As if the old “intertwining vignettes of rom-com clichés played by famous chicks” storyline wasn’t already enough of a testicle forcefield, What to Expect When You’re Expecting has released character posters of all the principles, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Brooklyn Decker, and Anna Kendrick… and they’re all pregnant. Five pregnant chicks. Revolting. MORE LIKE WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTORATING, AMIRITE? Not even Brooklyn Decker’s coquettish, “Oops, someone f*cked a baby into me, tee hee!” face could make this palatable. On the plus side, I emailed this to Burnsy and now our periods are synchronized. This ad campaign is the perfect gender-reverse of those Dr. Pepper 10 commercials.

“What to Expect When You’re Expecting: It’s not for men.”

Women be shoppin, y’all. Women be shoppin’.

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In a perfect world, I’d post just this screencap from the Sun without context or comment, just as a sort of Moment of Zen like they used to do on the old Craig Kilborn Daily Show.  But since I know you’ll all be demanding the story behind it, here it is:

The Mamma Mia star has been raving on once again about the word ‘minge’ that she has tattooed on her body.  Speaking of the odd artwork, she admitted: “It means vagina and kind of proud of it.  It’s my nickname. You can’t see it, but it’s called Minge and it’s slang in England. It has something to do with your pubic hair in the dictionary.” [TheSun]

That’s gross.  My roommate’s always leaving his pubic hair in the dictionary too, it’s nothing to brag about.  It’s just inconsiderate, really.  Anyway, that’s the story.  Be honest though. This raised more questions than it answered, didn’t it.

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Megan Fox says, “I’m really tired of being exploited and having everything I say sensationalized.  It’s an unbearable lifestyle.”  On that note, I think it would be really fun to exploit her by sensationalizing something she said.  To wit:

“Men are scared of powerful, confident vaginas.  But I wasn’t born with a special vagina.”

I don’t know, Megan Fox, I think I’d be much less fearful of a vagina strutting around town in a top hat and a silk suit than I would be of a vagina that drooled and had to take special classes.  Which is to say, I’m relieved, because it sounds like your vagina and I would be compatible.  Also, and I realize this is neither here nor there, but when I typed “vaginas” up there, my spell checker drew one of those red lines under it for being incorrect.  I right clicked to see what suggestions it had for me, and one of the first was “vagina’s.”  As if the designer of my computer couldn’t even imagine the prospect of two vaginas together, but frequently found occasion to say things like “Help, my vagina’s car broke down,” or “Dang, my vagina’s kids done shot up the school again.”    In conclusion, vagina.

When you call your movie “The Box” (though it used to be called “Button, Button,” which isn’t much better), put Cameron Diaz on the poster, and put a big red slit down her face, it sends a pretty strong subliminal message.  And that message is, “THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT PERIODS AND VAGINAS.  IF YOU COME SEE THIS, CAMERON DIAZ IS GOING TO HAVE HER PERIOD ALL OVER YOUR FACE.”

I’m not sure that’s a selling point, but hey man, don’t shoot the messenger.

^{WATCH THE MATTHEW FOX INTERVIEW AFTER THE JUMP} 

I didn’t remember this, but apparently in Knocked Up there’s a part where Katherine Heigl is supposed to go interview Matthew Fox from Lost and Seth Rogen says, "Hey, you know what’s interesting about him?  Nothing." Anyway, some dude over at MTV interviewed Fox recently and decided to make things really awkward by asking him about it, and Fox went out of his way to say he hadn’t seen the movie and had no interest in it.

“Those types of movies are not, like, my deal.” 
"Totally oblivious to it, haven’t seen the movie, it’s not my cup of tea, duuude."

Asked what kind of movies were his cup of tea, Fox said, "I like, you know, Fellini and Bresson and, like, other old filmmakers I’ve heard smart people talk about.  That one foreigner, he’s my favorite."  Poor lil’ guy, it was a cheap shot, I know.  Does your widdow vagina hurt?  Come here and let daddy kiss it and make it better.  Wait, no, that came out wrong.  …I’m going to be a horrible father.