Later today you’ll be able check out this weekend’s movie guide, featuring all of those great movies that you’re looking forward to seeing by yourself, but one film that arrives in theaters today simply deserved its own post. Mardi Gras: Spring Break is the tale of three friends who decide to go on the craziest Spring Break in the history of mankind, because this movie needed to be made again. And again. And one more time for luck.

Mardi Gras stars Nicholas D’Agosto, who played that flying kid when “Heroes” started to suck, and Josh Gad, whose IMDb profile suggests that he is the recipient of all the roles that Jonah Hill stopped receiving, as two poon-starved friends who are joined by a third that I forgot to look up as they embark on their rites of manhood.

For three college guys, it’s senior year and the co-ed experience has left them high and dry. Their solution: A road trip to Mardi Gras, where beautiful babes are happy to lift their shirts and open containers are always welcome. But after dressing in drag, breaking into Carmen Electra’s hotel room, starring in a scandalous sex show and accidentally exploding a feces bomb in a swank hotel lobby, will the Mardi Gras magic kick in and their wildest fantasies come true?

(Via Movieweb)

When was this movie written? Did Dean Cameron and C. Thomas Howell bury this script in a time capsule with specific instructions for writer Josh Heald to not dig it up again until the world was ready for another glorious Spring Break adventure? And Carmen Electra plays herself. I would have guessed a grandmother.

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For a while, it seemed like Sam Worthington was on pace to star in every movie for the next 10 years, but even an A-lister has to stop to roll around on top of his pile of Avatar cash for a few months. Worthington is back now with Man on a Ledge, playing a cop who spends two hours threatening to kill himself. Admittedly, I don’t know much beyond that so I turned to IMDb’s trusty cabal of commenters for the plot synopsis, which I have not edited for the sake of humor.

An ex-cop framed turned con threatens to jump to his death from a Manhattan hotel rooftop. The nearest New York Police officer immediately responds to a screaming women and calls dispatch. More Officers arrive with swat and tactical command along with FDNY. The NYPD then dispatches a female police psychologist personally requested to talk him down from the ledge. However, unbeknownst to the NYPD on the scene, the suicide attempt is a cover up for the biggest diamond heist ever pulled. Be ready to journey on a roller coaster ride of many twists and turns and see what happens! Written by Anonymous

Damn you, Anonymous. Is there no corner of this Internet that you can’t reach?

Thankfully, Man on a Ledge has a trailer out now, so we don’t have to guess the plot based on the description of my 10-year old niece. The film also stars Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Ed Harris, and Edward Burns, who I tell people I’m related to so I can feel cool.

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Last night, Austin’s Fantastic Fest kicked off a week of honoring “horror, fantasy, sci-fi, action and just plain fantastic movies” with the opening night party, and the highlight of the evening was the debut of The Human Centipede 2. To show proper respect to the sequel to Tom Six’s 2010 horror tale of a mad doctor’s fetish for ass-to-mouth, the people at Fantastic Fest even organized the world’s largest Human Centipede Conga line. They clearly didn’t make it to my Bar Mitzvah.

But for those of us who couldn’t make it to Texas last night, all we have for now is the film’s new poster, which is, of course, not exactly theater-friendly. Check out the poster after the jump, as well as a patron-friendly alternative created by one unique theatre.

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I don’t normally get excited for comedies, not since the colossal letdown of Philadelphia, but I have to say that this new trailer for Jason Sudeikis’ latest movie is really putting my keys in a bowl. A Good Old Fashioned Orgy stars Sudeikis as a Peter Pan frat-boy-type, stuck in a life of partying as all of his other friends are trying to grow up. Don Johnson plays his buzzkill dad, who decides to sell the family’s vacation home, which has long been the locale of Sudeikis’ antics.

Sudeikis and his friends declare that they need to host one final bash to send off the house in their unique style and that party’s theme is an orgy. Jumping in for the sex party are Will Forte, Nick Kroll, Martin Starr, Lake Bell, Leslie Bibb, David Koechner, Lucy Punch and Tyler Labine, among others. Back in May, Vince asked why there wasn’t a trailer for this yet. Well I have it now after the jump, because he doesn’t love you guys like I do.

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The latest trailer for the JJ Abrams-directed and Steven Spielberg-produced Super 8 was revealed today, as the movie’s Twitter page delivered a link to a Twitvid page, bringing us to an all-time high for Twitter references in an opening sentence. The trailer gives us a glimpse of a simpler time in America, as a group of pre-teen friends sets out to make their own movie. Nowadays it would, of course, be a sex tape.

According to the film’s synopsis:

“In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth – something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined.”

Spoiler alert: It’s Kirstie Alley naked.

Trailer after the jump…

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