Cheesy movie moments, every year has them. From “yer changin’ that boy’s lahfe” to “een Afrika it’s ‘bling bang,” every year produces its share of scenes so insufferably hokey that they’re like the verbal (or narrative) equivalent of a 555 number, something that says less about the character or story than it screams “THIS ISN’T REAL LIFE, IT’S A MOVIE!”

We’ve never done this before, but I thought it’d be fun to chronicle the year in cheesedickness that was. When we look back at 2011, what will be its “AH. DON’T WANT. YER LAHFE.” moment? With the help of the Uproxx staff, that’s what we attempted to find out. Keep in mind, plenty of these come from otherwise good movies, which is an important reminder that not even good movies are immune to cheese. A viewer must remain vigilant, for one can be cheesedick’d at any time, without warning.

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Wifebeaters vs. Rashguards. Go on, bro, make a move.

BoxOfficeMojo released their list of 2011′s highest-grossing movies today (based on domestic box office), so if you’re a studio exec, these are the best films of the year. You may also notice that none of the top 15 are movies released in the last two weeks of the year during the awards season window when studios release all the movies aimed at actual adults at the same time. Weird how that works out, isn’t it? You’d almost think that’s a dumb strategy.

Numbers 11 through 20 below.

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If you’re at all familiar with FilmDrunk, you probably know the drill: we normally report the film-related stories, but if there’s a weird story out there, you can bet we’ll find the film-related angle, no matter how tenuous. Or, we’ll just ignore our mandate completely so that we can post a funny headline. Hey, that’s just how we roll. If keeping it real is a crime, send me to prison. And put me in the realness section, I can’t hang with the rest of these phonies.

So, in honor of those stories so nutty that posting them was its own justification, here they are, the craziest stories of 2011.

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Last year, when I asked Vince if I could rank the year’s worst movies, it seemed like a harmless enough idea. Now, though, I realize how terrible it was, because I have to watch these horrible movies. Here’s a fun fact: 2011 HAD SO MANY F*CKING TERRIBLE MOVIES. And now that SOPA is about to kick in and limit my ability to criticize these awful films and the dipsh*ts who make them, lest I end up in military prison for life, I figured that this year’s list needed to be more concise than last year’s effort.

For starters, I added some new superlatives because it’s simply not fair to other terrible movies that Adam Sandler and Happy Madison crapped out 4 movies this year. I have to be impartial when I’m putting together a list of the worst movies and that’s just not possible when Bucky Larson is such a phenomenally awful movie. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Without further ado, I give you the Worst Movies of 2011. Please share this with as many people as possible so we can put an end to the misery.

Just kidding, that won’t happen. After all, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg will be releasing The Biggest Movie of All-Time 3D next year. We’re doomed.

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The Hollywood Reporter recently ran a feature on “Summer Box Office’s 10 Biggest Flops of 2011,”  (not to be confused with The Biggest Flops of 2011 So Far from a few weeks ago) and even though summer isn’t even over yet, I know these “lists of things with numbers next to them” soothe the internet beast. Just don’t expect me stop wearing these white shoes before Labor Day Weekend, you jackals.

I’m proud to say that in our Fantasy Summer Box Office Contest, Brendan and I predicted at least two of these (not that you needed to be Nostradamus to know The Change-Up or Green Lantern were going to tank). Sorry, Ryan Reynolds. If it’s any consolation, you still look like you’d smell nice.

1. Cowboys & Aliens
Directed by Jon Favreau and featuring James Bond star Daniel Craig, the $163 million-budgeted movie mixed two genres: Westerns and alien pics. Unfortunately, audiences didn’t embrace the result. From Universal and DreamWorks, Cowboys & Aliens has cumed [bwahahaha! it's hilarious because I'm 12! -Ed] only $129 million to date, including $93.5 million domestically and $35.5 million overseas (where it still has some territories yet to open).

2. Larry Crowne
Directed by and starring Tom Hanks (opposite Julia Roberts), Larry Crowne was intended to please adult audiences put off by summer popcorn fare. But the Universal film, fully financed by Vendome Films, topped out at $52.4 million worldwide, including only $35.6 million domestically.

3. Green Lantern
The Ryan Reynolds superhero pic cost a pricey $200 million to produce, yet has only earned $206.1 million worldwide. In North America, the Warner Bros. film topped out at $116 million, while it’s cumed $90.1 million to date at the international box office. Like Cowboys, it hasn’t fully rolled out overseas.

4. Priest
The Paul Bettany action pic, based on the Korean graphic novel, was the most expensive movie ever produced by Sony’s Screen Gems, sporting a price tag north of $60 million. It’s only earned $76.6 million worldwide, including $29.1 million in North America, and $47.4 million offshore.

5. The Change-Up
The Jason Bateman-Ryan Reynolds pic has earned only $34.5 million to date domestically, ending a dazzling winning streak for R-rated comedies. Universal hasn’t yet begun rolling out the movie in major foreign territories.

6. Conan the Barbarian
The reboot cost north of $70 million to make but is off to a poor start, grossing only $16.6 million domestically in its first 10 days, and $5.5 million in its initial foreign run. The film was fully financed by NuImage/Millennium, and is being distributed by Lionsgate.

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