If I’ve learned anything in all of these years on this crazy spinning rock, it’s that the Internet is a place of many, many, many, many (a million times more) different tastes, and rather than try to understand them all, I should just accept most of them. That’s why when I fell into a Deviant ART wormhole the other day and ended up browsing through something called “morphs” before taking a strange turn into Fat Hollywood, I just said, “F*ck it” and rolled with it. Pun sort of intended.

I don’t really know how to describe this strange exercise in photoshop other than by pointing at the banner pic of an obese Megan Fox and saying, “That.” Basically, from what I can tell, there are a lot of people out there who appreciate the true beauty of some of Hollywood’s most famous and talented actresses, but they’d prefer them to have a little more meat on their bones.

To each his own is what I say, because life is short and we should enjoy whatever makes us happiest. At least that’s a new philosophy I’m trying to embrace these days. So I gathered some of the morphs and FAToshops (trademark pending) of my favorite gorgeous actresses so that we could all see their beauty from a new, well-rounded perspective.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, remember that Twilight riot at Hot Topic last week?  Well Tyra Banks invited three of the girls who’d been turned away at the event on her show and surprised them with Twilight memorabilia presented in person by stars Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (note to parents of boys: ‘Taylor’ is the fruitiest name ever).  But since this is Tyra Banks, and Tyra Banks is the worst person in the world, instead of just giving them the memorabilia, she made them compete for it.  In a pie-eating contest.

“I still can’t believe they are making you guys do this,” Pattinson said as the pie-eating wore on. “Oh, geez!”

Two of the girls tied. 18-year-old Tiffany Kuhne won a tiebreaker by precisely guessing the combined weight of the co-stars: 320 pounds. [That's about a buck sixty each for all you math majors out there (I used a calculator)]

Kuhne was blindfolded and led outside to discover that the “memorabilia” she’d won was the Volvo that Pattinson’s character drives in the movie, which opened Friday. [Yahoo]

To recap, a Twilight fan won a Volvo in a pie-eating contest.  Jesus Christ, do these girls not realize they’re being made fun of?  Why not just have a loneliness contest?  Winner gets a vibrator and a house full of cats.  “Congratulations. You’ll need these,” Pattinson would say.