Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming is back, and just in time to run down one of the worst weeks for DVD releases in recent memory. We’ve got big-budget box-office duds like Jack The Giant Slayer, moderately-budgeted duds like Stoker, and just plain embarrassing films like Movie 43 (pictured above). This week’s not so great selections run the gamut from giants to G-strings, with everything from opera singers to exorcists in between. It’s June -who really wants to be stuck in front of the TV anyways?
The DVDs: Jack The Giant Slayer Stoker Movie 43 Quartet 21 & Over The Last Exorcism Part II The Brass Teapot Summoned Divorce Invitation The Ghastly Love Of Johnny X Zero Killed The G-String Horror
If I’m being honest, one or two of these films do actually look watchable: it really is amazing what they can do with picture and sound quality on home video these days. If you want to know which films you shouldn’t skip, continue reading on the next page. On the other hand, if you’ve already seen The Brass Teapot, feel free to hop on over to the Netflix Instant suggestions by clicking the link above, but if you do you’ll never know which film I think might hold some promise. Read the rest of this entry »
Late last night I posted the red-hot trailer for The Wolf of Wall Street, Martin Scorsese’s latest film starring Leonardo DiCaprio as millionaire playboy stock swindler Jordan Belfort. While that one had a chimp wearing rollerblades, The Wolves of Wall Street has ERIC ROBERTS. Released just 11 years ago (even before Belfort published his book, as far as I can tell – the nickname “Wolf of Wall Street” has been in use since the teens), The Wolves of Wall Street teamed Eric Roberts with director David DeCoteau, who went on to direct Roberts in everything from A Talking Cat?!? to Halloween Puppy. It appears to be their first collaboration, which makes The Wolves of Wall Street to DeCoteau and Roberts what Bottle Rocket is to Wes Anderson and the Wilson brothers. I mean, if Wes Anderson’s movies were known for having a really bad sound mix and animals in the title.
You may remember that DeCoteau is also semi well-known for directing softcore gayish porn about shirtless twinks in dangerous situations. They soft peddle that aspect of it a bit in the trailer, though it seems to be the main draw, judging by the Amazon reviews:
“When the handsome young stock brokers started taking off their clothes, stripped down to their tight black shorts, and crawled on their knees with their hard bodies and bulbous rears well exposed, I knew I was watching a David DeCoteau film. The fact that it wasn’t a film just short of being soft core gay porn didn’t confuse me in the slightest. The scene made no sense, and DeCoteau finds the strangest reasons to strip his boys down into their underwear.”
“I thought the ending was a little bad, (I love how the werewolves just stand around to be killed), and I felt that Jeff was a bit of a jerk to the pack alpha, whom I felt was a fairly nice guy for a monster. Peeves? I was kind of bored at the beginning but this film really picks up. Rated R for nudity, sex, and violence.”
“The homoerotica was just lame. I’ve seen just about all of David Decoteau’s films and in all honesty, I’m never expecting much, except a bunch of pretty boys prancing around in their undies. But I will say this, if you’re going to continue to make movies with homoerotic undertones, then be bold for once and actually have gay characters in your movies! Show a man/man kiss for a change.”
“Having read the previous reviews before seeing the film, I was pleasantly surprised that there was still a similar level of homoeroticism in this film as in the other films of the Director. This film is worthwhile just to see Bradley Stryker again.”
“In the flashback in question, the brokers all strip off their clothes Chippendale’s style, then crawl to a pair of seated female models, sniffing and licking their hands and legs while the women moan (but look like they’re yawning). Meanwhile, the sound of wolves growling plays on the soundtrack. What do they plan to do to the women? Seduce them? Eat them? Hump their legs and pee on the carpeting? I never figured it out.”
“I still can’t figure out the creepy scenes with the guys in their jocks licking on the two girls in the chairs (two guys per girl). That scene keeps reappearing and all they they do is lick???”
I’m fascinated by David DeCoteau. If you watch the trailer, it’s like they’re not even selling a homoerotic twink movie at all, and yet that sounds like exactly what it is. Why would you try to make people think it’s a mainstream movie about stock brokers? Element of surprise? Was he hoping that the target audience would just discover the homoeroticism on their own? Or was he actually trying to shoot a legitimate movie, but then the full moon hit and all of a sudden he found himself filming shirtless twinks licking stuff again like a gay werewolf? I really think David DeCoteau might be the Ed Wood of our generation.
HBO’s summer documentary series continues tonight with Love, Marilyn, from Academy Award nominated director Liz Garbus, previously of Bobby Fischer Against the World and There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane. Her latest explores the myth of Marilyn Monroe, the obsession of every hairdresser and junior college art major.
One of the most enduring icons of 20th-century America, Marilyn Monroe invented an endlessly fascinating public persona, but also concealed a private side known only to her closest confidants. A half-century after her death, her creation still blazes brightly in the cultural imagination, while its creator remains in the shadows. LOVE MARILYN draws on recently discovered personal papers, diaries and letters, brought to life by an all-star cast that includes F. Murray Abraham, Elizabeth Banks, Adrien Brody, Ellen Burstyn, Glenn Close, Hope Davis, Viola Davis, Jennifer Ehle, Ben Foster, Paul Giamatti, Jack Huston, Stephen Lang, Lindsay Lohan, Janet McTeer, Jeremy Piven, Oliver Platt, David Strathairn, Lili Taylor, Uma Thurman, Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood. LOVE MARILYN features remarkable footage, audiotapes and rarely-seen photographs, as well as a recently-discovered trove of Monroe’s own handwritten letters, diaries, notes, poems, journals and notebooks, which document her private life against the backdrop of her very public life and loves. LOVE MARILYN premieres MONDAY, JUNE 17 (9:00-11:00 p.m. ET/PT), exclusively on HBO.
I’m curious about this one, because I’m honestly a bit baffled by the whole Marilyn Monroe mystique. To me it’s always struck me as a bit like those Cosmo covers where Bar Rafaeli or whoever dishes on her beauty secrets. I mean, people liked Marilyn Monroe because she was pretty and nice, right? We always think pretty, charismatic people are going to give us some insight on how to be more attractive and charming ourselves, but let’s be honest, most of us are just turd-filled gym socks and we’re happy if we can keep poop from leaking out in front of company.
Few people I write about inspire as much passionate hatred as Michael Cera, which sort of bums me out because I truly believe that there aren’t many comedy actors out there who can pull off the kinds of scenes he can. I assume most of the hate comes from him playing a lot of similar characters (a complaint no one makes about Jack Nicholson), but as if to throw the haters a bone, here’s Cera playing a weird, fruity, drunken ex-pat in Chile who becomes some kind of fatal attraction for Juno Temple in director Sebastián Silva’s Magic Magic, which played at Sundance and hits DVD August 6th. At least it’s a departure, right? And don’t tell me Michael Cera isn’t totally pulling off creepy here.
Incidentally, “Hey, you wanna come pull off creepy?” is one of my favorite pick-up lines.
Never trust ANYONE wearing a cable-knit sweater.
FYI, Cera and Silva have another collaboration, Crystal Fairy, getting a limited theatrical run from IFC in July.
Here we have the trailer for Diana, and not a moment too soon. You can never have too many films about British royalty, I always say. (Note: I do not say that). Diana is directed by Oliver Hirschbiegel, director of the meme-infamous Downfall and its constantly repurposed Hitler scene, and promises to tell the story of how she was famous and blonde and beloved the world over for being famous and blonde. Wasn’t she glamorous?? Remember how she was constantly photographed?? And then suddenly, she was tragic and dead and famous and blonde, and for a time was the most tragic dead famous blonde in the world. The soundtrack, if I’m not mistaken, is Elton John’s “Candle In the Wind,” which was originally written for Marilyn Monroe, but can really be applied to any tragic dead famous blonde. RIP, Di, a shining example of how famous fame can make you.
