PREPARE YOUR ANUS, etc.

	Film	Weekend	Per	Total
1	Rio	$26,800,000 (-31.7%)	$6,976	$81,261,000
2	Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family	$25,750,000	$11,254	$25,750,000
3	Water for Elephants	$17,500,000	$6,212	$17,500,000
4	Hop	$12,461,000 (+16.3%)	$3,446	$100,500,000
5	Scream 4	$7,154,000 (-61.7%)	$2,159	$31,158,000
6	African Cats	$6,400,000	$5,246	$6,400,000
7	Soul Surfer	$5,600,000 (-23.0%)	$2,500	$28,664,000
8	Insidious	$5,384,000 (-20.2%)	$2,528	$44,178,000
9	Hanna	$5,277,000 (-27.5%)	$2,214	$31,718,000
10	Source Code	$5,063,000 (-18.5%)	$2,143	$44,664,00

[based on early estimates, chart via CHUD]

This year’s Easter weekend box office was up from the past two, which is interesting given that it’s been a pretty down year, and that most of this week’s offerings still sucked.  Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family (starring Tyler Perry, based on the novel Tyler Perry by Tyler Perry), had the second weakest opening of the Madea quadrilogy (weakest of the ones where “Madea” was actually in the title), earning $26.8 million for the weekend (behind $41 million for Madea Goes to Jail and $30 for Madea’s Family Reunion) putting it at number two behind Rio.  Not incredible numbers, but good considering it probably cost $20 million or less to make, and that Tyler Perry probably scribbled the “script” on cocktail napkins while high-priced hookers changed his diaper.  I think Chareth said it best in his weekend preview: “Look, say what you will about Perry’s films being nothing more than lazy, offensive slapstick shoe-horned into an overwrought dramatic narrative, but you gotta admit that they suck.”  Call it a modest victory for coonery and buffoonery, anyway (I’m assuming here, it didn’t screen for critics).  All I know is that if Tyler Perry is going to keep making these Ernest-style Madea movies (Madea Goes to Jail, Madea Scared Stupid), he should at least have the decency to give her a humorous off-screen foil, a lá Vern.  Ooh, idea: he could name her “Quadrilogy.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Spike Lee starts feuds more often than he makes relevant movies these days, and one obvious target of his criticism has been hacky director Tyler Perry, whose movies Lee famously derided as “coonery and buffonery.”  (Lee later backtracked, saying he was annoyed that “coonery and buffoonery” were the only quotes anyone pulled from the interview.  But hey, that’ll teach you go for the easy rhyme.  I’M SICK OF THIS COONERY, SCHOONERY, BUFOONERY, AND ALL AROUND PONTOONERY!)

Now, on the eve of the Madea’s Big Happy Family release, Tyler Perry is firing back — against Lee, and predictably, all the h8erzz.

“I’m so sick of hearing about damn Spike Lee,” Perry said during a press conference Tuesday in Beverly Hills, Calif. “Spike can go straight to hell! You can print that. I am sick of him talking about me, I am sick of him saying, ‘this is a coon, this is a buffoon.’ I am sick of him talking about black people going to see movies. This is what he said: ‘you vote by what you see,’ as if black people don’t know what they want to see.”

“I am sick of him – he talked about Whoopi, he talked about Oprah, he talked about me, he talked about Clint Eastwood. Spike needs to shut the hell up!”

“I’m so sick of being asked about Spike Lee! So I told him to go to hell in front of a room full of reporters!  My logic is ironclad!”

Read the rest of this entry »

A few weeks ago, I laid out my thesis that Tyler Perry is the least cool black guy on Earth, as his attempts at parody are like watching Dan Quayle read Ice-T lyrics.  Today we’ve got some information on Perry’s next project, and although this time around there aren’t any posters parodying pop-culture, the synopsis itself is like a poster for self-parody.  Jesus, I think I even confused myself with that sentence.  Anyway:

Thandie Newton is set to re-team with her “For Colored Girls” director Tyler Perry on Lionsgate’s romantic drama “Good Deeds.”

Waaaaaait for it….

Perry stars as Glen Deeds, an affluent and successful entrepreneur who’s about to get married when he becomes enamored by a down-on-her-luck single mom, who will be played by Newton. [Variety]

GLEN DEEDS!  A “good” Deeds who does “good deeds!” Why, it’s a multi-level, double entendre title the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Good Will Hunting, or Tango & Cash!  Co-starring Thandie Newton as, and I’m only guessing here, “Poverty Temptation.”

Earlier this week, the above photo of a vandalized Wells Fargo ad tickled the blogosphere’s fancy, because we simply love making fun of Tyler Perry. The vandalized poster is a simple effort, as a brave artist (pronounced AR-TEE-STAH) took the face of Perry’s Madea from one poster and placed it on the other. Not exactly a hot stove plot for the next episode of Cold Case, unless they are willing to pay me a bucket full of cash to write it, in which case they better get Jaleel White on the phone.

This whole vandalized poster thing got me thinking, and I know that Vincenzo has been known to post a few movie items on here before, so I went searching for the best in vandalized movie posters and displays that the Internet could offer, and we struck gold with the help of our friends at i09, Saturated Entertainment, Neatorama, Slash Film, Tom Blunt, Blog-erhood, Terry’s Diary, This Blog Sucks, and my new favorite site, Defaced.

Now, this isn’t to say that we endorse vandalism of any sort, unless it’s by Banksy because we absolutely adore him! People work long and hard at producing poorly photoshopped movie posters and when they see a defaced picture of Matthew McConaughey leaning against Kate Hudson, well it’s just downright sad. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy acts of vandalism that have already occurred.

Read the rest of this entry »

Just to get you all up to speed, this is the second installment of our new feature, the week in posters. It saves us from wasting a whole post on a single poster by combining them all into one, a method which we like to call THE LIGHTNING ROUND!  (*relevant sound effect*)

This week in posters, we’ve got Thor, Tyler Perry, Kirk Cameron, and MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Read the rest of this entry »