It blows my mind that Matthew Broderick released a teaser for commercial (A TEASER FOR A F*CKING COMMERCIAL!) in which he reprises his role as Ferris Bueller sorta, and it actually succeeded in getting people excited. Honda released the Todd Phillips-directed spot online (which you can watch blow), and now both “Matthew Broderick” and “Ferris Bueller” are trending topics on Twitter. Because when a B-list actor makes an elaborate attempt to simply remind you of a film we all saw 25 years ago, the internet goes crazy for it, even if it was just a transparent attempt to sell you minivans. God I hate my generation.
You might remember that early last year, I told you about a film Todd Phillips was making before Hangover 2, a smaller-budgeted ($12 million) “hard-R” raunchy comedy starring a cast of unknowns (all first-timers) directed by commercial director Nima Nourizadeh (with Phillips “closely overseeing”). Well now the trailer is finally here, and even though it steals the title of one my favorite Matthew Broderick chimp dramas of the 80s, it does have lots of scantily clad teens, which I enjoy. Plus, it’s very nostalgic. My high school experience was exactly like this, except instead of sex-filled pool parties, we hung out at Taco Bell and made potato guns and never got laid ever.
Todd Phillips has just about reached that “I can do whatever the f*ck I want” stage in his career [which, strangely, seems to involve banging lazy-eyed herp factory Paris Hilton -Vince], what with even his sequels raking in more than half a billion dollars, and now it looks like he’s found his next project in a Rolling Stone article. Phillips has optioned the rights to a Guy Lawson article (“The Stoner Arms Dealers”), about two potheads who somehow became weapons traffickers, thanks the government’s love of dishing out big bucks to small contractors.
Watching The Hangover Part II, it’s easy to see why intellectuals would hate Todd Phillips. It’s an unnecessary sequel, half the jokes rely on outrageousness and nudity, there’s a monkey sidekick, gay panic jokes, stock characters galore, Thai scenery straight of the It’s-a-Small-World-After-All book of national stereotypes, and the whole enterprise is imbued with that Entouragey sense of boys being boys that snoots love to despise**. The reason Todd Phillips is a genius, however, is that even with the hackiest, most idiot-pandering setup in the world, he can still deliver a punchline that only the smarmiest of uptight dickweeds would refuse to laugh at. Yes, monkey sidekicks are almost as overused a trope as amnesia, BUT OH MY GOD, IS THAT MONKEY WEARING A MINIATURE MOTORCYCLE HELMET WITH A BANANA ON IT?! I THINK I LOVE YOU, MOTORCYCLE MONKEY COKE-MULE!
The second installment moves the action from Vegas (one exec actually passed on the first Hangover when Phillips wouldn’t call it “What Happens in Vegas”) to Thailand, where dorky dentist Ed Helms is set to marry possibly cross-eyed, too-hot-and-young-for-him Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch), much to the chagrin of his future father-in-law, a disapproving Asian caricature (YOU BLING SHAME TO FAMIRRY, ROUND EYE!). Before you know it, Helms and the boys have woken up in Bangkok not knowing how they got there (“It happened again!”), with a tattoo on Helms’ face and his 16-year-old brother-in-law Teddy (Stanford pre-med, cellist, apple of his father’s eye, played by Ang Lee’s son, Mason) missing. The setting is an upgrade, as is the Macguffin, the only clue as to Teddy’s whereabouts being his severed finger. “Give it up, Bangkok has him now,” everyone tells them. Whereas the foundation for the wackiness of the first Hangover was a yuppie who might not make it to his wedding, this time around, there’s an actual edge, a heart of darkness vibe that gives it more depth than just DUDE BRO WE HAD SUCH A CRAZY NIGHT DOZER PUNCHED A COP IT WAS SICK.
Todd Phillips famously began an interview with Movieline last year by saying “this website is the worst, but go ahead,” and I’m happy to report that the Hangover/Old School director still grips it and rips it, lives life with a lot of flair, and generally keeps it real as sh*t. He recently sat for a video interview with David Poland which began much the same way, with Phillips carefully outlining the various ways in which Poland sucks, with Poland laughing along uncomfortably and trying unsuccessfully to make a joke out of it. Some of the money quotes:
“Let’s do it. It’s going to be aggressive because I’m not a fan of Poland’s or the site.”
“I will say, having read your site here and there, you might be the worst box office prognosticator on the planet Earth, let alone that has a website. Literally. You are wrong 99% of the time.”
“You have this bizarre attitude that you know things about the business.”
“And I’m only talking numbers because I know you love to talk numbers on your site, but you are out of control wrong all the time.”
“Yes, there is a bit of revenge in making the movie, particularly with people like you.”
“Yes, sure I think this movie is going to do well overseas, but more specifically, I think I remember you telling me before the [Hangover One press tour] interview started, saying, you know, ‘Warner Brothers has this idea that your movie’s going to do $100 million, and no offense, it’s a good movie, but I see it topping out at $60 or $70, but there is a limit on an R-rated comedy with no stars…’ AND, you went on to tell me, ‘and by the way, I saw Land of the Lost, and it’s a pretty good movie…’ and you started telling me how brilliant Land of the Lost was. Which I didn’t like, and I love Will Ferrell and I love Brad Silverman, I’m not being a hater — and you trying to antagonize me saying it was a bad idea to open against Land of the Lost. Cut to, we do $45 million on the weekend. You thought we were going to do $60 TOTAL.”
“You told me to my face, and I was okay with it, that Land of the Lost was a superior film. And I defy you to find three people that agree with you on that.”
“I did visit your site the other day, and I don’t know what you did, but it looks horrible. What happened?”
(*towels off, lights cigarette*) Oh man. That is some good schadenfreude. Nothing against David Poland specifically — I’ve heard his name, but I’m not familiar enough with his site to have any specific beefs (unlike, say, Nikki Finke, who seems like the kuntiest human alive, or Pete Hammond, whose transparent shilling is an insult to anyone who’d actually read his columns) — but it’s always nice to see movie bloggers get sh*t on. In general, we’re terrible people. And the worst are the self-appointed experts who are so good at self-promotion that they can fool people into forgetting that they don’t actually have any credentials and are almost never right, much like Mel Kiper does for sports. Do you realize Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is STILL tracking 77% recommended on RottenTomatoes? SEVENTY-F*CKING SEVEN PERCENT. MORE THAN THREE-FOURTHS OF SO-CALLED FILM EXPERTS ADMITTED LIKING THAT MOVIE. Go ahead and read the reviews, I promise they weren’t being satirical. Thank God for people like Todd Phillips. He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t vindictive, just smart enough to realize that the whore blowing him might not actually care about his family. My God, he’s almost cool enough to make me question my policy on guys named “Todd.”
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