If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to be the Today Show’s film critic for THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS (since 1973), the answer seems to be two-fold. One, look like Chester A. Arthur’s eccentric pocket watch merchant. Two, act as if your every pun is mankind’s greatest achievement. At least, it’s worked for Gene Shalit (fun fact: he’s 85. The upside of looking like a bizarre caricature is that you barely age.). After the jump, I’ve got a supercut with nothing but his best puns, and it is simply delicious.

Read the rest of this entry »

In an interview with the Today Show, Kirk Cameron revealed that he refused to kiss the actress playing his wife in his upcoming “movie” Fireproof.

“I have a commitment not to kiss any other woman,” [Notice how he limits it to women? -Ed.] the former child star of “Growing Pains” told Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford Monday on TODAY in New York.

To get around the conflict, the filmmakers employed a bit of movie magic [ta da! you're gay], Cameron explained. They dressed his wife, actress Chelsea Noble, like the movie’s female lead and shot the scene in silhouette.

“So when I’m kissing my wife, we’re actually husband and wife honoring marriage behind the scenes,” Cameron said as Gifford and Kotb melted from the romanticism of the moment. [MSNBC - Thanks, RoboPanda]

Thanks, I just vomited.  I bet you ladies won’t find it so romantic when he wears a sweatshirt to bed and treats going down on you like a little kid treats brussel sprouts. Read the rest of this entry »

Matt Lauer interviewed Christian Bale on the Today Show this morning, where they compared fashionable brown buzz cuts.  Okay not really, but Matt Lauer of course read the first line of Peter Travers’ lame Dark Knight review (Lighting bolt… strikes a blanket?  A blanket we call movies?  What kind of retard metaphor is that?).  Meanwhile, Christian Bale spoke in the strangest accent I’ve ever heard.  He’s somehow landed halfway in between a Brit and a New Jersey cab driver.  Ehh yo, Tony don’t brew dis kinna tea fa just anybody, ya dig me, guv? 

I mean, I’d still do him, I’m just sayin.  Why so serious?