Yup, that's a dude.

You don’t get to be an actress as famous and as young as Kristen Stewart without having parents in the business, and Kristen Stewart is no different. While as far as I know, her mom (Jules) isn’t her manager like Katherine Heigl’s, she does still work. For instance, Jules Stewart recently directed K-11, the trailer for which you can watch after the jump.  It’s just your basic picture about a record producer who wakes up in the special unit of jail reserved for transgenders and homosexuals, K-11. Also, Jason Mewes and Deebo from Friday are there, and there’s some shitty, Marilyn Manson-type song playing over the whole thing. It’s kind of funny that they paint it as this hellish nightmare place, because I’m pretty sure gay jail is probably better than regular jail. Okay, okay, I’ll watch Bravo, just stop being so catty.

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What? It has Lucas, a black dude, and the color red. That makes it relevant.

Strap yourselves in, we’ve got another heavy week for new DVDs. This week there’s the Tuskegee Airmen, Tom Hardy, Daniel Radcliffe, a senseless film, nobody’s favorite stand-up, Boy George, Iron Man’s dad, two sides of the Japanese cinema coin, a better version of Battleship, a threesome, a surprising lack of vampires and werewolves, and the worst looking DVD I have ever seen.

The DVDs:
Red Tails
This Means War
The Woman In Black
Perfect Sense
Newlyweds
Footsteps
95 Miles To Go
United
Worried About The Boy
Up All Night With Robert Downey Sr.
The Secret World Of Arrietty
Mutant Girls Squad
Metal Tornado
American Warships
Beyond
Black Cobra
The Kane Files
Uncle Kent
An Unholy Exorcism: The Devil Inside
Evil Dead Inbred Rednecks

Fly on over to the next page and find out which films you’ll want to watch.  Click here for some Netflix picks that will really put some hair on your balls. Read the rest of this entry »

If you told me that you were making yet another movie about British royalty, I’d probably attempt to fit a scone and entire tea set up your ass. If you told me that same movie starred Bill Murray as FDR, well, the tea set would be a lost cause at that point, but I’d probably feel pretty bad about it.

In June 1939, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Academy Award nominee Bill Murray) and his wife Eleanor (Olivia Williams) host the King and Queen of England (Samuel West and Olivia Colman) for a weekend at the Roosevelt home at Hyde Park on Hudson, in upstate New York – the first-ever visit of a reigning English monarch to America. With Britain facing imminent war with Germany, the Royals are desperately looking to FDR for support. But international affairs must be juggled with the complexities of FDR’s domestic establishment, as wife, mother, and mistresses all conspire to make the royal weekend an unforgettable one. Seen through the eyes of Daisy (Academy Award nominee Laura Linney), Franklin’s neighbor and intimate, the weekend will produce not only a special relationship between two great nations, but, for Daisy – and through her, for us all – a deeper understanding of the mysteries of love and friendship. Opens December 7th.[FocusFeatures]

Okay fine, but if anyone stutters or gets diction lessons, I swear to God I’m walking out.

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An Uproxx editorial meeting

It’s been a long time since I had a movie-going experience as weird and wonderful as There Will Be Blood (apparently other people DON’T giggle like schoolgirls when a priest gets beaten to death with a bowling pin. Go figure.). Drive comes close. In any case, my man panties have been moist for Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master since it was announced. It stars Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams, and supposedly it’s an allegory for Scientology, but I doubt you’ll hear anyone admit that unless they like getting sued. Scientology is everywhere, man. Don’t piss them off. Just look what they did to John Travolta when he tried to leave– (*gets thrown in a black duffel bag by men in black suits, van speeds away*)

A 1950s-set drama centered on the relationship between a charismatic intellectual known as “the Master” [Philip Seymour Hoffman] whose faith-based organization begins to catch on in America, and a young drifter [Joaquin Phoenix] who becomes his right-hand man.

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Sony just released the first teaser trailer for Skyfall, the 23rd James Bond movie, starring Daniel Craig, opening November 9th. Sam Mendes directed this one, so even though Javier Bardem plays a villain, Bond’s real enemy is likely to be middle-class ennui.

Bond’s loyalty to M is tested as her past comes back to haunt her. As MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost. [IMDB]

“I’ll take a vodka martini and a carton of smokes. …20 pounds?? This time, it’s personal.”
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