(It’s like the artist was inside my head!)
Most people know Danny Elfman as the famous composer responsible for the music on Tim Burton movies and The Simpson’s theme song — though to me and Roman Polanski, he’ll always be the guy who sang “I Love Little Girls“. Elfman recently composed an entire score for the new Wolf Man starring Benicio Del Toro, but according to Cinemusic, none of it will be used. And this is after the film already lost original director Mark Romanek because of creative differences.
Elfman has already written and recorded what, by all accounts was a traditional, grandly gothic effort a la Kilar’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Ultimately, it appears at this point that none of it will be used in the film. Rather than have Elfman come back and make changes due to major picture rehauls (and likely with his hands full scoring Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, he is unavailable), Cinemusic has confirmed that Paul Haslinger (Death Race 2000) will step in and record an entirely brand new score.
Firstshowing claims the change is due to Universal not liking Elfman’s score, even though he was new director Joe Johnston’s top choice:
I thought the first trailer for Universal’s CGI, 3D animated Despicable Me was interesting because it didn’t give away too much of the plot. Then again, I forgot it almost as soon as I posted it so what do I know. This is the second trailer, which seems to have a completely different plot than the first. This one makes it seem like it’s about Steve Carell’s villain character, Gru (who apparently speaks with a Russian accent the whole time), and his rivalry with a better super villain; the last one seemed to be about Gru’s plan to steal the world’s monuments. Then there’s the synopsis about Gru adopting some orphan girls. But it’s all more or less irrelevant because there’s a nut shot in the trailer, and you know my rule about nut shots in the trailer. Nut shots in the trailer are up there with the presence of Cam Gigandet when it comes to surefire predictors of a movie’s suckitude.
Also familiar with nut shots in a trailer? Your mom. (Because she lives in a trailer, you see.)
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What’s the best computer animated film for adults?
A
He-Man movie that had been in development at WB and since dropped, has been picked up by Columbia. The blogosphere had been really excited about the last He-Man script, because it was written by the guy who did Street Fighter: The Legend of Chris Klein’s Awful Acting and was described as “Lord of the Rings meets The Matrix meets Batman Begins”. It’s true, bloggers are stupid. Meanwhile, Universal and Mattel have announced plans for a movie version of Barbie. My favorite part of that story was the opening line.
Universal Pictures has added Barbie to its star stable.
Haha, ’stable’, get it? Because Barbie is a whore and Universal is a pimp. A ‘no-good pimp I wouldn’t trust to wash my car,’ specifically. Anyway, since this news is surprising to precisely no one, let’s all have a good laugh at how they try to justify this. Sure, I believe you, Universal, you’re just trying to pay your way through college. Now turn around so I can stick another Washington in your cooter.
Bloody-disgusting reports:
Universal Pictures is looking to restart Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles, which tells the tale of the vampire Lestat Du [sic] Lioncort (through his narration), a nobleman-turned-vampire in the late 18th century. [...]
We have confirmed this afternoon that ROBERT DOWNEY JR. is in close talks to play the vampire Lestat in Universal Pictures’ The Vampire Chronicles, a newly rebooted franchise based on Anne Rice’s popular novels.
No way. Robert Downey, Jr. as a dandy French vampire? I can just imagine the meeting at Universal:
“Vampires are so hot right now.”
“We haven’t turned every Anne Rice napkin-scribble into a movie yet have we?”
“If we call it a reboot we can use any book we want.”
“Great! Now who can play a femmy, blond, 18th century French nobleman and also deliver this pretentious emo dialogue without a hint of sarcasm or exasperation?”
“I’ve got it! Robert. Downey. Junior.”
“Magnificent. Make it happen. Now let’s bring the meeting to a close, shall we? Ramone! Bring in the biscuit.”
~ robopanda
Robert Rodriguez dropped out as the director of the Barbarella remake a while back, but now it’s going forward again — with the guy who did The Ugly Truth. Yay, I hope she’ll have vibrating underwear! Also, this version is going to be DEADLY SERIOUS. IRONY CANNOT SURVIVE IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE.
Joe Gazzam [if this were my name I would legally add an exclamation point. Gazzam! Gazzam! -Ed.] has been tapped to write the screenplay centering on the character that was immortalized by Jane Fonda in the 1968 original.
“Barbarella” centers on a female mercenary who roams the universe of a distant future, undertaking missions that require fearlessness, ingenuity and sensuality. The character debuted in 1962 and was known for her sexual escapades [sexy sexcapades, if you will]. There also was a musical produced in 2004.
The new take on the iconic character will not be campy, though it will keep the sexuality; there will be seductions, but the focus will be on the adventure. [THR]
No camp, you say? I hear Michelle Rodriguez is available. GRRR, HARDCORE SPACE LATINA! With soundtrack by Papa Roach.
