(That Zach Galifianakis would show up to my work and pour bleach in my boss’s coffee was always a dream of mine)

I posted the teaser a while back, and now here’s the full trailer for Up in the Air, from director Jason Reitman (Juno), starring George Clooney and Vera Farmiga.  Hey, am I the only one who constantly misreads her last name as “farm nigga”?  Wait, is that racist?  …I should just drop this, shouldn’t I. It also stars the ever delightful JK Simmons, and has at least a cameo from Zach Galifianakis. I like the director and the cast, but the trailer doesn’t do much to make the story seem interesting.

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I posted the first clip earlier, and now Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air has a trailer.  We see cameos from Zach Galifianakis, Danny “I’m in every movie now” McBride, and Jason Bateman, all of it set to a George Clooney voiceover that seems really deep, but it’s probably just the piano music.

“How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack.  Now, I want you to pack it with all the stuff you have in your life.  You start with the little things: the shelves and drawers and nicknacks. Then you start adding larger stuff: clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… Your backpack should be getting pretty heavy now.  You go bigger.  Your couch, your car, your home.  I want you to stuff it all into that backpack.  Now, I want you to fill it with people.  Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office.  Then you move into the people that you trust with your most intimate secrets.  Brothers, your sisters, your parents, your children.  And finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend.  You get them into that backpack.  Feel the weight of that bag.  Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components of your life.  All those negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises.  The slower we move, the faster we die.  Make no mistake, moving is living.  Some animals were meant to carry each other, to live symbiotically over a lifetime: star-crossed lovers, monogamous swans.  We. Are. Not. Swans.  We’re sharks.”

I bet the hardest part of this for Jason Reitman was figuring out how to pitch such a philosophical concept to a bunch of movie execs.  But then one day he had an epiphany: “GEORGE CLOONEY… has a backpack… full of SHARKS.”

Pictured: The best JanSport ad ever.  [video via /Film]

Jason Reitman directs movies about every two years, which seems about right for staying relevant without overextending yourself.  This is the first clip from Up in the Air, his follow-up to Juno and Thank You for Smoking (the rare movie adaptation that’s actually better than the book). It’s based on a 2001 Walter Kirn novel about a guy on a personal quest to rack up a million frequent flyer miles.  In the clip, George Clooney and Vera Farmiga talk miles, upgrades, and the latest hotel trend — an atmosphere that is “faux-homey,” or “fauxmey.”  The term seems unnecessary as it relates to travel, but “faux-homey”? I think we’ve finally found the politically correct replacement for “wigger.” Used in a sentence: I went to Ben Lyons’ and Danny Masterson’s DJ show last night, and man can those fauxmeys spin!

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