Sh*tter's full, guys. Sh*tter's full.

New Line Cinema has hired writers John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein to reboot the classic Chevy Chase Vacation franchise, and if you’re about to shout at God and ask, “Why would they do this?”, don’t bother. You should have seen it coming.

The newest version will revisit the original National Lampoon’s Vacation cast, with Anthony Michael Hall reprising his role as the first Rusty Griswold, as opposed to the other Rustys, like pig face, the kid who was suddenly younger than Audrey, and Ethan Embry. Simply titled Vacation, the new film will focus on Rusty as the Griswold patriarch as he and his family embark on their first family trip, which will undoubtedly include them bumping into Clark and Ellen, because Chase and Beverly D’Angelo could probably use the cash.

Don’t worry, though, New Line says that the project is in good hands. Now punch that moose in the nose, L.A. Times:

The writers on the film (also the writers, incidentally, on “Horrible Bosses”) have finished a second draft of the script, and studio New Line is eager to get moving on the reboot, according to a person briefed on the project who was not authorized to talk about it publicly.

The company is reaching out to potential directors, said the person, including Pete Segal, the director of “50 First Dates,” who has some experience with reviving classic comedies, having directed the remakes of “The Longest Yard” and “Get Smart.”

Because when I think classic comedy revival success stories, I think The Longest Yard and Get Smart. But cynicism aside, this isn’t the worst idea to ever come from Hollywood. It could be nice to see a new Griswold clan hit the road and revive the hilarity of East St. Louis racism, dead family members and proud incest. That is, until they cast Rob Schneider as Cousin Eddie’s son and then all bets are off.

(The only Photoshop idea I could think of was “National Lamb Poon.”  I am… so very ashamed.)

Though Variety is reporting it like it’s new news, we’ve actually known for a while that New Line was doing a sort of sequel to National Lampoon’s Vacation, with David Dobkin (who directed Wedding Crashers but also Fred Claus) producing.  The new info is that they’ve hired two writers, Jonathan Goldstein (New Adventures of Old Christine) and John Francis Daley, whom you may remember as the weird kid from Freaks and Geeks who always had his mouth open like a jackass.

The latest project, which will no longer carry the National Lampoon credit, is being described as more of an update than a sequel and will be closer in tone to “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” than the previous chapters. Story will focus on Rusty Griswold, now a grown man, who decides to take his own wife and kids on a road trip to Wally World before it closes forever. Chase is expected to reprise his role as Clark Griswold, now a grandfather. [Variety]

I let a hooker give me a rusty griswold once.  Once.  Anyway, it’s hard to know what to make of this kid, since while this is his fourth writing credit, none of his projects have yet been finished.  But I can only imagine his process involves staring at the screen going “HURRRRRRRR.”

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s the funniest Chevy Chase movie?

National Lampoon’s Vacation (the one where they go to Wally World) has already had three sequels, which in the mind of movie execs, makes it ripe for another.

New Line is developing a sequel of sorts to the 1983 comedy classic, with David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus) attached to produce and possibly direct.  New Line is meeting with writers to write the script but the take is already developed: the story focuses on Rusty Griswold, the son of Clark Griswold, the protagonist of the initial movies portrayed by Chevy Chase. The younger Griswold is now a father himself and takes his family on a road trip vacation. The characters would acknowledge that first trip, making the movie more of a sequel than a reboot.

The original “Vacation” is a Warner Bros. property but as soon as New Line became part of the studio, exec Sam Brown began sifting through the parent company’s titles to see what was available in terms of rights. He eventually found “Vacation,” a movie he has watched more than any other in his life, and brought it to New Line president Toby Emmerich and production president Richard Brener, who jumped at the possibilities.

They’d probably jump for a frozen herring too. This is the problem with the movie business in a nutshell: the execs are too stupid or lazy or cowardly to read new scripts (or to ask the opinion of people they pay to read scripts for them), and instead spend their time trying find out which movies they already made that they can make again.  What is this, karaoke?  Grow some balls, you pussies.

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