(The Great Catsby, obvi)

When I first heard Baz Luhrmann would be making a film adaptation of The Great Gatsby, my first thought was, “BUT WILL IT BE DARK AND/OR GRITTY?   CAN IT BE UPDATED FOR CONTEMPORARY AUDIENCES? AND WHAT OF ADDING VAMPIRES?”  Looks like I might not be disappointed…

Praising the 3D format, director Baz Luhrmann told The Hollywood Reporter that he has workshopped his upcoming project The Great Gatsby in 3D, though he has not made a call about whether to shoot in the format.

I imagine the final call will depend on whether Luhrmann thinks the bulky 3D camera rig will be maneuverable enough for all the car chases and wire work.

(barely related)

With studios fighting over who gets to adapt the Family Circus comic strip (note: this actually happened), you figure it was only a matter of time before Hollywood got around to making the most famous novel of the 20th century, the book Hunter S. Thompson used to type over and over in the hopes it would rub off on him. But unless you count the costume orgy we filmed in my van, The Great Gatsby hasn’t been a movie since Jack Clayton’s 1974 version starring Robert Redford, adapted by Francis Ford Coppola.  Well now Baz Luhrmann’s making it, which would be great news if his last film wasn’t Australia.

Luhrmann has officially given the starring role in The Great Gatsby to Carey Mulligan.  Mulligan was a late entrant to an elite list of actresses that Luhrmann met with while he conducted readings with Leonardo DiCaprio, who’ll play Jay Gatsby. Tobey Maguire is expected to play his friend, Nick Carraway, who narrates the tale.

Luhrmann delivered the message to Deadline, and gave me the above photo he took of Mulligan during rehearsals, when she was in Daisy Buchanan mode on November 2. “I was privileged to explore the [Daisy Buchanan] character with some of the world’s most talented actresses, each one bringing their own particular interpretation, all of which were legitimate and exciting. However, I was thrilled to pick up the phone an hour ago to the young Oscar-nominated [for An Education] British actress Carey Mulligan and say to her: “Hello, Daisy Buchanan.” [Deadline]

Told from the perspective of a rich dude who finds himself running with a circle of even filthier rich dudes who get drunk and bang each others’ girlfriends, many say the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic was a precursor to later Josh Schwartz shows such as The OC and Gossip Girls.

(Hurrr, upside down kiss; ur doin’ it wrong)

It was first reported as a rumor on DeadlineHollywood and later confirmed by Sony, Spider-man 4 is off, and Sony is rebooting the franchise.  Looks like they were still having script problems, so Sam Raimi told Sony he couldn’t make the planned summer 2011 release date.  Rather than replace him on 4, they opted for a total reboot with a new director and cast, planned for 2012.  From DHD:

Immediately, the news brought celebration and consternation equally to webslinger fanboys who say the reboot plot puts Peter Parker back in high school. There’s also much unconfirmed speculation that this new franchise will be in 3D. And the fans also recall that, in 1991, James Cameron wrote a treatment for Spider-Man and now they’re wondering if he might helm the reboot. (Sony ended up acquiring his treatment in a legal settlement.)

Let me put an end to their wonderment: no, James Cameron isn’t going to direct a Spider-Man movie.  He’s the hottest person in Hollywood, no way he’s dealing with Sony’s bullsh*t and an established franchise.  However, now that Spidey is safely back in high school, Sony is free to cast some kid with fruity Zac Efron hair from Wizards of Waverly place or similar (keep your phone on, Taylor Lautner).  And of course it will be in 3D because money.  Sony couldn’t strongarm Sam Raimi, so they’ll get a director who they can, and it will suck because directors you can strongarm rarely make good movies.  Say what you will about Sam Raimi — Spider-Man 2 was the only decent movie of the franchise — few directors do schlock and silliness as well as he does, and the success of the franchise seems more because of him and despite Sony, rather than the other way around.  Does anyone even care about a Spider-Man movie at this point?  I think we’ve hit the tipping point on Superhero movies.  I never thought I’d hear myself typing this, but not every protagonist has to wear spandex.

However, I’d like to see the rebooted Spider-Man look something like this:

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It sounds unlikely to me, but LatinoReview is claiming that Tobey Maguire is in early talks to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit.  Of course, even if it’s true, it’s not that bold of a claim since “early talks” generally doesn’t mean all that much.  Boy, this is a fun story, huh?

I recently got a tip that during promoting the film BROTHERS at the Four Seasons in New York last month, Tobey Maguire was having a conversation and was asked which director he would like to work with next? [sic]
Tobey’s answer? “Gullermo Del Toro”
Know what else Tobey said?
“We may have something here in the near future.”
Really?
Could Peter Parker be playing Bilbo Baggins?

STOP GIVING ME THE THIRD DEGREE!
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(EATING SUSHI OFF NAKED CHIX: UR DOIN IT WRONG.)

Someone just sent me this picture of David Blaine, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Tobey Maguire, which is probably pretty old, but it was new to me. Even beyond featuring David Blaine, the full picture (this is just the top half) is pretty disturbing, and as soon as I saw it I really wished I hadn’t. I’m only sharing it with you guys because I needed to spread the pain around.  Be warned, the full picture is NSFW for Tobey Maguire peen — or possibly, and I really hope this is the case, peen Photoshopped onto Tobey Maguire’s body.  The full picture is here and Jesus why did you click that? Did you not hear what I just said about Tobey Maguire peen?  Oh Christ, there’s also Blaine balls.  Hey guys, I didn’t see you there at first.  I don’t know about you, but I always imagined Tobey Maguire’s scrotum to look more, I dunno… boyish and… youthful.  Cherubic, say.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go curl into the fetal position on the floor of an icy shower.  Not because of the picture, that’s just how I spend most afternoons.

UPDATE: Read the rest of this entry »