Last time James Franco and Harmony Korine got together, they shot a film where James Franco BMX fights a bunch of naked gangster chicks (see above). If you’ll remember, that was for the same art show where Franco carved “BRAD RENFRO” into his arm. Now Variety says Franco and Korine are teaming up again for a film called “Spring Breakers,” starring Emma Roberts, Vanessa Hudgens, and Selena Gomez. That’s right, the queens of the Disney channel and the guy who did Trash Humpers. This positively reeks of dicknosery.

“Spring Breakers,” tells the story of four college girls who rob a restaurant to pay for their trip to the beach.
Roberts would play a Southerner who feeds off danger, while Gomez would play a religious girl. The rest of the group would include Hudgens [thanks, brilliant deduction there, Variety -Ed.]. Franco will co-star as a drug and arms dealer who bails them out of jail. [via Variety - Thanks to Larry for the tip]

The trip goes from bad to worse when Roberts falls in with a mysterious gay clown with cerebral palsy, and Gomez’s faith is tested by a botched abortion that leaves her addicted to heroin. Then, just when you least expect it…. DICKNOSE!

(*Vanessa Hudgens shoves Spaghettios up her vagina as a comment on consumerism, James Franco flies off in biplane cackling wildly, the bullwhip up his ass fluttering heroically in the breeze*)

CAN WE SHOOT THIS FIVE YEARS AGO?

Just yesterday it was rumored that Marvel plans to bring adaptations of their “third-tier” characters to the big screen, with smaller budgets of $20-40 million.  Today, the always accurate MTV UK (note: I have no idea whether MTV UK is accurate) brings the news, accompanied by a question mark in the headline, that Vanessa Hudgens is in talks to play Spider Woman.  I’d never heard of that character because I’m not a huge nerd, but apparently it is one, and not just a nickname for my stepmom.

A movie insider [ooh, a movie insider, you say?] stated: “The idea is for this to be a fun, comedic movie and Vanessa is perfect for the title role,”
They added: “Spider Woman is strong and sexy but in this case hilarious.Vanessa is apparently very interested in the idea.”

Well sure, that sounds like something that’s plausible. Which is almost the same as news.   But anyway, it is true that when I think “comedy”, I think “the 21-year-old girl from High School Musical who sent pictures of her P to Zac Efron.”  I can’t imagine a more gifted comedienne, really.  However, and this is a good rule of thumb, as a girl, your vag should never be hairier than your boyfriend’s chest.

All you really know to know about the Bandslam trailer is that 10 seconds into it, Vanessa Hudgens shrieks hysterically and bursts into a ska song (has her voice always been this bad?).  There’s also a reference to Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers, and a cast that includes Phoebe from Friends and David Bowie.  It’s like the screenwriter was stuck on the island from Lost.

*throws Billy Pilgrim reference in the trash* Another day, old friend.

[Thanks to Alfredo from Peru for the tip]

Watchmen “visionary director” Zack Snyder’s next project is called Sucker Punch, and it was recently announced that the cast will include sexy near-jailbait Amanda Seyfried, Evan Rachel Wood, Abbie Cornish, Emma Stone, and Vanessa Hudgens [does anyone else constantly misread her name as Amanda Hugginkiss?  Just me then?].

Snyder, who co-wrote the script with Steve Shibuya, has described the fantasy world as ” ‘Alice in Wonderland’ with machine guns,” blending such elements as dragons, B-52 bombers and brothels. [No tigers?]
Set in the 1950s, “Punch” follows a girl who is confined to a mental institution by her stepfather, who intends to have her lobotomized in five days. While there, she imagines an alternative reality to hide her from the pain, and in that world, she begins planning her escape, needing to steal five objects to help get her out before she is deflowered by a vile man. [THR]

Vile? Hey, screw you, man.  Don’t try to make it like I’m the pervy one.  A fetish for lobotomites is no different than one for feet or Asians or amputees.  I put the vile in virile.  Call me, ladies.  Or have your nurse do it.

With an intro by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, here’s the new trailer for High School Musical 3, which will premiere in theaters for the first time. Look, I’m all for tolerance and crap, but I’m not sure a world where kids don’t get beat up for doing stuff like this is a world I want to live in.