I now present to you one of my favorite videos in a long while (or at least for as long as I can remember, which is about 30 minutes). It’s called “Tom Cruise Gets a Letter From His Australian Cousin,” and FilmDrunkard Jon sent it to the Frotcast today, saying, “Hopefully this will become the next ‘Hitler reacts to stuff’ video meme.”

I guess I could see that, but the original scene is from Cocktail, and what really makes the video is the letter, which had me laughing right from the salutation, “gday yer big poof!” (The cheerleader handwriting makes it that much better). And then right through the first line, “So how ya goin, ya kweah! Me, Pongo, Dilwash, and Japseye ah coming ta visit again!”

God, it’s perfect. When I lived in Australia, I played rugby with a guy everyone called “Bedpan.” One weekend his parents were in town to watch him play, and while we were warming up, someone yelled “Bedpan!” At that point, another guy piped up and said, “Oi, don’t be c*nts, don’t call him Bedpan in front of his mum.” So then everyone just called him “Pan,” because no one could remember his real name. True story.

[via AdamBuxton, HighDefinite]

Paramount released this new publicity still from Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, starring Tom Cruise, Paula Patton, Simon Pegg, and Jeremy Renner, from director Brad Bird (Ratatouille), opening December 21st. Here we see Cruise’s Ethan Hunt grilling Renner’s Brandt on whether there are indeed gays in there.

This Christmas… Justice wears white pants.

The news today for Tom Cruise’s latest project, Rock of Ages, is that Saturday Night Live’s Will Forte is joining the cast of this Broadway-to-big-screen musical adaptation. Forte joins Cruise, Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Bryan Cranston, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Malin Akerman’s super hot self, among others, for this star-studded celebration of the Tony-nominated musical.

Cruise is playing 80s rock superstar Stacee Jaxx and you can see from the image above that he’s hardly sacrificing his trademark manliness that he’s so well-known for these days. Don’t you worry about that, friends, because his woman, Katie Holmes, says that he’s still a boss.

“Two years ago he took me up on his P-51 Mustang, a fighter plane from World War II. He painted the words, ‘Kiss Me, Kate’ on the side,” Holmes says in the August issue of InStyle. “It feels like you’re on a bike in the sky. I thought, I’m either going to spend this whole flight totally freaked out or realize this is pretty thrilling.” (Via People)

When they landed, Katie wrapped her arms around Tom’s neck and moved in to kiss him, but he pulled back and said, “Stop it! You’re messing up my scarf!”

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The trailer for Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (one colon, one dash, no number) just hit the web, and it has all the thrills, chills, and Eminem rapping about Tom Cruise one could possibly hope for. Directed by Brad Bird of the awesome The Incredibles and Ratatouille, this one stars Cruise (you may remember him doing his own stunts on the Burj Khalifa in Dubai) alongside Jeremy Renner, with Josh Holloway, Tom Wilkinson, and Simon Pegg in supporting roles. The actress attached to the boobs below is Paula Patton.  She looks nice, but frankly I think this could’ve used a spicy Latina or two.  I bet when Michael Bay saw Tom Cruise rappelling down the tallest building in the world on the same day his movie about Josh Duhamel wingsuiting off the Sears Tower hits theaters, he crushed the Monster Energy Drink he’d been sipping, stroked the purring snow leopard in his lap, and silently swore revenge.

"Are you ready to rock???" "AS LONG AS THERE AREN'T ANY GAYS IN THERE!"

Here’s the first picture of Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages, an adaptation of the Broadway musical of the same name in which Cruise plays heavy metal singer Stacee Jaxx.  Co-starring Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand, Rock of Ages comes from criminally under-recognized hack Adam Shankman, who started his career as a choreographer, then made The Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez, then was allowed to direct six more movies.  It’s one of the all-time great Hollywood success stories. Rock of Ages centers around a love story between characters played by Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough, set during “the rock music scene of 1987.”  Said Shankman of casting Boneta:

“It’s that feeling you get when you realized you’ve discovered lightning in a bottle,” Shankman just told me about Boneta’s audition. “It reminds me of when Zac Efron auditioned for Hairspray, Channing Tatum for Step Up and Liam Hemsworth auditioned for The Last Song. When the guy walks in, the guy walks in!”

This is going to be worse than Chernobyl.