The trailer for The Bourne Legacy, the fourth movie of the Bourne series with new star Jeremy Renner and new director Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton, Duplicity), appears below. It’s still called “Bourne,” but Renner plays a new punchy amnesia guy named Aaron Cross (not an unacknowledged actor switcharoo a la Bewitched). If you’re anything like Burnsy, you’re probably super duper excited right now. If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking “More like BORED legacy, am I right?” Seriously though, these movies are like Phil Collins’ keynote address at an oatmeal convention, and they’ve made four of them. I liked the secret-agent-with-amnesia plot better when it was called The Long Kiss Goodnight.

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Sony Pictures is currently in the middle of a worldwide orgy of webs and flash bulbs, as a new trailer and teasers for The Amazing Spider-Man were debuted at events in major cities all around the world. I’m going to assume that my invite was lost in the mail, but other more fortunate people were able to see the debut of a brand new 3D trailer that will be showing before the new 3D version of Star Wars: Episode 1 this weekend.

The 3D trailer won’t be available online until Wednesday, so take off those 3D glasses before someone points out how stupid you look. In the meantime, a 2D trailer was released in the wee hours of the morning and it reveals a lot more about the film, like how scary the Lizard looks and whether or not Denis Leary can tackle playing a New York City cop after years of playing a fireman. That guy’s got some serious range.

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Just like always, the Super Bowl yesterday was the only event of the year when people actually watch, let alone discuss, commercials. Almost all of them try to be funny these days, but it might surprise you to learn that a committee of professional salespeople trying not to offend anyone may not be the most effective way to create comedy. The only thing sure to be must-see TV are the GoDaddy commercials, because not even a thousand monkeys on a thousand tabs of acid with their brains set on shuffle could come up with as strange a combination of “hot-chick” spokespeople as Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser. Tim and Eric could huff ether-soaked rags for a week straight and not achieve that level of pure randomness.

Anyway, plenty of movies got in on the commercial action, including The Dictator, Act of Valor, The Avengers, GI Joe 2, John Carter, and Battleship. You can see all their spots here, and not on other sites, which I’ve never read, but I hear are for dong punchers.

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I’m pretty ignorant about the whole Hunger Games thing, so I just assume it’s a book series for teens and adult women smart enough to be embarrassed about reading Twilight (DO NOT DISPUTE ME). Anyway, the new trailer for the Gary Ross-directed movie adaptation is here, and… correct me if I’m wrong, but (note: NEVER CORRECT ME) isn’t this just a teen version of The Running Man meets Surviving the Game (starring Ice-T, Rutger Hauer, and Gary Busey)?  Not that that’s necessarily a deal breaker. I’ll put up with a lot to see Jennifer Lawrence running (*swoon*) and Stanley Tucci with a blue ponytail and a suit made of glitter (*double swoon*). The Tooch Man! I love it. Here, watch the trailer, and then show me on this doll exactly where it Tooched you.

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Jay Roach has had a weird career. (He also looks a bit like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, but that’s another story). Between directing horrific anti-comedies like Dinner for Schmucks and Meet the Fockers, he does acclaimed political retrospectives for HBO like Recount, about the 2000 election. In the same vein, Game Change is based on the 2008 book about the McCain/Palin ticket, starring Ed Harris† as John McCain and Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin. You can check out the trailer below, and just in time. It felt like it was almost five minutes since I’d last heard that c*nt’s name.

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