Students and teachers at Bilgi University in Constantinople Istanbul are protesting the firing of three film professors after it was discovered that they allowed a student to film a porno as his thesis. The student, Deniz Ozgun, told his professors that his intention was to show that pornographic films “are also professional productions which simulate the look of an amateur, individual and/or homemade movies” and his professors agreed under the stipulation that he provide a “stronger intellectual point.” And he failed.

Ozgun eventually received a passing grade for the semester and he graduated, but he has now gone into hiding because of the scandal. Meanwhile, the professors’ peers are fighting for their reinstatement under the anthem of educational freedom. I think the dudes should get their jobs back just because they sound pretty cool. But to each his own.

Hey hey, ho ho, this penis party has got to stay, AOL News…

“Our main issue for the moment is problem of the academic freedom and civilized ways of dealing with abuses,” Nesin said. “Academic freedom is not about being allowed to drink coffee in one’s office. It is about being able to do research and to work on controversial issues. Academic freedom encompasses also possible judgment errors and mistakes.”

And academic freedom is also about letting a student showcase his ability to prove that the reverse-cowgirl-to-London-Bridge-to-piledriver can be featured in a professional manner.

But I think it’s clear that this film lacked maturity and the very professional nature that Deniz promised his professors because it only had two people. I’m sorry, but if my college professors gave me permission to make a porn, that thing is going to have at least six girls, some fireworks, an old man yelling obscenities, two Amish teenagers building a house around them, an oversized mouse trap with an autographed copy of Disorderlies in the middle, a piñata filled with scorpions and a velvet portrait of Don Swayze. A-f*cking-plus, son.

The other day I brought you the ridiculous-but-true news that the town of Batman, Turkey was suing Dark Knight director Chris Nolan for infringing on their… uh, I dunno, their batshit craziness, I guess.  Today, the fake head of WB (you may remember his previous response to Harry Potter fans) has issued a fake response, wondering, among other things, why they’re just getting around to suing now.

How convenient.  It just happens to be in the same year when our movie made more than your entire country did in the last f-cking decade.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we think your name is f-cking hilarious.  I mean ‘Batman, Turkey’?  Why don’t you sue turkeys while you’re at it?  Why don’t you sue the Ottomans in one of the living rooms of my several houses, you poor pieces of Turkish shit?  Why don’t you stick to what you’re good at?  Like being a nation of goddamned gypsies.

Huh, I always thought it was Romania that was the nation of gypsies.  Either way, both of those places are probably pretty crappy.  Ha, foreigners.  What are they thinkin.

[Thanks to Rob for sending this over]

Here’s a news lede that has everything:

ISTANBUL – The mayor of Batman, a city recently under scrutiny due to unsolved murders and increasing rates of female suicides, will sue the director of the movie “Batman” movie [sic].

Yes, there is a city in Turkey named “Batman”.  And the mayor is suing Chris Nolan.  Not DC Comics, not Warner Bros, but Chris Nolan.  My sources tell me the only reason he didn’t sue Adam West is that he can hear your thoughts.

“The royalty of the name ‘Batman’ belongs to us … There is only one Batman in the world. The American producers used the name of our city without informing us,” [Mayor Hüseyin] Kalkan told to the Doğan news agency.

Mayor Kalkan said last year foreign media picked up on Batman and the city’s increasing suicide rates among women. He said a columnist asked why Batman’s mayor did not sue the movie Batman for royalties while struggling with economic problems. “We found this criticism right and started to look for legal possibilities of a case like that,” he said.

Meanwhile, local newspaper Batman Çağdaş alleged yesterday that Batman residents living abroad cannot use Batman as a title for their business, leading the municipality to think about the royalty rights of that name.

Batman Çağdaş newspaper reported that Şafii Dağ, a former Batman resident, currently living in the Germany city of Wesel, is one of those citizens who cannot use Batman as a title for his business, according to the newspaper. “I named my two restaurants Batman. But six months ago, a team of employees from the production company of the movie Batman made me change the title. Telling them that Batman was the name of my hometown did not change anything,” Dağ said. [Hurriyet Daily News via GeeksofDoom - Thanks to Kevin for the tip]

You might wonder why a city in Turkey would be named Batman.  The answer is that it’s built on the banks of the Batman River.  Duh.