I haven’t had time to write reviews of all the movies I liked this year, so this is my half-assed attempt at penance.  And before you start bitching about how great Wanted is, I didn’t see it so I can’t include it.  Maybe it’ll make the end of the year list.

Number 9 (*drumroll, cymbal crash, dick helicopter*):
Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  This one I did review.  Not a total success, and Jason Segel was really the only believable character.  But the man was still pretty entertaining as a one-man show, and I respect anyone who goes full frontal for comedy.  I don’t even take my underwear off in the shower.

Number 8
Iron Man.  Plot?  Originality?  Character Development?  F-ck you, rocket arms.  Without Robert Downey Jr. I think this might have been a total disaster, but he’s that good.  Less like an A movie than a C movie that pissed its name on the moon.

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As pointed out by our friends at GorillaMask, DeezTeez has already created a shirt to commemorate Robert Downey’s classic “full retard” monologue from Tropic Thunder.  Can’t say as I’m surprised that they’ve made a shirt about it.  My only criticism: why the boring silhouette of a soldier?  Why not put the quote over a picture of a Liger? Boom, two pop culture references in one.

*pats self on back for avoiding a joke about Sarah Palin’s kid*
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Earlier today I wrote, “Kevin Smith has always seemed like a pretty cool dude.” In response, FilmDrunkard “T” sent me the above video. It’s old, but I hadn’t seen it before, and figured you probably haven’t either (I like to project like that). Anyway, it’s an old news story about religious whiners protesting Dogma, and Kevin Smith secretly joining their ranks. When the local news discovers him and interviews him about the movie, he still refuses to break character:

Smith: “I don’t think it stands for anything positive.”
Interviewer: “What does it stand for?”
Smith: “I don’t know, but I’ve been told …not good.”

Beautiful. It makes me sad Robert Downey Jr. didn’t dress up as a retard and Ben Stiller as his handler during the Tropic Thunder protests. “Ben Stiller is a bad man. His movies hurt my retard.” *RDJ groans like Chewbacca*

Our boy Sexman did a double review of Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express over the weekend. Personally, I don’t think it’s up to his usual journalistic standards. But cut the guy some slack, he’s still getting used to the braces. I only found one Sexman-ism this time:

It was nice to see James Franco not playing an asshole.

So remember Rain of Madness, that whole “making of” mockumentary on Tropic Thunder? I mean, not about, like, the actual Tropic Thunder, but the movie within the movie, which is also called Tropic Thunder? If that didn’t give you an aneurysm, today’s news is that you can watch Rain of Madness free on iTunes. All you have to do is register with iTunes and promise to sign your name on the devil’s cock with baby tears or whatever else is in their terms and conditions that no one reads.

The fake director is a German guy named Jan Jürgen, a cutesy parody of Werner Herzog and his intense existential voice overs in Grizzly Man. Jürgen is played by Thunder co-writer Justin Theroux (who’s also been hired to write Iron Man 2). I haven’t watched the whole thing, but it looks like it could be interesting. Or maybe Tom Cruise just dicks around in a fat suit and everyone raves about his ability to wear makeup. Find out for yourself!  Spin the magic wheel of chance!  *speeds away on unicycle*