Unless you’re well versed in obscure celebrity beefs, you might not remember that, as of last March, Human Centipede director Tom Six had planned to sue his star, Dieter Laser, for breach of contract for pulling out of The Human Centipede 3. Laser’s reason? I shit you not, creative disagreements. God only knows what had to be in a script for a guy who played an evil doctor who stitches people’s mouths to their assh*les to object to it, but luckily this story has a happy ending: Laser and Six have made up and will be re-uniting for The Human Centipede 3, the most hotly-anticipated movie about shit eaters since Rock of Ages. I’m told this one will be 500% more medically accurate.

Last March, it was reported that Dutch filmmaker Six, who wrote and directed both 2010′s Human Centipede (First Sequence) and the following year’s The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), was threatening to sue Laser for breach of contract. At the time, Ilona Six — Tom Six’s sister and the co-producer of the Human Centipede series — issued a statement claiming that Laser’s ego had “grown to laughably big proportions,” that the actor had demanded “unacceptable script changes,” and that he had backed out of the project “only seven weeks prior to shooting.”

“Look, all I ask is three things: I don’t want to play that stupid doctor, I don’t want to see any a-to-m scenes, and I get to fight a giant spider in the third act.”

The producer has now confirmed to EW that the lawsuit has been dropped and Laser, who memorably portrayed a deranged surgeon in the first film, will play a lead role in the franchise’s third entry. Laser will not, however, play the same character he did in Human Centipede. According to the producer, Laser and Human Centipede 2 star Laurence R. Harvey are set to play a new, villainous duo “with a storyline no one will expect.” Ilona Six also announced that “a big American celebrity” is set to appear in the film, which will start shooting in the U.S. this May. Finally, the producer confirmed the third film will feature a human centipede of more than 500 people.

That big American celebrity? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

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Human Centipede director Tom Six issued a press release today saying he’s suing lead actor Dieter Laser (can you believe that’s the name of a person? it sounds like a Nazi weapon) over breach of contract after Laser bailed on Human Centipede 3: The Poopiest Poop. At least, that’s the official story. If you ask me, the whole thing reeks of a publicity stunt. …Get it? Reeks? Nevermind, way too subtle a joke for a movie about people shitting in each other’s mouths. 

Here’s the press release via Best Movie News Ever (which I’d never heard of before today):

Tom Six’s company will sue Dieter Laser.

Because of the success of The Human Centipede, it seems that Mr Dieter Laser’s ego has grown to laughably big proportions. First signing the contract and rating the THC3 script as fantastic ,and then demanding his own unacceptable script changes, and now refusing to play the part only seven weeks prior to shooting. Six Entertainment Company will start legal action against Dieter Laser. Tom Six says not to worry – principal
photography will be postponed and will take place later this year.

Best Regards,

Ilona Six
Film Producer [via BleedingCool]

“Tom Six’s very professional, very official business company will file a legal suit in a court of law. Signed, Tom Six’s sister.” A+ press release there, guys. Meanwhile, Dieter Laser shat his side of the story into the eager, waiting mouths of Screenread (better? I went less subtle this time):

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Last night, Austin’s Fantastic Fest kicked off a week of honoring “horror, fantasy, sci-fi, action and just plain fantastic movies” with the opening night party, and the highlight of the evening was the debut of The Human Centipede 2. To show proper respect to the sequel to Tom Six’s 2010 horror tale of a mad doctor’s fetish for ass-to-mouth, the people at Fantastic Fest even organized the world’s largest Human Centipede Conga line. They clearly didn’t make it to my Bar Mitzvah.

But for those of us who couldn’t make it to Texas last night, all we have for now is the film’s new poster, which is, of course, not exactly theater-friendly. Check out the poster after the jump, as well as a patron-friendly alternative created by one unique theatre.

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Tom Six has been a household name ever since he filmed people pooping in and out forever in a movie that no one really wanted to watch, but everyone wanted to make jokes about (and cat toys, and necklaces, and tattoos, and porno {NSFW}…). He made a sequel earlier this year, but now that that’s done… it’s time for a third installment, naturally. But how to top himself? Why, he’s going to make it grosser, of course.

Present at the Empire Presents Big Screen event in London Six confirmed that he is gearing up a third and final Human Centipede film which will ‘make the second film look like a Disney film.’
“We’re going to shoot the third film entirely in America and it’s going to be my favourite. It’s going to upset a lot of people.” [Twitch]

You may remember that the second film was banned by the BBFC for, among other things…

“…a scene early in the film in which [the protagonist]  masturbates whilst he watches a DVD of the original Human Centipede film, with sandpaper wrapped around his penis, and a sequence later in the film in which he becomes aroused at the sight of the members of the ‘centipede’ being forced to defecate into one another’s mouths, culminating in sight of the man wrapping barbed wire around his penis and raping the woman at the rear of the ‘centipede’.

I don’t know how he plans to top that, short of actually showing up at your house and taking a dump in your lap, but that does sound exciting. Nice to seem him constantly reinventing himself. No one can call you a one-sh*t pony, no sirree.

(from our “Ideas for Movie-Themed Food Trucks” post)

I saw this story about the Human Centipede sequel being banned by the British Board of Film Classification yesterday and I didn’t think much of it, mainly because banning a movie I’m never going to see anyway isn’t much of a story. But I finally read the ruling, and found it more than noteworthy on account of its extreme specificity.  If only every tribunal’s decision included the phrases “forced defecation” and “sandpaper wrapped around his penis.”

This new work, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence), tells the story of a man who becomes sexually obsessed with a DVD recording of the first film and who imagines putting the ‘centipede’ idea into practice. Unlike the first film, the sequel presents graphic images of sexual violence, forced defecation, and mutilation, and the viewer is invited to witness events from the perspective of the protagonist. Whereas in the first film the ‘centipede’ idea is presented as a revolting medical experiment, with the focus on whether the victims will be able to escape, this sequel presents the ‘centipede’ idea as the object of the protagonist’s depraved sexual fantasy.

The principal focus of The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) is the sexual arousal of the central character at both the idea and the spectacle of the total degradation, humiliation, mutilation, torture, and murder of his naked victims. Examples of this include a scene early in the film in which he masturbates whilst he watches a DVD of the original Human Centipede film, with sandpaper wrapped around his penis, and a sequence later in the film in which he becomes aroused at the sight of the members of the ‘centipede’ being forced to defecate into one another’s mouths, culminating in sight of the man wrapping barbed wire around his penis and raping the woman at the rear of the ‘centipede’. There is little attempt to portray any of the victims in the film as anything other than objects to be brutalised, degraded and mutilated for the amusement and arousal of the central character, as well as for the pleasure of the audience. There is a strong focus throughout on the link between sexual arousal and sexual violence and a clear association between pain, perversity and sexual pleasure. It is the Board’s conclusion that the explicit presentation of the central character’s obsessive sexually violent fantasies is in breach of its Classification Guidelines and poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers.

The BBFC has rejected the sexually violent, and potentially obscene DVD, The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) This means that it cannot be legally supplied anywhere in the UK. [BBCFC]

Hey, wasn’t that an Eddie Izzard bit?  Anyway, is it just me, or does this movie sound like an adaptation of that book they wrote on South Park, Scrotie McBoogerballs?  Or is it more like Butters’ book, The Poop That Took a Pee?  Either way, needs more Morgan Freeman.

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