No wonder he looks so happy!  Because he’s going to bite your vagina, get it?  …Aw crap, I actually have to report this story now, don’t I.  Lame.

An offbeat dramedy that Anonymous Content is producing, “Beaver” centers on the relationship between a man and a beaver puppet he wears on his arm, which he talks to and treats as a companion.  Kyle Killen’s script has generated enormous interest in development circles, drawing comparisons to “Being John Malkovich” and ‘Lars and the Real Girl.” [THR]

Uh oh.  This project, which topped last year’s black list – the list of the best unproduced screenplays in Hollywood – sounded awesome back when Steve Carell was attached. With Jim Carrey… not so much.  Then again, dealing with a beaver puppet shouldn’t be much of a stretch for Jim – he’s married to Jenny McCarthy!  (*rimshot*)

(I have no idea what that means)

The current issue of GQ has a feature and photo spread on Evan Rachel Wood – whom you may remember from The Wrestler, Thirteen, and her pervy Marilyn Manson video – and they were kind enough to send over some photos.  They say...

Evan Rachel Wood is that rare and ruinous combination of innocent girl next door and kinky neighbor down the street. [...] Recently, she was linked with her Wrestler co-star, the 56-year-old Mickey Rourke. “There was no truth to it, and it was so annoying,” says Wood, now 21, who is back with Manson after “taking some time” away from the relationship. Of Rourke, she says: “The friendship was intimate and nice, and this makes it weird.”

I say: I like this picture where she’s kinda spread eagled the best.  It makes me picture her vagina for some reason.  I guess I’m old fashioned like that.

Watch the trailer for Teeth here

One thing I like is when movies avoid gimmickry. 

High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her taks is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.

Yup, it’s a movie about a girl with a toothy vagine.  I thought that happened to a chick I was banging once, but then I realized just I hadn’t unzipped her pants yet.  Sometimes you just can’t wait, you know?  What can I say, I’m a passionate man.