11 extras on Tom Cruise’s Nazi movie Valkyrie are suing United Artists (of which Tom Cruise is part owner) for $11 million after falling out of a truck during filming.

The accident happened almost exactly one year ago and saw all 11, still wearing their Wehrmacht uniforms, sent to the hospital with an array of injuries, ranging from bumps and bruises to broken ribs and pulled ligaments. One extra was kept in the hospital for four days on suspicion of internal injuries.

The actors fell onto the street when a fold-down side-rail on the bed of the truck — against which the thespians were leaning — failed. The group’s lawyer, Ariane Bluttner, says that United Studios knew that the trucks used in the filming were not entirely safe.

"The studio knew the trucks were rickety," Bluttner told SPIEGEL ONLINE. "There had even been an internal memo about the railings." [via Der SCHHCPPEEEEEGAL!]

$11 million? For bumps and bruises?  Boy, who would’ve guessed guys getting paid $50 to hang around a movie set all day on a weekday would go to such lengths to make money without working?  But, duuude, you don’t understand, I had a totally righteous joint in my pocket at the time and now it’s smaaashed. Totally harshed my mellow, bro.  You can’t put a price on that kinda pain and suffering. Well, I mean, you caan put a price on it, but it’s really high.  Hehe, really hiiigh.

Remember Valkyrie, that movie about the guy who tried to kill Hitler where all the Germans speak in English accents except for Tom Cruise?   It was originally supposed to open last week, then got bumped to President’s Day weekend in February.  Recently its release has been moved up to December 26th, based on "the strength of recent test screenings."  I don’t know much about December 26th, but the funny talkers call it "Boxing Day."

Boxing Day is a traditional celebration dating back to the Middle Ages, of which the primary practice is the giving of gifts to employees or to people in a lower social class. 

Well there you go.  Hope you like Tom Cruise movies you fucking poor ass losers. Consider this your Christmas bonus.

[AICN] 

Almost a week after Slate ran a shocking exposé concluding that the side-by-side photo comparison of Tom Cruise and the real Klaus von Stauffenberg (whom Cruise plays in Valkyrie) had used a doctored picture of Stauffenberg, they now say they plan to run a correction.

"We did not do the photo research that we should have done," Plotz said Tuesday evening. [AP]

It turns out that the photo of Stauffenberg from the AP Archives (above left) which Slate was comparing to the ad wasn’t the same as the Stauffenberg photo in the ad (above center), which came from a Getty Images database credited to the Hulton archive and dated 1943.

So there. You. Go.  Now, if only someone could explain why Tom Cruise talks like a Californian in the movie when all his fellow Nazis are all Englishman, that’d be great.  As long as it doesn’t matter, might as well make Hitler from Boston.  “Oh my gawd, I dunno about you guys, but I’m gettin’ so freakin’ ti-uhd a these freakin’ Jews.”

Today there’s an article in Slate about the side-by-side headshot comparison of Tom Cruise and Klaus von Stauffenberg which United Artists had released as part of the publicity push for Valkyrie.

Like most Slate articles, it’s about five times as long as it needs to be and sprinkled liberally with I-hope-I-sound-smart words.  But the gist is that UA (gasp) altered the original photo of Stauffenberg to make him look more like Tom Cruise.  You can see Slate’s side-by-side comparison photo above.  The original AP photo of Stauffenberg is on the left, the version of Stauffenberg used in the UA ad in the middle.  Clearly, the nose, eyebrows, cheekbones and width of the head have all been altered.  They have an overlay that shows the alterations even more clearly here.  It’s like everything I know has turned out to be a lie!  Please, Slate, let me go back in time and choose the blue pill!

FilmDrunk has learned that the photo of Tom Cruise was also doctored slightly, and has obtained a copy of the original.  In related news, I think a great name for a German pornstar would be Claus von Schtuppenberg.

The evil alien spirits that control the universe have struck yet another blow against Tom Cruise, as Valkyrie has been bumped from its release date for the second time.

The film (which is already destined for failure according to some jerkoff from Fox), stars Cruise as an inexplicably American-sounding Klaus Von Stauffenberg (the guy who tried to kill Hitler), and was originally supposed to hit theaters June 27. The release was later pushed to October, and has now been bumped all the way to February 2009.

With an early 2009 release, pic has moved out of awards season consideration — but into a slot with more box office potential, given recent performance. Clark Woods, MGM prexy of domestic distribution, said the studio wanted to take advantage of an opening in the schedule for the Presidents Day weekend. [Variety]

Ahh, yes, Presidents Day weekend; clearly peak blockbuster season.  After all, who could forget this year’s P. Day releases – box office juggernauts like Definitely Maybe, Jumper, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Step Up 2 the Streets, Diary of the Dead. …I mean, those are all movies, right?