Guess which one’s an Oscar winner

With lots of new films hitting DVD today, there’s something for every discerning fan of cinema.  Besides The Paperboy (pictured above) we’ve got new films with Jake Gyllenhaal, Patton Oswalt, Danny Trejo, and Olivia Thirlby.  There’s films about universal soldiers, imposters, fat kids, phone-sex workers, and samurais.  There’s warriors of witchcraft and witch’s brew, and even one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films.

The DVDs:
End Of Watch
The Paperboy
Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
Nature Calls
Death Race 3: Inferno
Searching For Sugar Man
For A Good Time, Call…
Nobody Walks
The Imposter
Officer Down
Tai Chi Zero
Fat Kid Rules The World
Hara-Kiri: Death Of A Samurai
Hansel & Gretel: Warriors Of Witchcraft
Night Of The Templar
Derby Dogs
Hold Your Breath
Dead Sushi
Witch’s Brew
Zombie Ed

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Can’t remember which one of these films is an Oscar-nominee?  Continue reading to find out.  Want to know why nobody walks?  Maybe it’s because fat kids rule the world, but you should continue reading just to be sure.  If you don’t really care and just want something to stream on Netflix, click the link above, but you’ll be missing out on a movie that gets the Dove Seal of Approval, despite featuring attempted vehicular manslaughter and scenes of people being covered in human excrement.  The choice is yours. Read the rest of this entry »

And the award for Most Highbrow Photoshop Concept goes to…not Chodin!

If in 1992 you had stepped out of a time machine and said, “Hey queer, in the future there will be a fourth installment of Universal Soldier and it’s going to be in 3D!” I would have probably praised that as one of the coolest ideas ever and then worshipped you as some kind of demigod. Though mind you that in ’92 I also thought Hypercolors were going to be the future of fashion -in my defense, I was waaay into crack cocaine and Satanism back then. Well, regardless of whatever we may think is or isn’t a good idea, news out of Cannes this week is that Jean-Calude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren will reunite in October for Universal Soldier IV. And yes, the film will be in 3D. Of course.

Details are still pretty scarce on the asinine project, but it does make me kind of sad that only now are we applying the concept of 3D to Jean-Claude Van Damme. I’m thinking that they should have started in the 80s and just made everything he’s ever done into three dimensions -interviews included. I mean, do you have any idea of the kind of sick sh-t that I would do if I could watch the below Arsenio Hall interview in 3D? Let’s just say that I’d be open to sexual adventures involving Sarah Jessica Parker and a Slap Chop.
Read the rest of this entry »