I bet that jacket is super noisy.

Well friends, it’s an absolutely crazy time for new DVDs.  With both Christmas and New Year’s Day falling on Tuesdays, the whole Tuesday release schedule has been messed up. We’ve got a ton of movies coming out today, but there’s also a handful coming out this Friday, but don’t worry because I’m covering all of them.  Besides Total Recall and the latest Clint Eastwood flick (as an actor if not director), we’ve got flicks with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Richard Gere.  We’ve got Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey’s ass.  There’s the latest Resident Evil flick, that movie about college singing groups, and so much more.  There’s sleepwalkers and motocross bikers and paralyzed guitarists.  We’ve even got  evil robots and the latest flick from Spike Lee!

The DVDs:
Total Recall
Trouble With The Curve
Premium Rush -available Friday, 12/21
Arbitrage -available Friday, 12/21
Killer Joe -available Friday, 12/21
10 Years
Resident Evil: Retribution -available Friday, 12/21
Pitch Perfect
Liberal Arts
The Good Doctor
Sleepwalk With Me
Red Hook Summer -available Friday, 12/21
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
Bro’
Jason Becker: Not Dead Yet
Forced To Fight
Fred & Vinnie
The Frozen
The New Republic
Android Insurrection

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Holy cow, that’s a lot of movies hitting DVD this week. But wait, there’s more! Three flicks have decided to buck the trend of coming out when people are actually shopping, so here’s a quick breakdown of the three movies coming out in the next two weeks as well:  The people behind the abysmally reviewed Bradley Cooper flick, The Words, have tried to bury it by releasing it on Monday, December 24.  They are right to do it, and we should honor their desire to have their movie forgotten.  Instead of seeing that,  hold out for another week until Monday, December 31st.  New Year’s Eve sees the release of Looper. I thought it was great, and Vince’s review gave it an ‘A-’.  If that isn’t your cup of tea, Cosmopolis comes out on New Year’s Day. Vince’s review gave it a ‘C’, but it’s from David Cronenberg, who is awesome, so who gives a f*ck what Vince says?  He hates everything, Looper excluded. If your New Year’s resolution is to watch less DVDs, click on that streaming link above to go straight to your Netflix resolution loophole, but to be honest, you’ve chosen a very strange resolution, and you could still read about the DVDs, even if you never plan on watching them.  Hell, I don’t plan on watching most of them either. Read the rest of this entry »

QUAAAAAAIIID. BARK THE REACTOR. [via Fck Yeah Dementia]

MORNING LINKS
Attempting to Recap Katt Williams’ Epic Meltdown |Film Drunk|

Matt Louv returns with some more Rejected OKCupid Emails |Frotcast|

This is how the zombie outbreak begins.
[via Videogumblr]

The Most Popular Woman On The Internet In 2012 Is Somehow Not Kate Upton |UPROXX|

‘SNL’ Recap: Jamie Foxx And Ne-Yo
|Warming Glow|

Meet The Albanian Bear, A 13-Year Old With 22 Championship Belts |With Leather|

Comic-Con New Orleans Recap: CM Punk, The Green Power Ranger And A Whole Lot Of Awesome
|Gamma Squad|

Claudia Sampedro Models The Jordan Retro 11 “Black & Red” |Smoking Section|

And Here’s Reggie Bush Getting Suplexed |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Stephen Baldwin Blue Steel’d The Shit Out of His Mugshot |The Superficial|

17 Uncomfortable Moments Under The Mistletoe |Buzzfeed|

Ugh, Jurassic Prank! |Videogum|

The Accidental Birth of Wrapping Paper |Mental Floss|

‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ To Creep The Hell Out Of Broadway Audiences |Screen Junkies|

The 15 Best ‘SNL’ Moments Of The Year |HuffPost|

Megan Fox Only Gained 23 Pounds When She Was Pregnant |IDLYITW|

Caption Britney Spears’ reaction when a fan told her “I love you in Crossroads” |Fark|

Jack Russell Pulls Baby’s Sled |Clip Nation|

I Think the Guy who Writes Movie Descriptions Got His Girlfriend Pregnant |College Humor|

15 Random Television Quotes About America’s Greatest Pastime: Drinking |Pajiba|

Five TV Characters You Can’t Help But Root For |Unreality|

80s and 90s Sports Swag That Needs to Make a Comeback |Brobible|

Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal |High Definite|

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Having directed Total Recall, Robocop, Starship Troopers, Hollow Man, Showgirls, Basic Instinct, and others, no director has been able to ride the line between terrible and awesome (and awesomely terrible) quite like Paul Verhoeven. The 74-year-old Dutchman recently sat down with GQ on the eve of the release of the remake of one of his most successful films, and as always, the man didn’t disappoint.

GQ: Let’s start with the three-breasted woman: maybe the most iconic image from Total Recall. Was she your idea?
Paul Verhoeven: Well, yes. I had asked for a woman with four breasts. Anatomically that is possible with additional nipples. I saw photographs of that when I was at university. But from an entertainment point of view, I think three breasts were more interesting than four breasts.

That answer is so dense with backstory I wouldn’t even know where to start with the follow up. First of all – four breasts is possible “with additional nipples?” What does that even mean? Isn’t any number possible with additional nipples? And where are these photographs of four-breasted women that were going around when you were in college? Holland, man. It’s a f*cking free-for-all over there. I imagine Holland in the seventies being like a porn version of The Island of Dr. Moreau.

If you’ve ever heard the Total Recall director’s commentary with Verhoeven and Schwarzenegger, you know what a perfect combination of goofy, perverted foreigners those two make. I can only imagine what it must’ve been like on the set. “I vant a hookah viss four breast!” “Ya ya, give her foah breasts and three mulatto ass!”

Read the rest of this entry »

“My God, Jenkins, America has Mars fever! Everyone’s talking about it! And on the same weekend as our movie opens! You can’t buy this kind of publicity! It’s serendip– wait, what’s that you say? They don’t even go to Mars in our version? SON OF A BITCH! Now what am I going to do with all this cocaine?” -A Sony exec watching the Mars rover landing yesterday, probably.

The Dark Knight Rises held onto the number one spot at the box office over the weekend, holding off a weak-opening Total Recall remake, which only made $26 million (on a reported $125 million budget). By now, poor Kate Beckinsale must realize what a big loser her husband is (Total Recall director Len Wiseman). I’m sure she’ll start answering my phone calls pretty soon, or at least one of the love letters I spelled out on her lawn with her dead pets, chicks love that romantic stuff.

Meanwhile, TDKR earned $36.4 million, slightly less than The Dark Knight’s $42.7 in its third weekend for a total of $354.6 million (domestically), $39 million less than TDK’s total through the same point. Between the Olympics, the Aurora shooting, and me jinxing it by choosing it in our fantasy summer box office pool, it’s had a tough run.

Total Recall opened to an estimated $26 million from 3,601 locations this weekend. That ranks second all-time among Philip K. Dick adaptations behind Minority Report ($35.7 million) but slightly ahead of the original Total Recall ($25.5 million). Unfortunately, the original Recall opened 22 years ago and therefore had substantially higher initial ticket sales.
Distributor Sony Pictures is reporting that the movie’s audience was 58 percent male and 53 percent were 30 years of age or older. They awarded the movie a poor “C+” CinemaScore.

Okay, so they didn’t really like it. The good news is, not that many people saw it.

Read the rest of this entry »

"No, please don't make me watch Phone Booth, Alexander, American Outlaws, or especially London Boulevard."

Opening Everywhere: Total Recall, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, 360

Opening in Limited Release: Kung Fu Hustle

FilmDrunk Suggests: If you’ve never seen it before, I strongly recommend you find the time for and a theater showing Kung Fu Hustle this weekend. Or, you know, just rent it on DVD. I don’t know why it’s being released for limited showing, but I don’t care. It’s easily one of my favorite movies ever made. But we’ll talk about that shortly.

Read the rest of this entry »