(“Alpa Chino”, from Tropic Thunder)

Move over, Chad Farthouse, I think I have a new favorite name, and this one’s not even fake.  (I think. I keep rubbing my eyes and pinching my nipples and I haven’t woken up so far.)  Check it:

(from the DaytonDailyNews) The U.S. Marshal’s Service has arrested D’AlCapone AlPacino Morris or Dalcapone Alpaccino Morris, 20, who is wanted in the June 2 slaying of Richard A. Pogue.

The wanted man, whose given name combines that of an historic crime figure [Ed. Note: Dammit, people, the phrase is "a historic"] and a film star who has played crime figures, was found about 5:10 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 25, hiding under housing insulation in an attic at a home in the 3000 block of Nicholas Street.

Dayton police say Pogue, of Clayton, was shot to death during a drug-related robbery.

“Danger is my middle name.”  “Oh yeah?  Well mine’s ALPACINO.”  Yeah… so, uh, I’m not sure which direction I can take this story that won’t get me beaten up, but I can tell you that my first born will be named Sh’Tony Montana D’Brickashaw Rockafeller IX.  Followed by D’kidfromRobocop2 Lebron Corleone.  (thanks, Bdarbs)

This previously unreleased clip from Rain of Madness, the Tropic Thunder movie-within-a-movie, um, making-of documentary… uh, thing… recently hit the web.  I’m posting it because it has Robert Downey in blackface, and Robert Downey in blackface is like Jesus, but without all the religion-y stuff.  He really deserves to win the Oscar for this.  I know Heath Ledger was great as the Joker and all, but then again, screw you, Deady von Corpserson.

Now that Tom Cruise has been nominated for a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Les Grossman (a nomination which, let’s face it, is entirely conceivable that Cruise bribed and/or lobbied for), everyone wants to know what the next step for the character is.  And by ‘everyone’, I mean people who get paid to kiss celebrity ass for a living.

“I’ve talked about doing different videos with the character,” Cruise said. “I’ve started working with Ben [Stiller] on it, and we’ve kind of talked about different things to do. We were gonna do some in our free time, but we haven’t found the free time…yet.” [E! Online]

Wow, is that a threat?  Look, I know there are actually lots of respectable people who thought Les Grossman was funny. But if you’re one of them, ask yourself what was funny about it: was it the character, the dialog, the makeup, a combination of the three; or Tom Cruise’s vacant-eyed stare?  I humbly submit that any idiot off the street would’ve been better.  And as for trying to do Funny or Die videos with it or whatever: dude, just stick to filming your Scientology ceremonies.  Those are hilarious!

The Golden Globe noms came out today, and it was nice to see Tom Cruise recognized as a Best Supporting Actor for his three minutes of hilarious wigger dancing and fat suit wearing in Tropic Thunder.  Such a talent.  A lot of people probably wouldn’t have put him in there with Robert Downey Jr, Heath Ledger, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, but I think the video speaks for itself. They’re probably trying to make up for snubbing the Wayans Bros in White Chicks all those years ago. Elsewhere, Clint Eastwood was recognized for his awesome singing. No, really!

(Full list of nominees after the jump).
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Paramount has unleashed their viral “Kirk Lazarus for Best Actor” campaign, but I seriously think Downey deserves Oscar consideration.  Your move, Ledger.  Sorry, poor choice of words.  But basically it comes down to a guy in clown face versus a guy in black face.  I bet the Hip-Hop Magician is totally kicking himself right now.

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