Classy move, guy who put Gabourey Sidibe next to the Empire State Building

It’s Tuesday and you know what that means – we’ve got a bunch of new old movies from which to choose for our home viewing pleasure.  This week we’ve got quite an eclectic mix: a couple movies that were snubbed by the Oscar nominations, two of Burnsy’s 10 Worst Films of 2011, some British imports, the usual gems that got lost at the theaters, and a half dozen awful looking amateur grindhouse flicks.

Today’s DVD releases:
Tower Heist
The Son Of No One
J. Edgar
Martha Marcy May Marlene
The Way
The Mighty Macs
London Boulevard
Retreat
5 Star Day
POP-U-larity!
Zaat
Jesus, The Total Douchebag

Click on over to the next page for the details.  To jump straight to some new additions streaming on Netflix, click here.

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Pictured: They don't know how she does it.

And now for your daily dose of easy Schadenfreude, the top 15 flops of 2011. While it’s easy and fun to tap dance on the grave of most of these ass piles (pour a little rum out for The Rum Diary – *I* liked it), remember: justice won’t truly be served until everyone involved in the making of New Year’s Eve gets shot out of a cannon.

1. Mars Needs Moms
Studio: Disney
Release Date: March 11, 2011
Budget: $150 million
Worldwide Gross: $39 million

2. Sucker Punch
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens
Release Date: March 25, 2011
Budget: $82 million
Worldwide gross: $89.8 million

3. Arthur
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Garner
Release Date: April 8, 2011
Budget: $40 million-plus
Worldwide Gross: $45.7 million

4. Green Lantern
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively
Release Date: June 17, 2011
Budget: $200 million
Worldwide Gross: $219.9 million

5. Cowboys & Aliens
Studio: DreamWorks/Universal
Stars: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford
Release Date: July 29, 2011
Budget: $163 million
Worldwide Gross: $178.8

6. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie
Studio: Fox
Stars: Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Darren Criss
Release Date: Aug. 12
Budget: $9 million
Worldwide Gross: $18.7 millon

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The hot dogs came from Ratner's "private craft services backpack"

For all the crappy movies he makes, I could kiss Brett Ratner on his fat, nacho-cheese-and-vodka stained face for all the amazing content he provides this blog. Fresh off outing himself as the guy who allegedly jizzed on Olivia Munn’s dressing room ceiling while chowing shrimp — his defense, “She wasn’t Asian then,” — is this account of a Tower Heist screening in LA.

According to Twitter and several Vulture sources: After a screening of his film Tower Heist at L.A.’s Arclight Cinemas, the director came out for a Q&A, and when asked by the moderator whether he prepares and rehearses with his actors before shooting a scene, Ratner waved his hand dismissively and said, “Rehearsal is for fags.” [Vulture]

Rehearsal is for fags. That is the most magnificent and telling thing I’ve heard since Michael Bay said, “I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”

And on that note, I was hoping you guys could help me come up with a list of other things Brett Ratner thinks are “for fags.” Here’s what I’ve got so far:

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Hey, come on, guys, Tower Heist wasn't THAT bad...

The big news at the box office this week was that Brett Ratner’s torn-from-the-headlines tale of greed and sassy fat Jamaicans, Tower Heist, was a huge disappointment, landing in second place and bringing in $10 million less than most analysts projected. That would be great news, I guess, except the excitement is tempered somewhat by the fact that people expected Brett Ratner’s schmucky, bad vaudeville romp to make $35 million in the first place. Meanwhile 50/50, the rare non-genre-garbage movie that was actually about something, has made $32 million so far in its entire six-week run.

It seems like it used to be that studios would put out a movie they thought was good and maybe it would be a disappointment, and then decide, okay, the crowd has spoken. These days, it just seems like the crap gets shoved down everyone’s throat before anyone has a chance to make a decision, because that’s what someone assumed the public wants. I know, I know, no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public and all of that, but that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to try. Come on, tell me that wasn’t the idea behind Jack and Jill.

Anyway, Puss in Boots was number one for the second weekend in a row with $33 million and blah blah blah who cares. Full top 10 after the jump.

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Not pictured: Gabourey Sidibe's trailer window.

Opening Everywhere: Tower Heist, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Opening Somewhere: The Son of No One

FilmDrunk Suggests: Are you kidding? TOWER HEIST! Did you read Vince’s review earlier? It’s the most unintentionally hilarious comedy since Ishtar. And of course we love Brett Ratner here. He’s the best tiny-donged crustacean jerker ever. Go see Tower Heist now.

Tower Heist

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 68% critics *cough, bullsh*t, cough*, 71% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“This is, of course, Hollywood schlock, directed by shlock-master Brett Ratner (Rush Hour). But it’s also a surprisingly effective social drama. Ratner keeps the action rooted to the here-and-now, offering a recession-times revenge fantasy where the motivations never feel fantastical, even if the heist itself does.” – Robert Levin, The Atlantic

“That proves a road way too traveled for Heist, whose finale suggests itself around the opening credits. Murphy’s lines play as conventionally humorous as Alda’s are conventionally loathsome.” – Scott Bowles, USA Today

Eddie Murphy is back in top form, reason alone to see Tower Heist, a highly entertaining and heartfelt action comedy that ought to steal more laughs [GET IT? LOL -Ed.] than any other film this holiday season. Because it doesn’t take itself too seriously or get too wrapped up in a convoluted plot, it’s actually more fun than Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13 added together. [...] With its old fashioned sensibilities and comic stunts, this crowd-pleaser is implausible if you stop to think about it—but who wants to think? -Pete Hammond, BoxOfficeMagazine

Armchair Analysis: What I love about the idea of this film is that millionaires are trying to pretend like they know how the disenfranchised minimum wagers feel. That’s why Levin’s little excerpt up there is a load of poopy. Like Brett Ratner really understands what the little people are going through when he wraps a film, has some Mexican guy drive him home in a stretch Hummer limo and then spends 20 minutes ordering hookers from a leather-bound catalog. If you’re a hotshot Hollywood director and you want to make a revenge film set against this economic turmoil? Have the IRS investigate the Kardashians and let them be deported to Armenia.