but with feelings—the kind of guy who might kick a hooker in the tail if he had to, but they’d understand each other because maybe they grew up on the same kind of block.“

That is an amazing description. I love that Savalas – who died in 1994 – was trying to explain that his character was a little rough around the edges but essentially good, and his first thought was, “well, he’d beat a whore’s ass, but only because he had to, and she’d respect him for it afterwards.” Was being a borderline personality a prerequisite for starring in a cop show in the seventies? Seems like it.

Meanwhile, I imagine that in the update, Vin Diesel will play dapper, mixed-race New York City policeman Alonzo Salvatore Kojak, who favors fur coats, feather boas, dark goggles, and blue tooth headsets, who isn’t afraid to BASE jump or rail grind if it’ll bring criminals to justice, who’s fond of NOS energy drink™ and is known for his iconic catchphrase, “get some.”

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Vin Diesel and a baby armadillo. You’re welcome.

Judging by his IMDB page, Vin Diesel is settling into the “I’m just going to keep making sequels of the movies that make a lot of money and Chronicles of Riddick” phase of his career, with the lone upcoming exception being The Machine. Otherwise, it’s The Fast and the Furious 6, a Chronicles of Riddick sequel (why?) and xXx: The Return of Xander Cage, which will finally explain how Diesel’s character can either return from the dead or survive without the back of his head.

The reason I bring the ol’ breakdancer, Mark Sinclair Vincent, up today is because I was looking for more Avengers rumors and I came across a picture of the Marvel character, the Vision (AKA Victor Shade or Jonas), and it was from Diesel’s Facebook page. Apparently, Diesel and/or his 35 million (partially ironic, I’m sure) fans believe that the star of The Pacifier should be added to the cast of the Avengers sequel as the alien who sometimes chills with the Avengers.

And seeing as Marvel basically wants to make a movie for any and every character and then cram them all into Avengers movies until they create the first-ever trillion dollar movie, like Jiro Nishi’s Taste the Golden Spray, this could probably happen. Ultimately, the picture reminded me that Vince had once posted a picture of Diesel and Usher that came from his Facebook page, and I thought, “Well, looks like it’s time to celebrate us some Vin Diesel fan art.”

Enjoy, won’t you? (And more here, thanks to Robopanda.)

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